DH left last night. I barely slept and woke up with a really bad migraine and basically want to die. DS1 is acting up because DH is gone. He's already woken DS2, written all over his leg with a sharpie, and spit at me, and it's only 8:12 in the morning (he's only been up for half an hour). I'm starting to fear I'm going to hurt him if he keeps this up. He's in his room right now and I've somehow kept my cool, but I can feel the breaking point fast approaching and soon I'm going to be screaming my head off. Please help me figure out a way to turn this situation around. I've already tried straight up bribery to no avail. Maybe I just need a better incentive?


Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
Re: I am in serious need of some help
Throw the kids into some clothes, strap them into a stroller or a car seat and get the hell out of the house. Go for coffee and give him something completely junky to eat. I know it's the last thing you want to do, but getting yourself out of the situation will help. I know the feeling- I feel like PPD ruined my kids' infancies.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
You can do this.
DS1 probably just needs so extra hugs and kisses. I would start by acknowledging his feelings. "I'm sad that Daddy had to go away too, but he'll be back. What fun things can we do together while he's gone. Let's write him a letter or draw him a picture...etc"
Lots of hugs and kisses. As much attention as you can give (I know it's hard with a newborn, but I think it will benefit your situation in the long run.) Hang in there. You'll get through this.
ETA: and Lari's right, get the heck out of the house. It's a beautiful day for a walk. Fresh air will do you all good.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
Even if you don't get out of the car, because seriously who wants to deal with the logistics of the stroller and all that if your feeling this bad. Go to DD's get a good coffee and breakfast treat, get DS1 something too and then either drive or go park somewhere scenic.
Definitely get out of the house.
Hope you feel better!
Watermelon Coolatas and a few munchkins fix everything! ((hugs)) hang in there!
((hugs))
I so wish I could help you right now!
I think getting out of the house and going to the playground is a great idea. The days always seem to go better when we get out and do something. Anything. I hope it turns your day around.
I was going to suggest getting out of the house too!
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
Femme, pack up the little ones and head out somewhere. A park or a mall w/ a nice play area. Tire DS#1 out, feed him and hopefully take a nap. I had PPD and can relate to you so much.
You are doing the right thing by stepping away, venting here and coming up w/ a plan for the day. ((hugs)) girl. I hope that things turn around quick.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
I suggest the crafts first, so that when you throw him in the pool, it can double as a bath. LOL
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
does he like movies, femme?
Something we occasionally do when Jackson is being a real turkey and I am at the end of my rope is to have movie time - I make popcorn and we watch a movie he likes together. Generally he is enthralled so I get about 1.5 hours of peace while I can just sit there. We will turn off all the lights and pretend we're at the theater.
Hang in there!
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
I agree with this 100%!
Good luck and keep remembering this too shall pass. You'll get through it!!
I'm glad you got out. Sometimes the only thing saving my sanity is going in public so I HAVE to act like a normal human being.
DS2 has been putting me through the ringer lately and if you ever want to vent or commiserate, feel free to shoot me an email or FB message or PM or whatever. I feel like the worst mother ever these days, so I'll make you feel way better about yourself with my tales.
Parenting two children is no freaking joke and doing it alone is next to impossible. I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough spot as a single parent. I can't image how exhausted, stressed and entirely overwhelmed you feel. Most days, I count down until my H comes home so I can have ONE moment to myself and I can't imagine not having that.
Do you have any friends in the area that could take DS1? If not, then I'd say get the hell out of your house. You'll be less tempted to lose it on him if you're out in public, and maybe you could all use a change of scenery.
Good luck. I remember those days very well still.
I am way late on this one, but I wanted to throw out a suggestion per my pedi as I was in your EXACT same shoes a few months back.
Whenever it is the three of you alone and DS1 is acting up (usually in response to you having to deal with DS2), let DS1 know that you are just as frustrated. Say something along the lines of, "I know this REALLY is no fun right now, but in 15 minutes, DS2 is going to take a nap and then we can do something really fun together. In the meantime, why don't we read a book/watch a movie/some sort of quick entertainment that you can do mostly hands-free together?" Your DS1 will never know how long 15 minutes is, whether it is just 15 minutes or an hour. However, you do know that DS2 will nap at some point, and make it a point yourself to really enjoy that one-on-one time with DS1. I ended up really bonding with my son during those times when my youngest was sleeping.
I know this time is so, so hard, and wish you the best of luck. There were definitely times when all three of us were sobbing, and that's ok! You will get through this.