Talk to me about baby shower "Wishing Wells"

jteneback · June 2010

I am invited to a shower in July and there was a note on the registry card that said "wishing well." This is new to me - I get that it's about money (tacky!) but is everyone assumed to participate? Will the mom know who gave and how much? What is a typical amount? Enlighten me, please! I am getting a nice gift and I wasn't really planning on giving cash on top of it.

tashaobrien · June 2010

A wishing well? I've never heard of it. Now, I'll have to stalk this post to see what other ladies say.

Ok...I googled it and this is what I came up with under "Baby Shower Etiquette":

Some women feel uncomfortable asking for cash gifts from baby shower guests, but setting up a wishing well is acceptable according to etiquette. It is a tactful way of requesting monetary gifts. Wishing wells work very similar to money trees in that guests can drop cash or gift cards into the wishing well, along with written good wishes for the mother and baby. It is not necessary to announce the wishing well on the shower invitations; guests can decide whether they will bring a gift along with money, money and a card, or money alone to drop into the wishing well.

Read more: Etiquette for a Baby Shower Wishing Well | eHow.com https://www.ehow.com/about_6361368_etiquette-baby-shower-wishing-well.html#ixzz0r17ihzT2

How much I give would depend on how close I am to the person that the shower is for.

kje120 · June 2010

I had never heard of that before, but I guess it makes sense. If I had already bought a gift I probably would not also give money, unless I was very close with the person.

jteneback · June 2010

Yeah, I googled it too but I guess I wanted to know what people's experiences were if they or someone they know have done it. I mean, are we talking $5? $20? More? Does it matter what you spent on the gift?

j_luvs_r · June 2010

A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.

ETA: I have never been to a shower where the wishing well was about money like the googled info in PP.

jteneback · June 2010

kestock120:
I had never heard of that before, but I guess it makes sense. If I had already bought a gift I probably would not also give money, unless I was very close with the person.

That's what I'm thinking but I don't want to be the only jerk who doesn't give anything if it's expected, especially if a nominal amount is OK.

kerrbear72 · June 2010

j_luvs_r:
A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.

This is always what I've known a wishing well to be.

You'd throw in items that normally you wouldn't wrap as part of your actual gift.

j_luvs_r · June 2010

kerrbear72:
j_luvs_r:
A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.
This is always what I've known a wishing well to be.
You'd throw in items that normally you wouldn't wrap as part of your actual gift.

Oh, good. I thought for a minute that I was crazy.

Here's a photo of a baby shower wishing well:

kje120 · June 2010

kerrbear72:

j_luvs_r:
A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.

This is always what I've known a wishing well to be.

You'd throw in items that normally you wouldn't wrap as part of your actual gift.

Oh, ok. That sounds better to me than them asking for money. Honestly I haven't been to any baby showers that had anything like that, but I think that's a cute idea.

kerrbear72 · June 2010

kestock120:
kerrbear72:

j_luvs_r:
A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.

This is always what I've known a wishing well to be.

You'd throw in items that normally you wouldn't wrap as part of your actual gift.

Oh, ok. That sounds better to me than them asking for money. Honestly I haven't been to any baby showers that had anything like that, but I think that's a cute idea.

The concept has been around for a long time. My mother had one with me and that was almost 30 years ago. I think they have died off as of recent.

Get a package of wipes and baby wash and call it done.

Jessiac_3 · June 2010

That's good to know...I haven't been to a baby shower where they did one of those (gifts or money wells) ... but then only one of my friends currently has a baby...

Thanks for sharing, ladies!

dia_jay · June 2010

Before reading everyone's post, I thought you just had to write some advice or something on a piece of paper to "wish them well!" I'm such a goof!

amdraza · June 2010

I don't know from experience, but I am guessing that they are doing it because they prefer to get money rather than gifts. In that case you would give money (as much as you would spend on the gift) and nothing else.

I was just talking to a girl at school that is pregnant and she has bought almost everything she needs at garage sales, she said that she is not having a shower and that the majority of her family is just giving her money which they will use for future expenses.

If this is the case with your friend, I think that it is totally acceptable. However, if she is expecting gifts and money, then I would say it is a little rude. If I already bought a gift, I probably would not also give money.

jteneback · June 2010

j_luvs_r:
A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.
ETA: I have never been to a shower where the wishing well was about money like the googled info in PP.

And you are from NJ so this is supremely helpful! I will assume this is what it is, thank you so much!

j_luvs_r · June 2010

jteneback:
j_luvs_r:
A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.
ETA: I have never been to a shower where the wishing well was about money like the googled info in PP.
And you are from NJ so this is supremely helpful! I will assume this is what it is, thank you so much!

:-) I have been to a ton of baby showers, ever since I was a little girl and I'd say 90% of them have had wishing wells. You can even rent those well looking things at party stores. They aren't as popular as they used to be though...the new thing is "Help Build Baby's Bookshelf".

Have fun!

BetchySprout · June 2010

j_luvs_r:

A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.

ETA: I have never been to a shower where the wishing well was about money like the googled info in PP.

Where I live they generally are about money. Ick.

And LOOK AT THAT GORGEOUS THIRD BETA!!! Big Smile

j_luvs_r · June 2010

Pattypoundcake:
j_luvs_r:

A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.

ETA: I have never been to a shower where the wishing well was about money like the googled info in PP.

Where I live they generally are about money. Ick.

And LOOK AT THAT GORGEOUS THIRD BETA!!!

That disturbs me! I like "our" kind of wishing well better.

Oh, and thank you very much. :-)

purple4u · June 2010

j_luvs_r:

A baby shower wishing well is not about money. It's usually a big basket or something of the sort that looks like a well for guests to throw in extra little gifts like diapers, wipes, rattles, pacifiers, etc. No names or wrapping are put on these gifts, so you can participate or not.

ETA: I have never been to a shower where the wishing well was about money like the googled info in PP.

This exactly, we had a wishing well for a girl at work's baby shower, but there were no other gifts since it was her 3rd baby.

cantalopes24 · June 2010

That is odd. I know I have been to baby showers where they want "well wishes" which we did at our wedding. They are cards where you write encouragement and well wishes on to be read after the baby is born (or in our case our anniversary). As far as the money grab, I'd skip it bc I wouldn't know what it is lol.

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