Mom's with 2 children or thinking about a second...

JoJoLiz6 · June 2010

I just had my daughter 3 1/2 months ago and I am already thinking about having another. I am still unsure of how close together I want them to be. I know I do not want 2 under 2. Even though I am completely excited about having another, the thought completely overwhelms me. Thinking about going through the newborn phase with no sleep scares me... especially with another child to take care of.

Does anyone else feel this way? If you already have 2 children, can you share the age range in between and your experience?

Thanks

Lisa and Mickey · June 2010

My son is 5 months and I am very nervous about getting pregnant again soon. I want to have more kids, but I am nowhere near ready to be pregnant again even though I loved being pregnany. I am thinking now of starting to try again after DS turns 1, but we may wait even longer than that. That being said, we would like our kids to be close in age and I'm 30, so we can't/won/ wait too long.

wife8174 · June 2010

This is a great question! It's really a personal preference. I had 2 under 2, which was HARD at first! I got pregnant with my 2nd when my 1st was about 5 months old (they are 14.5 months apart). I never thought it'd happen that quickly b/c we had to go through fertility treatments to get the 1st. But, somehow it did! Now that they are 2.5 and 3.5, it's a lot easier, and getting better by the day. It's nice b/c they play together, were in diapers together (one still is), and I'm getting out of the baby phase at the same time. (I can't fathom the thought of just having a 2nd now and going back to up all night, bottles, baby food, etc.) I think 2-3 years apart would be nice...although now that I'm in my situation, I kinda like it!

latai03 · June 2010

I am 31 and my husband is 39 so we are already thinking about when the next one will be. EVERYONE asks us even though I haven't popped this one out yet!

I should have #1 in October and if all goes well would like to start trying for #2 in June when he is 8 months, to hopefully conceive by Sept. That will make them about 17 to 20 months apart.

Financially I think it would be tough to have infant care for two, since the price drops considerably and there are more options after 24 months. I would like to have two fairly close together since we don't have any family in the area and are friends are already done having kids, it would be nice for them to grow together.

Selfishly I think about the toll on my body. Think about it - pregnant for 10 months, breast feed for 9 months, pregnant again for 10 months, breast feed again for 9 - 12 months! I will be 35 before I get my body back to myself!

cbaummer2be · June 2010

We had our first two at 18 months apart. It was tough. The adjustment for the oldest was tough and dealing two under two was a challenge but it's a lot easier now. They actually like playing together and will grow up being close. I am now expecting 3 and 4 and I am not sure how that will go. The oldest will be 4 years older so I am hoping she will be more involved however I don't think I can expect that from the second child as he will only be 2 1/2. I am not sure I would recommend 4 under 4 but 2 under 2 is manageable. Good luck.

mdmommy07 · June 2010

My boys are 20 months apart and I absolutely love it. They look for eachother, play together, share everything, are in diapers together, etc. The diapers part is hard since that is more money for 2 in diapers, but since DS1 wants no part of potty training, I have a feeling they may be out of diapers at the same time also :-) It was hard at first with a toddler and an infant, but you find a routine and a balance that works and it gets a lot easier.

mrs. remy · June 2010

Well we know we want two (possibly a third, but that is debatable). Since I was 31 when I had Sean ideally I would like to be about 33 when I have my second. Well.....um, I am 32.5 now so part of me is like wanting to do it now. Going though the newborn stuff again terrifies me though. That was rough. My kid did not like to sleep. As that kind of fades into distant memories though I am more and more just kind of smitten with the thought of cuddly newborns and becoming more open to getting pregnant again, lol. I actually really liked being pregnant, besides the last two weeks. There are so many pros and cons to having them close together, and to spacing them out a bit....its confusing. But I have to say I really like the idea of having them close to get through the baby stuff together. what a ramble that was.

jcsntms06 · June 2010

I've been thinking about having another one, but I know I don't want 2 under 2 at the moment. The thought of having 2 babies under 2 scares me slightly. Yes I loved when Annabelle was so tiny and loved to cuddle, but I hated the sleepless nights and I'm not sure I want to go through a possible high risk pregnancy again. So I've decided to wait until my next yearly appointment to discuss the options with my doctor. Annabelle will be a little over a year old. The odds at getting pre-e again are kind of high and having a baby in the NICU just scares me. Plus can I do bedrest with a toddler? So many questions to ask.

lauranne · June 2010

I always wanted my children close together-2 ish years would be perfect. We had wanted for Aiden to have a little brother or sister by now, but God apparently has other plans for us. I hate the newborn phase, and the longer it takes for us to get pregnant and the older and more independent Aiden gets, the harder it will be for us to go back to having a newborn again.

I guess my point is that you can't always plan for things or assume they'll happen as you want. I got pregnant with Aiden on the first try and am still trying for #2 a year after we started trying. Not trying to be a debbie downer, just something to think about!

Kaybee44 · June 2010

My kids are 18 months apart. I'm not going to lie. There are times where it is overwhelming when they both need something but I think you're going to get that with any age under 3 or 4. There are also times where it's awesome. I love that they are close together.

weezie825 · June 2010

This is an extremely timely post for me... DD is 12 weeks old and we are discussing when we should start trying for number 2. Because of age and health issues, it needs to be sooner rather than later. DH is ready to start trying again right now. We'll probably wait until DD is about 6 months old.

I am more scared of being pregnant during the summer in Baltimore than I am about having 2 under 2. LOL.

Kaybee44 · June 2010

Eh, I was pregnant twice during the summer. Once was when I was 30-40 weeks pregnant, the other was only until about 13 weeks. I was more comfortable the 1st time around

2 under 2 is not scary. As someone I know said, going from 1 to 2 is a whole lot easier than going from 0 to 1. You know what you're getting into and sort of what to expect. You know that you'll lose sleep and that sometimes a baby just wants to be held. It's all in experience

autumn bliss · June 2010

IF we had our finances in better order, I had no more weight to lose, I got my BP back down, AND my brother wasn't getting married in June, we would try to conceive again in August/September. I have no desire to be very pregnant in the summer and I would love a May or June baby, so if we were unsucessful during those months, we would wait again until next year.

I am not scared of them being that close together, my brother and I are Irish twins and while I know it was hard on my parents back then, I like having a sibling close in age now. I just know that is just not in the cards for us right now. Plus, we cannot afford two in daycare so things would have to change dramatically. I loved being pregnant until the last few weeks when things got really uncomfortable. Realistically, we will probably TTC sometime late summer next year and they would be just over two years apart.

daisyterp · June 2010

I definitely wasn't thinking about #2 when DD was 3.5 months old!

I did not want 2 under 2 either- but as soon as we were out of that range I was OK w/ getting pg again and promptly did!

DS is on the verge of STTN (he goes from 11:30 pm to 5 am) - but once he was down to 2 wake-ups I didn't feel that sleep-deprived because I BF and he's in the bassinet beside my bed, so I nurse him in bed and basically sleep through those middle of the night feedings.

I admit I have let DD watch too much TV since DS was born- but at I don't feel too bad about it because I was psycho about no TV at all until she was 2 and I only let her watch educational stuff we have DVR'd or pull up on demand.

My house is a disaster though!

moonfaerie · June 2010

weezie825:

I am more scared of being pregnant during the summer in Baltimore than I am about having 2 under 2. LOL.

Being very pg in summer does suck but you can sit in the AC and order your DH to bring you snowballs to get through it. Stick out tongue Conceiving DD was a big surprise and it took me a long time to get used to the idea of being a mom, but once I got used to it, I knew I wanted two under 2. I love being close in age to my sisters (16 months older and 15 months younger than I) plus I have female issues so it made sense to try before my cycle had too much time to get wacky.

nutmegger · June 2010

I used up all of my FMLA w/ DD, so I'm not eligible for leave again until 3/1/12, which is exactly 2 years after I returned to work after DD (she's now 7.5 months). So that's the earliest we'll be having #2, which would put them 16 months apart.

I have fibroids, and my OB told me a year ago that I should plan to be finished having babies within 5 years. Since we only want 2 kids, I guess anywhere between 3/12 and the end of 2014 is our range for #2.

Ideally 2012 anytime after March would be my preference, but I'd also like to be out of our 2br condo first. Since we bought at the height of the market, movin is unlikely, but you never know.

snickerdoodle27 · June 2010

I was nowhere near ready to even entertain the thought of having another until ds was a year old. And even then, my dh was ready before me. We always knew we wanted two kids though. I got pg with dd when ds was 2, so he was nearly 3 when she was born. Honestly it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We had some sleep issues b/c we transitioned him to a bed before she was born, and that was rough, but once we got through that, and her sleeping in the crib, it's been much better! You're alreayd doing the work for 1, so adding another really isn't that bad. Sure it's hectic but doable. Jacob adores his baby sister and she adores him. He makes her laugh like no one else, and she squeals when she sees him. It's so cute. I think having them 3 years apart was great for us. Anything closer would have been tougher, but some couples prefer that.

KathrynMD · June 2010

I wasn't anywhere near ready for #2 when DD was a year old, but I'm getting closer to ready now. I think we'll see how we feel when DD is 2 and hopefully go from there.

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