Unemployed and TTC

EmandChris08 · June 2010

Hi all! I am new here, but I've been lurking for awhile :-)

My DH and I have been married for almost 2 years and have been together for almost 11 (we're high school sweethearts). We've been talking about TTC for awhile and we're definitely ready to start a family.

The only problem is, my work situation isn't cooperating with our future plans. I am a high school teacher and at the end of last school year, I lost my teaching job. Teaching positions in my area are pretty scarce due to the economy, so I wasn't able to find a new job for this past school year. I ended up taking a long term sub position for 4 months, and the remainder of the school year I've been collecting unemployment while looking for another job.

The school where I was a long term sub this year has an opening for next year, and I think I have a pretty good shot at it. I have an interview scheduled for later this week. The only problem is, the position is only guaranteed for one year and therefore it wouldn't be a regular contracted position (probably per diem rather than salary, which means probably not eligible for FMLA?) But if I get offered the job, I will definitely take it, because I love the district, there is potential for it to continue after the 1 year, and because frankly, there aren't a lot of other jobs out there.

We want to start TTC within the next few months but I worry about the uncertainty of our financial situation right now. Deep down, I know that there is never a *perfect* time to start a family, and that nothing is ever certain. But still, this is not how I envisioned the beginning of my marriage and career working out... this economy has definitely screwed up our plans a little.

Just wondering if there is anyone else out there whose plans to start a family have been effected by the economy and if so, how did you handle it?

amandaloren · June 2010

It is true, there is never a perfect time to start a family. But having said that I would not start unless I had insurance. So if your husband doesn't have yall covered then I would hold off. But if you do have insurance then I would start ttc. We haven't started ttc yet (not till Sept.) but when we do we will still have tons of bills to pay off and will be working on building our savings back up. But we know we would have enough to get by which is why we decided to start then. Good luck!

jiffy-pop · June 2010

Just wanted to say welcome and good luck! My DH and I have been together for over 9 years and we have been married for 2 years. We have been TTC for 10 months/cycles.

jc51723 · June 2010

My job is unstable as well -- I work for a nonprofit and depend on grant money to pay my salary. We are not putting a hold on TTC because of this, although it is unsettling. We are just working on paying a few things off/down -- just paid off my car and a few other credit cards. Luckily my husband has a pretty stable job and makes decent money at it. It would be ideal for me to keep my job, obviously, but we would be ok on just my husband's income.

What does your DH do?

pinkflipflops44 · June 2010

I am also a teacher without a position. It's not affecting our decision.

KdgTeacher · June 2010

Honestly, I think I'd wait. While a job for a year is awesome, I think I'd do my best to save money during that time. Not only is a finite job in your very near future, but have you thought about insurance for you and your phantom child? If you get KU right now you'd be due in March which means you would not be able to finish out the year and miss out on AT LEAST 2 months of income.

jteneback · June 2010

I agree there is often no "perfect" time, but you need to figure out how a pregnancy will affect your work, or how you will get by without an income if this job doesn't pan out. You may want to at least wait until you are looking at June due dates so that you can finish the one year (if you get it), and save as much as you can in the meantime.

kscarlett5683 · June 2010

How old are you? I don't mean this in a snarky way, but I think my answer would depend on that.

If you are in your early - late 20's, I'd say wait to TTC until you are on solid ground. Medically, you have time.

If you are in your 30's, I'd say go for it -- I might get flamed for this, but this could fall under the category of "now or never" and, as a professional, even if this job didn't work out, I'm sure you will find something else eventually. Economies don't STAY bad and I guess I'm an optimistic person. I have lost jobs in the past and I have been blessed to bounce back...I would take the chance.

Of course, if you are aware of some particular medical issue that could mean trying could take a long time or there is some other factor I'm not aware of, that could be a game changer.

Welcome and good luck.

P.S. I'd like to add that insurance is extremely important --- get insurance before you get KU. That is mandatory because medical expenses are big!

sapphire513 · June 2010

Does your DH have a secure job that provides health insurance for your family? Can you meet your expenses and those of a baby on his salary? If so, that is a good start. I am in a similar situation now- I'm at a job that I hate with great maternity leave benefits. Part of me hopes I'll get pregnant now and then I would just suck it up for 9 months, take the ML (3 months full pay, plus NJ FMLA pay) and then quit and find something else. But I know that TTC can take awhile, esp with my long cycles, and I shouldn't stay in a job I hate for an undetermined amount of time just hoping to get KU. I am leaning towards taking a lower paying position or temp job just to get away with the stress of my current job, even though it will mean no maternity leave pay, b/c that will be better for our family right now.

There is no perfect time to start a family, and TTC is one thing you can't control, even if you chart and do "everything right." I think you and your DH need to communicate about all the possible situations you would face and how you would handle them together. Best of luck to you!!

EmandChris08 · June 2010

Thanks for the comments and advice, everyone!

DH has a good, stable job and makes decent money, but we wouldn't be able to support a family on just his salary without some major budgeting. We can get insurance through his job but I'd definitely prefer the insurance I can get as a teacher. I'm not sure whether this position I'm going for will provide insurance... I'll ask at the interview.

If I do get the one yr position we would start TTC in Aug/September to aim for at due date at the end of the school year/beginning of summer, but I am fully aware that things may not go according to plan (as it is, the job situation already hasn't!)

Hopefully we'll find a way to make it all work out!

Heather & Nayt · June 2010

KdgTeacher:
Honestly, I think I'd wait. While a job for a year is awesome, I think I'd do my best to save money during that time. Not only is a finite job in your very near future, but have you thought about insurance for you and your phantom child? If you get KU right now you'd be due in March which means you would not be able to finish out the year and miss out on AT LEAST 2 months of income.

This. Unless age is a huge factor in needing to get KU now, I would wait. And while yes, it can take a normal healthy couple 6 month to a year to have a baby, you might be one of the lucky ones who gets KU right away.

I can say all this from personal experience, My son was a huge suprise for us, we has planned on ttc for 6 month or so. We were SO not ready and unprepared when it happened. And while yes, he is a huge blessing and I wouldn't change if for the world, we had to make alot of sacrafices to make it work, and the stress of lack of good income was not healthy for me during the nine months. This time around, I know we have a steady income and can provide the way I want too.

But its your family, and no one can tell you what to do. Either way, welcome to the board, start tracking your temps (check out fertilityfriend.com though one of our tickers) and GL with what ever you decide!

Heather & Nayt · June 2010

KdgTeacher:
Honestly, I think I'd wait. While a job for a year is awesome, I think I'd do my best to save money during that time. Not only is a finite job in your very near future, but have you thought about insurance for you and your phantom child? If you get KU right now you'd be due in March which means you would not be able to finish out the year and miss out on AT LEAST 2 months of income.

This. Unless age is a huge factor in needing to get KU now, I would wait. And while yes, it can take a normal healthy couple 6 month to a year to have a baby, you might be one of the lucky ones who gets KU right away.

I can say all this from personal experience, My son was a huge suprise for us, we has planned on ttc for 6 month or so. We were SO not ready and unprepared when it happened. And while yes, he is a huge blessing and I wouldn't change if for the world, we had to make alot of sacrafices to make it work, and the stress of lack of good income was not healthy for me during the nine months. This time around, I know we have a steady income and can provide the way I want too.

But its your family, and no one can tell you what to do. Either way, welcome to the board, start tracking your temps (check out fertilityfriend.com though one of our tickers) and GL with what ever you decide!

Heather & Nayt · June 2010

KdgTeacher:
Honestly, I think I'd wait. While a job for a year is awesome, I think I'd do my best to save money during that time. Not only is a finite job in your very near future, but have you thought about insurance for you and your phantom child? If you get KU right now you'd be due in March which means you would not be able to finish out the year and miss out on AT LEAST 2 months of income.

This. Unless age is a huge factor in needing to get KU now, I would wait. And while yes, it can take a normal healthy couple 6 month to a year to have a baby, you might be one of the lucky ones who gets KU right away.

I can say all this from personal experience, My son was a huge suprise for us, we has planned on ttc for 6 month or so. We were SO not ready and unprepared when it happened. And while yes, he is a huge blessing and I wouldn't change if for the world, we had to make alot of sacrafices to make it work, and the stress of lack of good income was not healthy for me during the nine months. This time around, I know we have a steady income and can provide the way I want too.

But its your family, and no one can tell you what to do. Either way, welcome to the board, start tracking your temps (check out fertilityfriend.com though one of our tickers) and GL with what ever you decide!

MrsMarriedIn04 · June 2010

Ours went in a downward spiral end of last year, so we've had to put TTC on hold. We are without insurance at the moment too, so TTC and no insurance= no way for us! Dh is in the middle of trying to get a promotion and hopes to be in a position by next year. I am hoping we don't have to put it off any longer than we already have! We've had to build our jobs back up due to the economy and lay offs. It sucks, but we are doing what we have to do and a baby will have to wait a little bit longer.

Ya Never Know · June 2010

You're not alone. I may be unemployed in about 4 months from now since I'm working in a term position, and that scares the crap out of me. The only advice I can offer, is save up what you can, while you can. If you live in the U.S., then I would say, take the other posters' advice, and make sure you have health insurance too. In my situation, DH doesn't want us to wait to TTC, and if I don't get a renewal, we are both aware that DH might have to get a second job, and I'd have to try to pick up more work in my freelance biz.

EmandChris08 · June 2010

Thanks for the advice, ladies!

I'm only 26 so we're definitely not at the "now or never" stage yet.

I've been off the pill for a year (still TTA though, using condoms). I've been using FF to track my cycles.

We're uninsured now but we can get insurance through DH's work. Open enrollment is in Aug. so we're planning to wait and see whether I get hired somewhere (and if I do, whether we'll be covered.) If not, we'll definitely sign on for insurance through his work before we TTC. I definitely do not want to have a baby without insurance!!

KdgTeacher · June 2010

EmandChris08:

Thanks for the advice, ladies!

I'm only 26 so we're definitely not at the "now or never" stage yet.

I've been off the pill for a year (still TTA though, using condoms). I've been using FF to track my cycles.

We're uninsured now but we can get insurance through DH's work. Open enrollment is in Aug. so we're planning to wait and see whether I get hired somewhere (and if I do, whether we'll be covered.) If not, we'll definitely sign on for insurance through his work before we TTC. I definitely do not want to have a baby without insurance!!

Not to throw another wrench in your "plan", but I'd look into how much this is going to cost your DH. If your DH is already borderline on being able to support you two, and he DOES NOT have insurnace taken out of his check that'll hit his take home pay amount a LOT more. I know if I added DH on my plan it is about $200/month and that is WITH my employer paying HALF!

soontobemrsdavis · June 2010

That is the primary reason why we are waiting. Currently syn is in school and not working. He could defintely get a job to make it work but since he can get his MA and PHD for free it just makes more sense for him to go to school full time now so that he can be done quicker.

I am the type that says "oh it is ok we can still try and save and struggle a little" but in reality it will be best for us to wait. I know it may seem hard to wait but in the long run it will be better.

SweetP Mare · June 2010

Here are my two cents:

DH and I have been living together for 5 years, married for 3 and gainfully employed during our entire relationship. We decided to start TTC about two months before DH lost his job. Now, every situation is different and what works for me might not work for you...having said that, we've continued to TTC regardless of his job situation because I still have my job and we are covered by my health insurance. Frankly, even if you're in the best situation you have no guarantee of a job (trust me, DH was assured weekly his position was stable and then his entire department was dismantled from one day to the next), so I'd say go for it if you feel comfortable with that decision. Even if you don't find a job teaching, you might be able to find some other full-time job that might be as rewarding (emotionally/professionally/financially) even if that seems unlikely at this very moment. Either way, good luck to you and I hope you guys are able to sort stuff out. Smile

Citygirl1015 · June 2010

EmandChris08:

Thanks for the advice, ladies!

I'm only 26 so we're definitely not at the "now or never" stage yet.

I've been off the pill for a year (still TTA though, using condoms). I've been using FF to track my cycles.

We're uninsured now but we can get insurance through DH's work. Open enrollment is in Aug. so we're planning to wait and see whether I get hired somewhere (and if I do, whether we'll be covered.) If not, we'll definitely sign on for insurance through his work before we TTC. I definitely do not want to have a baby without insurance!!

It sounds like the earliest you might start TTC is after your DH's August open enrollmenent, which would probably put you at a May due date. This isn't far off from the end of the school year, so I would probably start trying while saving as much as possible in the meantime.

cozylittlecave · June 2010

I think many, many people are in that type of situation. DH & I have tons of student loans, a car loan, and a mortgage. At times, it *really* overwhelms me, but luckily, the degree those loans went towards gave DH a high enough paying job that we can easily cover it all while still saving too. Sometimes the monthly budget is tight, and once we do have a kid, we might be building up our emergency savings again, but if we waited for loans to be paid off/etc, we'd be waiting a *long* time.

I highly agree with the above poster who mentioned insurance. If you're covered by your insurance, know your max out of pocket cost. In the worst case scenario, that's what you're looking at & should be prepared for. For me, being pretty religious, we also trust in God with most of this- that He will provide (being through DH getting raises and the support of our family & church in a worst case).

I'd also do a basic rundown of costs. Figure out just how tight things would be. I know, that if we had a kid, I wasn't making any more $ selling paintings, and taxes skyrocket while DH doesn't get any raises, things would be *very, very* tight, but we'd still be able to pay our bills & save for retirement.

jennyhazz · June 2010

I'd probably wait a bit, but that's just me. I wouldn't want to get pregnant without having insurance, and knowing that I may lose my job while I may be in the middle of a pregnancy is extremely stressful.

With that said, you never know what your TTC journey may bring - you may get pregnant right away or you may have trouble and may want medical intervention. Either scenario is going to involve ensuring that you and your DH can thrive financially and emotionally - I would just caution you with that.

Best of luck with what you and your H decide, and welcome here if you do hang around!

RockThisB!tch · June 2010

My DH is going on 11 months of being laid off... we're still TTC because we have all of our other ducks in a row - we have a one-year emergency fund saved (among other, additional savings) and we're ready. We have a low mortgage and our monthly bills are pretty low and since we already know how to live on a budget, we are fine with adding a child to the mix, even if it takes him a while longer to find a new job.

Our biggest thing was, "Can we afford it?" and since we can, we're still trying.

JennyAnne022776 · June 2010

sweetP15:
Here are my two cents:
DH and I have been living together for 5 years, married for 3 and gainfully employed during our entire relationship. We decided to start TTC about two months before DH lost his job. Now, every situation is different and what works for me might not work for you...having said that, we've continued to TTC regardless of his job situation because I still have my job and we are covered by my health insurance. Frankly, even if you're in the best situation you have no guarantee of a job (trust me, DH was assured weekly his position was stable and then his entire department was dismantled from one day to the next), so I'd say go for it if you feel comfortable with that decision. Even if you don't find a job teaching, you might be able to find some other full-time job that might be as rewarding (emotionally/professionally/financially) even if that seems unlikely at this very moment. Either way, good luck to you and I hope you guys are able to sort stuff out.

This is our scenario almost exactly. DH has been unemployed for a year now, but I have been working the entire time. I have (relatively good) job security as a teacher and I am the insurance holder. No, we haven't been able to put away as much as we would have liked to in the last year, but we fall under the "now or never" category. I am 34, DH is almost 35, so we need to get things moving.

GL to you and welcome!

wordslikeswords · June 2010

My biggest thing would just be the insurance. As long as you have insurance go for it. You don't want to be going through tons of Pre-natal visits and delivery and have to pay it all OOP. Plus, some insurance companies consider pregnancy a pre-existing condition and won't add you if you're already pregnant. Usually if it's through your employer they can't, but DH's could.

My DH aren't in the best financial situation. I have a very stable government job, but I have a lot of bills and credit cards and medical bills from when I was younger, so most of our money goes straight to that. We are in a "Now or never" situation though so we went for it, and my thought is that it'll get figured out as it comes.

iluvmylab · June 2010

I would wait. I would be very worried about bringing a child into the world without stable employment. You are right, nothing is ever certain, but it getting pregnant would probably weigh less on your mind of you and DH had stable jobs, OR were perfectly comfortable making due with what you currently have. Take a look at your budget and see how much money you have left over after all the bills are paid. If you think you could support a child on it, go for it!

ProcrastinatingBride · June 2010

EmandChris08:
Thanks for the comments and advice, everyone!
DH has a good, stable job and makes decent money, but we wouldn't be able to support a family on just his salary without some major budgeting. We can get insurance through his job but I'd definitely prefer the insurance I can get as a teacher. I'm not sure whether this position I'm going for will provide insurance... I'll ask at the interview.
If I do get the one yr position we would start TTC in Aug/September to aim for at due date at the end of the school year/beginning of summer, but I am fully aware that things may not go according to plan (as it is, the job situation already hasn't!)
Hopefully we'll find a way to make it all work out!

This is a personal preference thing, but I would never ask about benefits at a first interview. That's a second-interview or once-they-make-you-an-offer question, IMO.

buckeyemom · June 2010

We put off TTC in order to move into a bigger house where we could reasonably fit. I really wanted to ttc a year from last January, but we knew if we didn't take the year to save and move that it would be several more years before we were able.

While it sucked waiting it was worth it. I say that if you are willing to sacrifice down to the basic essentials then yes go for it., but if you think that cancelling all extras (cell phone, cable, giong out to eat) would drive you crazy, then I would wait a year and really spend this year focusing on savings and then see if you are offered something more permanent. I know that sucks, but as a mom you really want to able to give your child everything they need. Unfortunately money and stability are a large part of that.

soontobemrsdavis · June 2010

EmandChris08:
Thanks for the advice, ladies!
I'm only 26 so we're definitely not at the "now or never" stage yet.
I've been off the pill for a year (still TTA though, using condoms). I've been using FF to track my cycles.
We're uninsured now but we can get insurance through DH's work. Open enrollment is in Aug. so we're planning to wait and see whether I get hired somewhere (and if I do, whether we'll be covered.) If not, we'll definitely sign on for insurance through his work before we TTC. I definitely do not want to have a baby without insurance!!

I was going to add that as well. At 26 I would have NO issue waiting at all. My impatience is primarily based on age, I'm 30. As long as you do not for see any fertility issues or complications, I would wait until you are more stable. Good Luck!

iris427 · June 2010

My husband lost his job a year ago and his current job pays him a lot less. I worry about finances too, but we are going to go ahead and TTC anyway. People with far less money and support make it work so I figure we can too. One thing you can do to save some money is cloth diaper--we have saved a lot of money that way, especially since we can resuse the diapers for our next baby. There are a lot of other ways to save when you are having a baby; there is even a book on it called Baby Bargains (if I recall correctly). You really don't need as much crap as Babies R Us says you do.

Good luck

Cassie3211 · June 2010

KdgTeacher:
EmandChris08:

Thanks for the advice, ladies!

I'm only 26 so we're definitely not at the "now or never" stage yet.

I've been off the pill for a year (still TTA though, using condoms). I've been using FF to track my cycles.

We're uninsured now but we can get insurance through DH's work. Open enrollment is in Aug. so we're planning to wait and see whether I get hired somewhere (and if I do, whether we'll be covered.) If not, we'll definitely sign on for insurance through his work before we TTC. I definitely do not want to have a baby without insurance!!

Not to throw another wrench in your "plan", but I'd look into how much this is going to cost your DH. If your DH is already borderline on being able to support you two, and he DOES NOT have insurnace taken out of his check that'll hit his take home pay amount a LOT more. I know if I added DH on my plan it is about $200/month and that is WITH my employer paying HALF!

I am in the provess of finding another job and we are halting TTC right now..( plus we are going to pay off some of our credit cards) I have a job now with good insurance I pay $100 a month for both of us and he pays 48 a month for himself.. If I would change jobs and I couldnt find a job with insuarce we would pay $500 a month for us at his job.. then we when we do KU it will go up another 60 dollars a month.. So just the crowd and hold off for a bit till you are fully insured and stable job.. Thats my recommendation!

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