SAHM vs WAHM/WM

JesykaC21 · June 2010

here's the deal... unless you have been in someone else's situation, taking care of their house and child, you can't say which is easier. coming from a SAHM, I don't judge WM. If they can work AND get everything done around the house - more props to you!!! if you are making that statement based on what you HEAR from your friends... well, then make your opinion on WAHM/SAHM/WM whatever on THEM please. you cannot lump everyone all together.

JMHO.

:::sneaks back over to 6-9 whispering 'see you soon!!!':::

kit443 · June 2010

Thank you for enlightening us.

LauranBilly · June 2010

Okay....

fairychick77 · June 2010

Thank god we had your input on this. My day is complete.

JesykaC21 · June 2010

Glad I could help! ;-)

groovygrl · June 2010

It's such an old & stupid debate. They're hard in different ways. I do both since I teach & the hard factors are completely different.

Not to mention it depends on your job's flexibility/hours/physical requirements/fulfillment for you, etc; your husband's job/hours/travel & involvement; your finances for things like cleaning help, babysitting help, classes & activities; whether you have family or friends nearby who help, blah blah blah. There's no way to compare individual situations & to argue over who has it harder is such a waste of energy & time.

It's freakin hard to be a mom regardless of what your days look like, unless maybe you have a full time nanny and you don't work & just do whatever seems fun that day. I think I'd argue that is easier than the others.

JesykaC21 · June 2010

groovygrl:
It's such an old & stupid debate. They're hard in different ways. I do both since I teach & the hard factors are completely different.
Not to mention it depends on your job's flexibility/hours/physical requirements/fulfillment for you, etc; your husband's job/hours/travel & involvement; your finances for things like cleaning help, babysitting help, classes & activities; whether you have family or friends nearby who help, blah blah blah. There's no way to compare individual situations & to argue over who has it harder is such a waste of energy & time.
It's freakin hard to be a mom regardless of what your days look like, unless maybe you have a full time nanny and you don't work & just do whatever seems fun that day. I think I'd argue that is easier than the others.

JesykaC21 · June 2010

groovygrl:
It's such an old & stupid debate. They're hard in different ways. I do both since I teach & the hard factors are completely different.
Not to mention it depends on your job's flexibility/hours/physical requirements/fulfillment for you, etc; your husband's job/hours/travel & involvement; your finances for things like cleaning help, babysitting help, classes & activities; whether you have family or friends nearby who help, blah blah blah. There's no way to compare individual situations & to argue over who has it harder is such a waste of energy & time.
It's freakin hard to be a mom regardless of what your days look like, unless maybe you have a full time nanny and you don't work & just do whatever seems fun that day. I think I'd argue that is easier than the others.

all valid points and ITA

BengalBelle · June 2010

I highly recommend this book: Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families.

It basically outlines that we all need each other. WMs show our daughters that a woman can "have it all". SAHMs are vital in schools and any place that depends on volunteers. Spending our time judging each other instead of supporting each other costs us in the end.

And that's my puppies and rainbows input for today.

JesykaC21 · June 2010

BengalBelle:
I highly recommend this book: Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families.
It basically outlines that we all need each other. WMs show our daughters that a woman can "have it all". SAHMs are vital in schools and any place that depends on volunteers. Spending our time judging each other instead of supporting each other costs us in the end.
And that's my puppies and rainbows input for today.

thank you for the recommendation! I will remember that after I read a couple books I want to get through first. It sounds very interesting!

erino&chrish · June 2010

Okie dokie. Thanks for the soapbox speech. Now on with my WAHM day....

JesykaC21 · June 2010

whatevs. take it as it is. from the UOT thread a lot of people are just missing the point. it's not really one vs the other, everyone's situation is different. that's all.

MrsBatty · June 2010

lmao. I love these types of posts.

BitterOldHag · June 2010

I'll tell it like it is.

I was AH for 16 weeks ML. You may say this doesn't count because it was ML but Sam & Jake will give you the raspberry.

Someone was always crying, either because they needed something while I was busy with their brother or just because they felt like it. By the end of every day I was usually crying too.

I changed 20 diapers, usually. They ate every 3 hours and were horribly gassy.

There were no breaks in a 12 hour day unless by some miracle there was an overlapping nap which usually lasted 20 mins tops. Those 20 mins were spent pumping and attending to lady needs. I slept 10 minutes out of each hour at night for what was usually a grand total of 90 broken minutes.

It once took me 2.5 hours to get out of the house to take them on a 20 min walk.

It was ridiculously hard and would be harder if I had to do it now that they are mobile and constantly in each other's physical space with hitting, biting, etc.

Here is how I described it to DH, using my fave beverage.

I could grind coffee but not put it in the pot for 30 mins. I could put it in the pot but not fill the carafe for another 30. I could fill the carafe but not pour 45 mins later. I could pour but not drink 30 mins later. I could drink it cold 2 hours after that.

Start coffee at 5am. Drink it cold, 2 sips at a time beginning at 9am.

I almost went back to work a few weeks early because I thought it'd be better for them.

As a WM it's ridiculously hard to balance time/chores and job. Downtime is a joke. Kit will tell you, I usually get 20-30 mins top to myself or to spend with DH before I need to go to sleep and start all over again.

The difference for me is the financial pressure is eased and I am much less stressed knowing how much fun the boys have in DC.

SAHM, don't SAHM. I don't care. But don't say both of them aren't extremely difficult and rewarding in different ways.

JesykaC21 · June 2010

MrsBatty:
lmao. I love these types of posts.

I did it just for you Batty

:::dies at the cuteness that is Batty's DD:::

JesykaC21 · June 2010

BitterOldHag:
I'll tell it like it is.

I was AH for 16 weeks ML. You may say this doesn't count because it was ML but Sam & Jake will give you the raspberry.

Someone was always crying, either because they needed something while I was busy with their brother or just because they felt like it. By the end of every day I was usually crying too.

I changed 20 diapers, usually. They ate every 3 hours and were horribly gassy.

There were no breaks in a 12 hour day unless by some miracle there was an overlapping nap which usually lasted 20 mins tops. Those 20 mins were spent pumping and attending to lady needs. I slept 10 minutes out of each hour at night for what was usually a grand total of 90 broken minutes.

It once took me 2.5 hours to get out of the house to take them on a 20 min walk.

It was ridiculously hard and would be harder if I had to do it now that they are mobile and constantly in each other's physical space with hitting, biting, etc.

Here is how I described it to DH, using my fave beverage.

I could grind coffee but not put it in the pot for 30 mins. I could put it in the pot but not fill the carafe for another 30. I could fill the carafe but not pour 45 mins later. I could pour but not drink 30 mins later. I could drink it cold 2 hours after that.

Start coffee at 5am. Drink it cold, 2 sips at a time beginning at 9am.

I almost went back to work a few weeks early because I thought it'd be better for them.

As a WM it's ridiculously hard to balance time/chores and job. Downtime is a joke. Kit will tell you, I usually get 20-30 mins top to myself or to spend with DH before I need to go to sleep and start all over again.

The difference for me is the financial pressure is eased and I am much less stressed knowing how much fun the boys have in DC.

SAHM, don't SAHM. I don't care. But don't say both of them aren't extremely difficult and rewarding in different ways.

amen, and amen. I give props to WM, but I give MAJOR props to Momma's of multiples!!!!!

mavilabride · June 2010

This post is full of winnie-wins. Fiesta!

JesykaC21 · June 2010

mavilabride:
This post is full of winnie-wins. Fiesta!

:::waves::: Hi Mav!!!!

Jacques715 · June 2010

Not to mention it depends on your job's flexibility/hours/physical requirements/fulfillment for you, etc; your husband's job/hours/travel & involvement; your finances for things like cleaning help, babysitting help, classes & activities; whether you have family or friends nearby who help, blah blah blah. There's no way to compare individual situations & to argue over who has it harder is such a waste of energy & time.

You are 100% correct. I guess when I made the comment in the UT I was not thinking about all the factors such as the ones you mention above.

Very valid point you make.

JesykaC21 · June 2010

Jacques715:

Not to mention it depends on your job's flexibility/hours/physical requirements/fulfillment for you, etc; your husband's job/hours/travel & involvement; your finances for things like cleaning help, babysitting help, classes & activities; whether you have family or friends nearby who help, blah blah blah. There's no way to compare individual situations & to argue over who has it harder is such a waste of energy & time.

You are 100% correct. I guess when I made the comment in the UT I was not thinking about all the factors such as the ones you mention above.

Very valid point you make.

I was by no means calling you out personally, there have certainly been many others referencing their friends/family when comparing "mom life". I just think if we all keep in mind that everyone has different situations it would be less debateable (sp?). Not to get all P&R ;-)

Want a personalized experience?

SAHM vs WAHM/WM

Re: SAHM vs WAHM/WM

Choose Another Board

Search Boards