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PPD before baby?

MrsMommyQMrsMommyQ member
in Postpartum Depression

Hi Ladies. This is my first post over here and I need some words of wisdom :)

I'm due in about 5 weeks and yesterday--all of a sudden--I started having really bad anxiety. DH and I were coming home from dinner and I was innocently thinking about how LO would be here before our 2nd wedding anniversary. Then that thought spiraled into "oh my gosh it's too soon to have a baby"...which is NOT at all how I really feel. I dont think it's too soon--DH and I are both 30, are financially prepared, have accomplished a lot together, travelled etc.

But once that thought was in my head, other HORRIBLE, untrue ones started popping in. What if LO dies? What if something I do causes her to die? What if I'm a bad mother and don't want her? It almost turned into a full fledged panic attack. The hardest part is that NONE of these thoughts are true. I am so excited to be a mom and I love LO so much already. I told DH about it and he was very supportive and told me that we all have irrational thoughts at times, which made me feel better.

I slept fine, which is good, but every time I woke up to pee the horrible thoughts were right there waiting. Today has been better...it hasn't happened nearly as much. has anyone else experienced this? I'm at a loss for what to do. Maybe subconsciously I'm scared that she'll be here very soon and this is my way of dealing with that fear?

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Re: PPD before baby?

  • dianadoyle88dianadoyle88

    i think those types of thoughts are fairly normal. I know I had them... not to the point of considering it a "panic/anxiety" attack... but i definitely have had my doubts and negative thoughts the last few weeks. 

    I've been having a lot of bad dreams, too. Sometimes, i'll drop the baby. once i froze the baby. a lot of dreams about my husband's exwife. wierd stuff that's nothing to worry about in reality, but can certainly be disturbing.

     i usually share my bad dreams with my husband immediately after and he'll comfort me. 

    good luck! i hope you feel better.

     also, it's good to have a nice, long cry every once in a while. even if for no reason... i'm sure i can't be the only person that thinks that. :-) 

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  • LizzBeeLizzBee

    I as well have been have some possible ppd before my baby arrives also. And it scares me to think that if this is happening before the baby arrives then am I deff going to have real PPD after he gets here? Which causes more anxiety. I am 38 weeks and its insane feeling just stating that fact. I have had similar fears but not to the point of panic attack, with me I notice I get very deppressed and cry a LOT usually when I'm tired. But occasionally it just happens.

    My reasons are more with feeling like he will never come out, and when he does I wont be ready. Recently the majority of my depression has been because I am SO uncomfortable, I've gained 54 pounds this pregnancy and am worried about finances. I hope this gave you more of a rounded perspective that your not alone at all, and if it's not normal then we are both screwy!

     

    =]

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