GAH!!! DH VENT!!

Lately I've been feeling really smothered by my kids and my husband.  It seems like we are constantly together and doing everything together.  Keep in mind that DH works from home and I SAH so I literally mean we are together ALL.THE.TIME.

I've been all but begging him to take the kids for an afternoon or something so I could have some down time at the house to myself.   I just wanted a significant amount of time where I wasn't hearing "mommy" a thousand times a minute and having to stop everything to tend to a crying baby.  I've always been the kind of person that needed alone time and with 2 kids there is just less opportunity to have that time.  Plus, I've realized that I'm responsible for both kids, by myself, a majority of the time while DH has only had to tend to both kids alone a handful of times.  That imbalance is really getting to me and I feel like he needs to be solely responsible for both kids a little more often.

It's been getting increasingly frustrating because despite communicating with my husband properly, he just isn't giving me that time.  When I've said "I'm going to run out and go shopping" he comes up with reasons for all of us to go.  When I've said "I'm going to go workout" he proposes taking the kids and checking them into child watch so we can work out together.  I know I should have stood my ground and told him no during those times but out of guilt, I didn't.  But given that I've been telling him what I needed, he should have known better than to even ask!!

He's getting ready to go out of town for all of next week so I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I wanted today to myself.  I have schoolwork to do and since tomorrow's Father's Day, I can't do it (schoolwork or alone time) on Sunday because we'll be busy. 

So he takes the oldest to her swim lessons this morning (takes the youngest with him, at least) but brings them back home as soon as swim is over.  Then he starts working on replacing the broken lock on our back door so I ended up entertaining our oldest while he did that (youngest was sleeping at the time).  The youngest wakes up and as she does, the oldest starts melting so he takes her to her room for quiet time. He then comes back to the room I'm in and plays with the youngest. The oldest was supposed to have quiet time in her room for 1.5 hours. As she's nearing the end of her time, DH starts to work on a kitchen cabinet that is broken, leaving me to take care of the youngest.  He then says he needs to go to the hardware store and "would it be OK if the oldest stayed here with you."  I finally lost it on him and asked him when I was going to get my alone time for the day that I've asked for.  He says "well I got out of the house this morning when I took both kids to swim lessons."  I rolled my eyes (mature, I know but I've tried everything else to get through to him) and said sarcastically  "yup, that hour makes me feel all better!!"  I proceeded to lay into him a bit and he gets mad and stomps up the stairs to tell the oldest to "come on."  As they come downstairs she asks "where are we going" and he grumpily says "we're just leaving."  GRRRRR..........

I know that today could have probably gone better had I kept to myself in my bedroom but 1.  in the past that hasn't worked as the oldest still comes barreling in and I still hear all the activity in the house and feel like I should be helping.  2.  I specifically asked that I could stay home while they leave.  It would be good for the kids to get out of the house and seeing as it's summer, there's an awful lot of outside activities they could do. 

I just don't know what else I can do to make him understand my needs.  I've never been one to keep quiet and hope he can read my mind about what I want.  I have communicated with him openly and clearly about things and he still doesn't get it.  Which to me sends the message that he just doesn't care.  I'm so frustrated....