Boston Babies

Gay and Pregnant

Hi ladies. I'm just over seven weeks pregnant and a lesbian. Though my wife and I are so excited about our growing family, I'm a bit worried about the heterosexual norms that consume everything baby related. We knew having a family would be challenging for us, but now that we're expecting, these anxieties are becoming very real. I'm hoping for any advice from mothers out there on how to handle the constant 'daddy' comments, the misconceptions about gay and lesbian families, and just first time mom advice. Thanks for the help!

Re: Gay and Pregnant

  • Congratulations! 

    During pregnancy and motherhood you're going to get a lot of strange or annoying comments, and not just about 'daddy' it seems that pregnancy and having a baby with you when you're out gives people free reign to voice their opinions on everything from how big you are to how you should be parenting your child.  I guess the best advice I have is try not to take any of it to heart.  They will be strangers that don't know a thing about you for the most part and hopefully the people close to you are wonderful and supportive!  Maybe there is a gay and lesbian parent support group in your area that would have more specific advice on dealing with any challenges that might come up related to your family structure.

    DS1 6/07
    DS2 (born at home) 7/09
    DD1 (born at home) 1/12
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  • Thanks so much for the wonderful wisdom and advice. I really appreciate it. Happy Friday!
  • CONGRATS!! I know a lesbian couple who have a 7 month old little girl.  I am not super good friends with them but from what I have seen they are very up front with everyone and haven't encountered any real issues yet.  I would def. check out the LGBT forum on here for other points of view. 
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  • Congrats and good luck!  There are no filters when people talk to pregnant women.  Where are you delivering?

    I am gay and will be starting inseminations in August.  

  • Thanks so much for the support. I'm going to deliver at Beverly Hospital, as I'm living on the North Shore now. When are you starting your inseminations? I used the RSC and can't say enough about it, but also have friends that used the Fenway Center.
  • I love Newburyport!  I grew up in Hamilton.

    We are using the Alternative Insemination Center of Greater Boston (AICGB) and will likely then transfer to the Midwives of Mount Auburn.  I need to get a surgery done before we can start so it is looking like August or September.

  • congrats!! I grew up without a father and let me say I would rather have 2 moms anyday. Personally I don;t think people should be asking question like that because that is a very personal matter. its not different then a single mom raising a child. your baby has 2 loving parents and that is all that matters. Do either of you have any brothers?  if you want to have a male figure more present in you life then maybe just have the child spend more time with them.
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