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3rd Trimester
How to get DH on the same page?
DH and I have been talking about when we will call our parents. I don't want ANYONE called until I am admitted into the LDR room because I don't want anyone notified if it is a false alarm. I also don't like the idea of people waiting and waiting for me during labor and then expecting to see the baby directly after she is born. I want to have some mommy time with the baby to nurse and bond.
DH wants to call his mom when we get into the car. He is adamant about this and says he will NOT keep his mother out of the loop. I don't consider this keeping her in the dark, just calling when we are ready. I'm not planning on telling MY mom until we are in LDR. AND his mom wants to be able to come in right away because that is what she did for his sister's baby.
My mother is on the same page as me. How do I get DH's mother to accept where I am coming from and give me some time without offending her?
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Re: How to get DH on the same page?
Are they local? If so, I agree that you really don't want to call anyone until you are actually admitted in active labor. No sense in people getting into a frenzy for latent labor where you'll just go right back home. So is it DH or DH's mom that needs to get this??? Tricky situation but hold your ground. False alarm is no fun for anyone.....just hype that.
She lives about 5 minutes from the hospital. They BOTH need to get this because they are expecting me to behave as his sister did, which I won't. I don't want people sweeping into the room directly after she is born. I want some time to bond.
Maybe you could compromise by saying that you'll call her when you get into the car and keep her informed of what's going on, but that she won't be able to see the baby until a couple of hours after you deliver because you will need time to bond and nurse?
My hospital thankfully has a 'no visitors until 2 hours after labor' policy that makes it easy--I can just make them the bad guy. I've told people that I would rather they not sit around in the waiting room waiting for me, but my mom said she still wants to know so I'm going to tell her when we go to the hospital. I guess it's up to her if she wants to spend hours upon hours in a waiting room as I really can't stop her, but she knows that I don't want her in L&D.
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Holy crap! we JUST has this same conversation downstairs!!!! No joke. Even with regards to DH's mom and timing of visit! I sent him an email on Facebook about it and we had a nice chat.
Your DH needs to work on her. We came to an agreement today that he can tell his mother but they are to hold off on visiting until I say I want visitors.
Our birthing center has a strict no visitors policy until parents are ready. We were also told to make a note to put on our door stating no visitors. The phone in our room will be switched off.
You should be able to have time to nurse and bond regardless of when people get to the hospital. It takes a little while to get cleaned up, nurse, and take care of things (stitches, etc.) before people come into the room anyway. You can just wait for your husband to go get the crowd in the waiting room until you've had time to nurse, bond, and get cleaned up.
They won't know that the baby's been born unless someone comes and tells them. I'm planning on showering, getting cleaned up, and nursing our LO before DH goes out of our room to tell everyone she's been born. All our family will know is that we're ready for visitors (they won't know they were waiting for a little while after the baby was born). I've waited for 20+ hours for family members to deliver, and I've never once worried about being in the room two minutes after the baby was born. I've always known the couple had some time to get ready for visitors before coming to get those that are waiting.