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3rd Trimester
Parent Directed Feeding?
I'm reading BabyWise right now and wondered if anyone has used the PDF method or is planning on using it? I'm not 100% set on it yet, so I'd love to hear thoughts/opinions/experiences.
Thanks.
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Re: Parent Directed Feeding?
Yes, we're planning to go with this in general. My DH generally followed this with his son (my stepson, who is now 12) and it worked well. One thing I found interesting after reading this book - it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. I'm not like a total BabyWise disciple or anything but I had heard so many negative things and it really wasn't the hyper-scheduling stuff it was made out to be, at least in my opinion.
No, I won't be attempting to feed on a schedule anytime soon after baby is born. I think that trying to establish a schedule too soon is a surefire way to undermine BFing very quickly.
I read most of BabyWise when I had DS and think that it is bunk and can't believe that anyone thinks those methods are best for raising happy healthy children...but that is just my opinion.
No, you still recognize true hunger cries and cues. That's one of the things I thought was a big misconception - it is not about a strict feeding schedule and in fact discusses a strict schedule (calls it "hyperscheduling") and recommends against this. Instead, it does what I would think a lot of parents do without necessarily realizing it is what they are doing. They recommend a routine feedings but within a flexible time frame. In other words, feed your baby approximately every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, but also that there may be less and sometimes slightly more time between feedings. And Babywise does recommend an average of I think around 8-10 feedings a day which is similar to the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation of 8-12 feedings a day.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
The problem with this type of scheduling is that it doesn't allow for cluster feeding (totally normal developmentally and necessary for BFing supply and demand relationships) and for first time parents they can really get caught up in the necessity of the "schedule" and teach themselves to ignore or never really understand hunger cries/cues. I have read, I can't even tell you how many, horror stories about malnourished babies or failure to thrive babies who had parents who subscribed to the BabyWise methods early on.
I'm 100% opposed to what Babywise teaches. I read it after a friend suggested it, but I am very much opposed to forcing a baby onto a schedule. After doing more research, I found out that the writers of Babywise have no medical background and that it has been linked to infant failure to thrive, starvation, and malnutrition. A group of physicians did research on it and found 11 different areas that are not supported by conventional modern medical practice. There are lots of people out there that feel Babywise is similar to child abuse. I'm not that extreme, but it just did not sit well with my maternal instincts. Here's a link to an article about this if you're interested... https://www.ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm.
I liked the Dr. Sears books better, which are written by an actual medical doctor. They acknowledge that a baby needs a routine, but to follow baby's cues for when to feed. This just fits better with my parenting style and my mothering instinct.
I hesitated to respond because I don't want to debate - I genuinely think it is a parenting decision and everyone should feed their child as they see fit so please don't interpret me responding as trying to convince anyone of any one style. However, I did read this book and jsut wanted to respond as far as what I factually read in this book, not in an attempt to convince anyone to follow it. I won't follow 100% of everything in this book myself either.
So, this book wouldn't tell you not to feed your hungry baby when it's been only an hour since her last feeding either. There's even a specific examples discussing a 2 and 3 week old who cries 1 hour after a feeding and seems hungry; Babywise says to 'feed him.' That's why I was suprised once I actually read the book and why I think it might be a bit closer to what people actually do than they realize. I thought it was all schedule, schedule, schedule and it is not. It is much more of here's a general schedule but implement it as a thinking person, knowing when to deviate from it. That said - feed your child how you best see fit.
I don't like this methodology at all. This can lead to failure to thrive, because if a baby cries because he's hungry and doesn't get fed, then he learns not to cry when he's hungry, becuase his needs won't be met. An infant's metabolism is constantly changing as they grow, requiring more or less frequent feedings or cluster feeding. This, in turn, cues mother's body to produce the right amounts and type of milk to feed LO. Our milk adapts to what the baby needs.
We used PDF/Babywise with DS and it worked wonderfully. We followed their recommendations (feed on demand for the first week to ten days, then move to a 2 1/2 to 3 hour schedule - OR sooner if baby is hungry, cluster feeding is OK and recommended/expected at certain ages!), and our now 19 month old continues to be healthy & thriving. It worked so well for us, because after a few weeks we were on a good routine - we new what to expect and DS knew what to expect in our day. We will use PDF again for our next child.
I think there are a lot of misconceptions with the book, it's been re-written since it 1st got slammed. One thing to keep in mind is that it's a guide, not a rule. Use your head and trust your gut (i.e., don't go solely by the clock) - and get help/advice from those with experience when you need it. In the end, do what's best for you and your family. I know many people who did PDF and many people who fed on demand - and all the children are happy, well adjusted, thriving, smart, etc.
I had a love/hate relationship with BabyWise. I loved the part on parent directed feeding...the parts about feed/play/sleep. That being said, we burned the book by the end of the first six months. I totally felt like it gave us completely unrealistic expectations on sleep. Our son was NOT a sleeper. He didn't sleep through the night until he was over a year and had a period around six months where he was waking up every 45 min for about six weeks. It. was. miserable.
I felt like we were harder on him than necessary because BabyWise had us believing that he would be STTN at 12 wks. That's bullshit. Sometimes you just end up with a kid that is not a sleeper.