How much help will I need?

Omega20 · June 2010

I'm wondering how much help I'll need after delivery. Chances are I'll have a c-section, so I'll be pretty much out of commission for the first few days home. Did you find this to be true, or were you walking around ok after you left the hospital?

I have no doubts that DH will figure things out quickly and be an amazing father, but the man has never changed a diaper or fed a baby in his life. Should I plan to have my Mom stay for at least a week or so?

jenn_darrin1515 · June 2010

I was walking ok after we left the hospital...but I still had a lot of swelling and was very uncomfortable...they actually want you up and walking after a c-section...helps with the healing!

My DH had never changed a diaper in his life either...and he jumped right in and was great...but he had just started a brand new job 2 weeks earlier and couldn't get time off, so my mom would come over every day for about 6 hours or so the first couple weeks and help me out wiht getting the babies changed and situated and fed...and with cleaning and grocery shopping which was a life saver....if your dh will be off with you the first week, I would recommend having your mom stay the week after, so you have an extra pair of hands home with you for as long as possible....GL!

Temp159135562506975 · June 2010

it all really depends on how you feel, how well your DH does, how much help you LIKE to have.

Dh and I both have a ton of baby experience (from our DS1 and also other babies in our family, etc)... so we really didn't need much help at all - during the weekend when Griffin was home from daycare we had my family come and play with him -that was the biggest help- but with the babies we did fine together. DH was home for 4 weeks with me - by the time he went back to work i was feeling totally fine and no problem on my own.

i felt fine home from the hospital - if it took my meds every 4 hours. After the first week or so I was fine without meds during the day - only took them at night to help me sleep better.

We're not big fans of having people in our house all day long "helping" so to us, "help" would just get annoying.... but some people love it- so it just depends.

jbl126 · June 2010

My girls were in the NICU for two weeks so I was able to recover before they came home. But my mom did stay with us for a week. She would get up in the middle of the night to help with feedings so DH could sleep since he didnt take off right away. And neither DH or I ever changed diapers or fed babies before ours and we both jumped right in. If you are comfortable with having someone stay or come over everyday, I would say take the help. I still have help and while I know I can do it myself, it is just that much easier for someone else to be over. And this way, my mom and MIL get to spend time with the girls which I know they enjoy.

macchiatto · June 2010

I think it totally depends on the person and how things go with their delivery and even on the babies (some newborns sleep a ton, some are colicky or refluxy and cry a ton--I had one of each, etc.). I think if you and your mom get along well, having her there the first week is a great idea. DH really had no newborn experience and he jumped in and did great, but having a third person there definitely would've helped. I had been on bedrest at the end of pregnancy and then had a vaginal delivery with second-degree tear so it was a little hard for me to get around the first 4-5 days. Plus we were both exhausted! There was just so little time in a 24-hr period when both babies were sleeping.

lisa&andy · June 2010

I was up and walking without a problem when I was released. I did have problems in situations that required me to lift my leg up, such as getting in the shower or car. DH was clueless, but he jumped right in and if he needed help or had a question he asked or googled (haha). If you get along with your mom I say go for it and accept the help.

CateElizabeth · June 2010

3 sets of hands for 2 babies is the perfect ratio. Especially if you have a C-section and it takes you a while to get up to speed (as it did for me). I'm sure it's possible with 2 people, but MH was amazing from day 1 and I don't even think he could have survived without my mom here as an extra set of hands, especially with me out of commission that first week.

kaitley44 · June 2010

I had my mom's help for the first week and it was great. I also had a clueless husband who jumped in and did great sometimes. He was very nervous around the babies. He also went back to work right away. I have very colicy babies and had to call my mom to come back this week. my twins are 4 weeks old. I had to call my sister a couple of times and my MIL as well.

I would accept any help you can get! My babies are always nursing and I hardly ever get to get out of my chair. Nothing seems to get done when I am on my own.

DeniseL · June 2010

having your mother there would be a great help

I had a c-section and was hard to get up and down my first week home. plus with twins you barely get any sleep at ngith since they feed every 3 hours. my mother came over every day for the first 2 weeks since my husband had to work and it was a life saver. I would look at the clock and hoping she would be there since I was so tired. Having spend the night to help you for the early morning feedinds is key!

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