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I knew the day would come..

jarbatzjarbatz member
in Parenting after 35

when DH would suggest sexy time and today was the day and it completely caught me off guard.  He has only dropped hints a few times, which I totally skirted, and he would never get irritated about me not wanting to or anything like that.  But I am just not ready.  I just don't feel sexy or cute...I feel flabby and soft.   I actually felt more sexy when I was 8 months pregnant!! 

Do I have to wait until I lose the 30 lbs to get my desire back??  

Me-38, DH - 48 | DD born 3/17/10 | BFP 4/29/11 - M/C 5/31/11 Blighted Ovum | BFP 12/18/11 CP - 12/27/11 | Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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Re: I knew the day would come..

  • Kandie35Kandie35
    No, i think it is more of a mind frame thing. Right now you are in mommy-mode. Mommy-mode does not feel sexy - just mommyish. It is difficult to find a balance between mommy and wifey. Honestly, it has only been the past month that I have started to feel desire...and I still am soft and need to lose some more pounds - it will be one year Thursday. It is good that he is patient. Hawtie was buggin me at two weeks pp! ugh. lol.
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  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member
    I am a year out from you and 50 pounds skinnier and it does come back :-)  It is just harmonal. 
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  • NewMrs07NewMrs07 member
    It took me a good 4 months before I ever thought about sex. And another 5 before I actually got my mojo back. Sorry DH!
    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
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  • YaraCYaraC
    I think a lot of us can sympathize. I know that if I'm in a bed the only thing I really want to do is sleep. You just have to do it for them right now and hope the mojo comes back soon. It hasn't for me yet.
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  • robynlesleyrobynlesley member

    Here's a suggestion... buy something (lingerie) that makes you feel pretty NOW. Something that camouflages any "soft" areas that you're concerned about. If you feel prettier you'll hopefully feel sexier, too.

    And your DH probably doesn't notice the extra weight. He wants YOU and realizes that you had a baby and your body went through a lot.

    I'm somewhat freakish, I guess, because my sex drive never went away. There are times when exhaustion overrides it, but I had no issues with my mojo once I'd healed from delivery.

    You'll get your mojo back... (((HUG)))

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  • Kandie35Kandie35
    Oh, if you are EBF than usually your drive takes longer to return and weight loss takes longer (body keeps "reserves" just in case).
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  • fiazofiazo
    I think it was a couple of months for me. I was kind of scared it would hurt & to tell you the truth, the first few times it kind of did. Shut the lights off if you if you are feeling too self conscious. :)
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  • PeppernutPeppernut

    I live in a mojo-free zone.  :(

    I've overcome it a few times, but it was an effort.  I have no idea how we are going to have another if bed = sleeping. 

    You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image
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