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Alabama Babies
mrssamuels2b
member
"Playing" with the baby...need advice(long)
mrssamuels2b
member
I have 2 nieces, ages 7 and 9, who I am super close to...the younger one is a free spirit who has been in love with Preston since before he was born. The older one really had reservations about me having someone who was more important to me than her...she never said it but started being standoffish towards me and even made a couple off color comments(her mother quickly reprimanded her)...fast forward to Preston being here...now both of them are in love with him and want to "play" with him all of the time...I try to let them hold him when they ask but I would like for them to understand that he is not to be played with...for example, they were over here the other day and I asked the oldest one to check on him as he was asleep in our bed...she didn't come back for a couple minutes so I go in to see what's going on...she has him in her arms rocking him...a sweet idea but(in my opinion) she's not ready to handle him in her arms like that...when I asked her to put him down I think her feelings were hurt...They also want to hold him all the time...even asking if they can hold him while he sleeps...I'm trying to find the balance between making them feel apart of the process and keeping my sanity...I'm a first time parent so I'm still on edge at every little thing. Should I say something? What? and to who?
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Re: "Playing" with the baby...need advice(long)
The nieces are from your sister? or your husband's side? If it were my sister- I would just tell her like it is...you tell her- it is your sister. If it is your husband's side- it can be touchy...I would get him to speak up-and talk to his sister- like it is his idea... It seem's like the niece's mom- should understand-she has children of her own... speak up- it is your baby!
I mean they have to understand- you can't go around disturbing babies... you don't wake up a sleeping baby for your entertainment. Their momma should back you up.
They are my brother's children...I don't have an issue speaking up(to anyone) it's just that I don't want to hurt my nieces feelings in the process.
Talk to your sister in law and explain to her how you feel and just ask her the best way to tell her daughter/your niece without hurting her feelings.
Sometimes it's hard for kids to understand that they can't play with babies at any old time...I had to handle a similar situation with my almost 5 year old niece. My sister in law and I together just explained to her that one day Aubrey will be big enough to play but right now she was a baby and if she is sleeping then we need to let her sleep and to not disturb her.
I then told my niece that we would have some special time to play just me and her and she seemed to really like that. It was an adjustment for her to go from me being all about just her to having to share my attention. I suspect that one day I will have a similar situation to deal with when/if Aubrey gets a little brother or sister.
Good luck!
It will get better as PJ gets older (stronger, less breakable, more interactive).
I would just keep reiterating that PJ is very delicate and they can only hold him when you're around. Also, have them "help" you change his diaper, put away his laundry, get his pacifier, etc. THey just want to be a part of it. Maybe you could take them to a store and have them pick out a special toy for PJ - a lovey or a book or something they could give him? they could read him stories, sing him songs, shake rattles, etc while he's hanging out.
And praise them when they are acting appropriately. WHen they do something that you don't approve of, just explain what you've done before, that PJ isn't quite old enough to understand their games, or that he's really small so they have to be very careful around him.