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High-Risk Pregnancy
Bed rest with a toddler
Hi ladies,
I know there's no golden key answer, but was hoping for some advice, sympathy...anything!
I'm going on day 11 of bed rest and my 23 month old DD just always cries when DH takes her for her bath and bed because she wants me. When she comes to give me hugs, she cries when it's time to let go. She has some good days, and today is not one of those. It breaks my heart to know I can't just give her a bath, or help with her bed time routine.
I guess there's not much I can do. More looking for some sympathy than anything. Thanks for letting me vent!
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Re: Bed rest with a toddler
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Aw, I'm sending you lots of sympathy.
I'm on (mostly) bedrest for these last few weeks and have a 3.5 yr old and a 16 mo old. My older son understands that mommy needs to rest and is okay with that. But my youngest really wants to be close to me, in my arms, on me, kicking my belly...whatever. Ha!
It stinks. It helps having people around who he's comfy with and loves, but still he's not used to having mommy whenever he wants.
I keep telling myself that he won't remember and that it might be good practice for him for when the baby comes. Hang in there!
I'm not on total bedrest but I'm not allowed to do a lot of things such as lift DD. I also feel crapy most of the time so DH and MIL have been taking on a lot of the responsibility of DD. DD has always been really attached to me and now that I am home, she is even more so. My situation is better than yours in that I am present for her bed time routine. I just can't do some of the actual work for it. She still gets upset because when I am around, she only wants me to do everything including lifting her into her crib.
I don't have any advice for you but I do sympathize. Hang in there.
You can do it!
My DS is 2 years old and like your DD, just doesn't really get that mommy can't play, lift, give baths, etc. I've been on bedrest for about 7.5 weeks now (nearly the first 3 weeks were in the hospital), and it DOES get easier as far as LO's understanding/ acceptance of the situation goes. My DS no longer fusses when I can't do things, though he does still ask. I, of course, still feel horrible every time he asks me to do something with him and I struggle to keep my mind off of all the things I would like to do (and all the things I had planned for us this summer).
We've done some adapting of activities, which seems to have helped. Maybe they will help you too, if you aren't already doing these things. Whenever DS is playing, I lay on the floor of the playroom and play with him (blocks, trucks, read books, etc.). When he and DH go outside, I lay on a lawn chair or blanket and watch them play. DS now tries to include me and throws the ball to me, brings me pretend mud pies, and sometimes I blow bubbles for him to chase. As far as his bedtime routine goes, we've moved the location from DS's room to our bed. We do his book, diaper change, prayers, and cuddles in our bed (so I can lie down). Then DH carries DS to his room. They've made quite the routine of giving 'monkey hugs' on the way to DS's bed.
Wow, this got long. Sorry. All this to say, again, "you can do it!" It is so heartbreaking to hear your own LO cry. Just like everything at this toddler stage, she may adapt after a little more time. You're doing a great job keeping your other LO growing inside you!
Thank you all for the kind words and support! I know it will get easier with time, but some days are just so much harder than others. I'm hoping for a good day today, one where I don't lose it.
As far as help, DD goes to daycare during the day. DH drops her off before work now (I used to) and then he's off. We've help in the afternoons for her dinner/bathtime if DH isn't back (both a sitter and her daycare teacher have helped), and friends have come and helped as well. For the rest of daycare, I've set up grocery delivery, meal prep delivery, cleaning services, and as mentioned above, babysitting.
I'm a bit of a control freak, so this has been very hard. And as I mentioned earlier, not being able to do the morning and night routine has been hard emotionally. Though, on a good note, it allows DH more time with DD.
Again, thanks for all the kind words of support.