S/O: Used Car Seats

MrsNicole&Brian808 · June 2010

Would you use a used car seat if you knew the previous owners?

This has been on my mind lately. For weeks now, my mom has been telling me that her work supervisor was going to give us 2 used car seats. Red flags immediately went up for me based on previous research I had done. I did not want them. They are both Britax Marathons, about 4 years old. Although I know this is a recommended brand/model, I mentioned my concerns to her and she became defensive, saying that her boss would never give us faulty/defective/unsafe car seats. *sigh* I just don't know how to handle this situation. My mom can be...difficult.

I finally saw them in person last night. They look fine, but I'm just not sure. I read today that some car seats have expiration labels. I didn't check on that last night.

My mom told me that I don't have to use them. She could just keep one in her car (for those occasions when LO will be with her and they need to drive somewhere) and give the other one to my ILs. She has a VW Rabbit and I'm wondering if the Marathon will even fit in her car.

I understand that people just want to help us out, but when it comes to a safety item like a car seat, I'm just really gunshy.

mrspresley · June 2010

I would use it if I knew the person well and they assured me that the car seat had not been in any accidents. I would not use it past the expiration though. So, find out if they've been storing them somewhere warm (like an attic) which will shorten the lifespan of the car seat and then find out what the year of manufacture is on them. Most car seats expire 5-6 years after date of manufacture and that is due to how well the plastic can hold up to heat over time. Safety first

I think Lisa in Oz had a similar situation come up with her MIL so i'm sure she'll chime in and tell you how she handled the etiquette in this type of situation

inamra · June 2010

mrspresley:
I would use it if I knew the person well and they assured me that the car seat had not been in any accidents. I would not use it past the expiration though. So, find out if they've been storing them somewhere warm (like an attic) which will shorten the lifespan of the car seat and then find out what the year of manufacture is on them. Most car seats expire 5-6 years after date of manufacture and that is due to how well the plastic can hold up to heat over time. Safety first

THIS. I actually got an used car seat but it's from someone we knew well. It hasn't been in any accidents and we trust them on that BUT it was manufactured in 1999. So that was a definite no-go because car seats only last 6 years max, for the exact reason here--because the plastic doesn't hold up over time (and heat makes it worse). Safety first. So we use that strictly as an infant carrier (fits in the stroller) and we got a new car seat for the car.

redshoegirl · June 2010

mrspresley:
I would use it if I knew the person well and they assured me that the car seat had not been in any accidents. I would not use it past the expiration though. So, find out if they've been storing them somewhere warm (like an attic) which will shorten the lifespan of the car seat and then find out what the year of manufacture is on them. Most car seats expire 5-6 years after date of manufacture and that is due to how well the plastic can hold up to heat over time. Safety first
I think Lisa in Oz had a similar situation come up with her MIL so i'm sure she'll chime in and tell you how she handled the etiquette in this type of situation

Yup, I had a similar (but worse) situation with used carseats and MIL. I would have been OK if the carseats she bought came from someone we knew well and trusted, but she bought them at a baby swap meet thingy from some totally random person. NO FREAKING WAY. Ben explained to her that carseats are like motorcycle helmets - one crash and it's trash - but she insisted that the person had said that the seats had never been in an accident, and why would they lie? *le sigh*

My solution was different to what yours will probably be: I found out that the DMV here offers a carseat safety check for free - they'll examine a used carseat and tell you if it appears to be OK to use - so we told her that she would need to get that done, and also get the seats professionally installed (you can take them to a mechanic and they'll install them and issue you with a certificate stating it's been done by someone who has been trained to do it).

Frankly, I STILL don't want the seats used, but I also know that they probably never will be, which is why I finally said it would be OK under the above circumstances (if I thought they actually would be used, I'd have stuck to my guns). MIL is still under the delusion that she'll be providing daycare for us, no matter how many times we have (very clearly) told her that she won't be. So in the incredibly rare circumstance that she might watch the boys for a few hours AND need to take them somewhere, we'll simply swap cars with her so she can use our carseats.

I still find it kind of dumbfounding that MIL was upset that I said no to the seats originally though. I understand that she was probably a bit embarrassed at not knowing they were a no-no (and I can understand that - I mean, when she had kids it was still fine to drive around with them on your lap, KWIM?) and that they couldn't be returned, but come on - these are my kids and I don't give a rat's ass about anyone's feelings when it comes to their safety.

MrsNicole&Brian808 · June 2010

mrspresley:
I would use it if I knew the person well and they assured me that the car seat had not been in any accidents. I would not use it past the expiration though. So, find out if they've been storing them somewhere warm (like an attic) which will shorten the lifespan of the car seat and then find out what the year of manufacture is on them. Most car seats expire 5-6 years after date of manufacture and that is due to how well the plastic can hold up to heat over time. Safety first

Thanks! I'm probably going over to mom's place again this week. I'll be sure to check on the DOM and also write down any other info on the seat labels.

redshoegirl:

Yup, I had a similar (but worse) situation with used carseats and MIL. I would have been OK if the carseats she bought came from someone we knew well and trusted, but she bought them at a baby swap meet thingy from some totally random person. NO FREAKING WAY. Ben explained to her that carseats are like motorcycle helmets - one crash and it's trash - but she insisted that the person had said that the seats had never been in an accident, and why would they lie? *le sigh*
My solution was different to what yours will probably be: I found out that the DMV here offers a carseat safety check for free - they'll examine a used carseat and tell you if it appears to be OK to use - so we told her that she would need to get that done, and also get the seats professionally installed (you can take them to a mechanic and they'll install them and issue you with a certificate stating it's been done by someone who has been trained to do it).
Frankly, I STILL don't want the seats used, but I also know that they probably never will be, which is why I finally said it would be OK under the above circumstances (if I thought they actually would be used, I'd have stuck to my guns). MIL is still under the delusion that she'll be providing daycare for us, no matter how many times we have (very clearly) told her that she won't be. So in the incredibly rare circumstance that she might watch the boys for a few hours AND need to take them somewhere, we'll simply swap cars with her so she can use our carseats.
I still find it kind of dumbfounding that MIL was upset that I said no to the seats originally though. I understand that she was probably a bit embarrassed at not knowing they were a no-no (and I can understand that - I mean, when she had kids it was still fine to drive around with them on your lap, KWIM?) and that they couldn't be returned, but come on - these are my kids and I don't give a rat's ass about anyone's feelings when it comes to their safety.

I suppose I was really taken aback by my mom's reaction. How dare I insinuate that she and her boss would knowingly put my baby in harm's way! For the record, while this man is not a complete stranger, I don't know him at all. I would think that it's to his benefit to find someone who would actually take not one, but TWO, bulky used car seats off his hands. Also, my mom sees it as free stuff. Why "complain" about someone giving you something for free? You should be grateful, Nicole. Perhaps I'm just being too sensitive about this situation....

lola808 · June 2010

Our infant seats are from close friends. They were manufactured 3 years ago and the car-seat-installation-safety-lady told us we could use them for this baby, but probably not after due to DOM.

If you're on the fence about using them, take them down to one of the local hospitals when they have a car seat safety day and they can help you decide.

My mom also didn't understand modern day "rules" about car seat safety. Oh well.

HulaLove · June 2010

We are using a used car seat, but I know the previous owner and knew they hadn't been in an accident.

My parents and in-laws don't fully understand the new "rules" and safety precautions for babies either.

myday1708 · June 2010

mrspresley:
I would use it if I knew the person well and they assured me that the car seat had not been in any accidents. I would not use it past the expiration though. So, find out if they've been storing them somewhere warm (like an attic) which will shorten the lifespan of the car seat and then find out what the year of manufacture is on them. Most car seats expire 5-6 years after date of manufacture and that is due to how well the plastic can hold up to heat over time. Safety first

Wow, I did not know they expire! I just knew used car seats were a no-no. This is good to know. DH's cousin gave us her old car seat so his mom could use it up in NJ. So I totally trust her. But her daughter just turned 5. So it probably isn't good... Either way, my MIL says there is a place you can take the seat to and they will tell you if it's good or not. That's what I was going to suggest. Find a place that will look at them and if they say no go, then this is your fist case of having to stand up for your baby against your mom. Explain, be nice, but be firm. Safety first!

SanHawaii08 · June 2010

MrsNicole&Brian808:

I suppose I was really taken aback by my mom's reaction. How dare I insinuate that she and her boss would knowingly put my baby in harm's way! For the record, while this man is not a complete stranger, I don't know him at all. I would think that it's to his benefit to find someone who would actually take not one, but TWO, bulky used car seats off his hands. Also, my mom sees it as free stuff. Why "complain" about someone giving you something for free? You should be grateful, Nicole. Perhaps I'm just being too sensitive about this situation....

ooh, i learned a lot from this thread.

fwiw, i can totally see this reaction from your mom Stick out tongue i think i'd just reiterate that i am grateful, but safety first - get them checked over, check the DOM, etc. and stand firm about it!

MrsZiz · June 2010

I would take them to a car seat safety check. Call Kapiolani and find out when and where they are. Ask your mom for the guy's number so you can call him and ask him if they've ever been in an accident. Oh and car seat clinics can install the seats too, which I highly recommend. 90% of car seats are installed incorrectly. I even had mine professionally installed even though I am a peds nurse and know how to do it myself, I wanted to be sure it was double checked.

I did use a used seat for Bella. It came from one of my friends from nursing school and she's a NICU nurse. It was used for her son who just turned 3. She called the number on it to see if it was defective or had any recalls and I called again once I got it. Even though they are good for 5-6 yrs, her's was manufactured 2 yrs prior to it ever being used so it's "real life" could only be 3 yrs due to the expiration date being based on the manufacture date. The company (Graco) says because it was manufactured 5 yrs ago, they assume it was being used as soon as it was manufactured, even though I KNOW it wasn't because I was at her shower and she got it as a gift, brand new in the box. Needless to say, it expired (based on Graco) in December. We used it until Feb (because I knew the above info) and then switched B to a Britax that we purchased. We won't be using the seat for further kids.

Explain the info to your mom, find something on the internet about the life of carseats (why they expire) so she knows and be like "oh I was researching those seats that X was going to give us and this is what I found"... that way she knows you aren't just trying to be a brat. My mom can be like this too... she thinks if it's free and it worked for one use it for the next one Nice but not so good always... safety first!

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