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Military Families
XP: What you didn't/don't know: deployment edition
Hi all! I'm normally over on Military Nesties on TN, but I thought you girls (any boys?) might be able to help out with this little project as well! Any answers you can give would be greatly appreciated!
Our Key Spouse group for our squadron is working on a list of questions/concerns we didn't know the answers to on our first deployment go round, but of course now that we've been through it at least once (well, two out of three of us have) it's hard for us to remember what we DIDN'T know that first time or what our biggest concerns were (minus the obvious one we won't mention).
For those of you who have done it, what do you remember wondering/still wonder about perhaps about deployments? What concerns were there that you can remember?
For those of you who haven't done it, what questions would you like addressed before deployment and what concerns do you/would you have?
We'll be compiling the answers into a packet we're giving spouses at the pre-deployment picnic coming up along with our contact information and other important contact information they should know for the area (like the police and fire departments) as well as for base. We'll also be including safety tips and the address for our squadron FB page. Obviously we won't be addressing 500 questions, but once we can see what the hot topics are, it'll give us some direction.
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Re: XP: What you didn't/don't know: deployment edition
I don't know if this really fits what you're looking for, but one of the things I tell our new wives is to get POA's for EVERYTHING. Most think they just need a simple general POA and that will cover whatever they need it to. Nope. You need every account that is not solely in your name listed seperately on your POA (checking/savings, credit cards, vehicle and student loans, home loans, etc). If, God forbid, something happens to your spouse, if you do not have a specific POA for that account, even if it's joint, it will be frozen until everything is sorted out and you will not be able to touch any of your funds. We had a wife in our troop find that out the hard way during DH's second deployment.
You also need a seperate POA for DEERS, especially if you have a child coming or will need a new ID before the deployment is up.
Also, double check wills and life insurance policies before they leave to make sure there are no mistakes, and that it's been updated if necessary since the last deployment (if there was one). All of this should be done during processing, but it's good to look over it at home too.
I found that counting down is much less intimidating if you pick something that only happens once a week or month. Instead of counting down 365 days, I count down 52 trash days. Much smaller number.
Keep your information updated with the FRG. This is VERY important. Once again if, God forbid, something happens, the address and phone numbers listed with the FRG will be one of the first places they look for you. If you go on a vacation that will last longer than a few days, make sure they know when and where you will be. Always make sure that they can find you.
Also, many credit companies will lower your interest rates during a deployment. I think they technically only HAVE to if you're guard going active for a deployment, but many will do it for regular AD as well. You usually just have to call them and explain the situation, and they'll ask you to fax in a copy of your orders as proof. Star Card will either drop your interest rate to 0% or waive your payments for the entire time (maybe both now, I don't remember the details).
If they're going to have Hooah Mail (or a similar program) available, pass out the details for that.
I just lurk over here occaisonally...but I have to say...your siggy pic is absolutely ADORABLE!!
Thank you! What is Hooah Mail?
From what I understand (I only heard about it at our last FRG meeting... never used it before), it's a program where you send email-type messages that are printed out on the other end and sent to the soldier as letters. Supposedly no one is able to read them because they come out of the printers folded, and they say it's just as secure as sending a regular letter through the postal system, but obviously it gets there a lot faster. I think other branches have similar systems, depending on where they're being sent.
I am a guard wife and will be facing our first deployment soon. One of my questions would be about R&R- do we have a choice in dates and when do we find out what the dates will be?
I also have questions about communication- how often will DH get to call, will he be able to get his own cell phone, etc.
Oh, also while I'm thinking about it, make sure that the spouses left behind know who to call, or how to fix the situation, if the water pipe in their house bursts, or the car breaks down, etc. Things that seem simple, but that may usually be handled by the SM, can be difficult to handle if you're already stressed from a separation, and not sure where to start. Basically the SM and their spouse need to sit down and go over all the what-if's that could happen during a deployment, even down to where to get an oil change, and how often, if the spouse doesn't normally handle that.
It's also a good idea to have a friend or family member that you trust in the area have an extra set of your house and car keys. I know if I lock myself out of the car I can call my husband to come let me in when he's available, but that's not an option during a deployment, and locksmiths are pricey.
If I think of more things I'll add them. Also, I think USAA has a really good checklist of predeployment tasks on their website. You can probably find them other places online as well.
One thing that a lot of wives didn't know during our deployment was that if you have credit cards either in the soldiers name or jointly, you can call and get an interest rate reduction while they are gone. Some (like Bank of America) offered no late fee's or required no minimum payments to be made as well. Each one is different and not all of them offer things like that, but it's worth asking if you have debt. Make sure you have the POA's though!
One thing I did that made things a little easier for him to call home was photocopying a phone card that I sent him so I had the code on hand. As the minutes got used up I could call and add more/check the balance so he didn't have to worry about buying a new card or running out of minutes.
I know what you mean. I've been a guard wife for 4 years now and had never heard of OPSEC until I read about it on the nest. To this day DH's unit has never given families any information as far as I know. They send out an email newsletter to the soldiers once in a while, but I never see it b/c it goes to DH's army email account. What I have seen in there was nothing to do with me anyway. They have a "family day" once per year, but it is just a social picnic with games for kids.
Unfortunately, there are no easy answers to any of these questions. The level of communication he'll be able to have with you is dependent on where he's going and what job he'll be doing, among other factors. That is something you will definitely have to talk to your DH about - if he even knows!
As far as R&R, usually there is a time window for it and the guys put in for leave and that request is taken in to consideration in the pile of R&R based upon special circumstances, rank, other people's leave (because a certain staffing level has to be maintained), how early he put it for it, etc. You should have a reasonable amount of notice, but things can change at the drop of a hat. I know of many a spouses whose R&R was supposed to start on x date, but didn't start till days later because of x, y, or z.
My little angel RIP August 12, 2010 - September 5, 2010