Community› The Bump Message Boards› Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
New Discussion

S/O you soothing LO.. Does DH get upset? (mini vent)

AzraylaAzrayla member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

We were at her one month appt on friday and we were waiting in the exam room.. DD was throwing a fit for some reason she kept crying and didnt know if she wanted to eat or her paci or whatever.. DH was holding her and trying everything and I was letting him do his thing and try to calm her..after a good 15-20 minutes  (yeah they like, forgot about us) and him pacing with her saying she was "pissing him off" I asked for her..I put her on my chest and started rocking her..gave her her paci and she fell asleep.. He made a remark that she "wore herself out with him"

And yesterday he was holding her and such and she started to fuss..she finished eating and he was trying to give her her paci etc and she just wasnt happy.. He said she cried for only "three seconds" before I took her from him which, was longer than that..and I got her to calm down.. He then took her from me and got upset telling me that I was trying to "hog" her and that I'm "not the only one who can calm her"..

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers image
Report Reply to Post

Re: S/O you soothing LO.. Does DH get upset? (mini vent)

  • RooBearRooBear
    DH does get frustrated with DS much more quickly than I do.  This makes sense to me as I think most men just aren't built with the patience for babies that women are.  He does get his feelings a little hurt when DS will calm down for me when he didn't for him but it's just because he wants to be a good daddy. 
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • bobbymebobbyme member
    Awww...he probably feels left out. I think a lot of fathers can get insecure because mommy seems more important. For some reason, though, my DS calms down quicker with DH than with me, and DH has a longer fuse than I do. We are somewhat opposite of the norm in this way.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    vegan mama, military wife Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    Report Reply
  • dantodanto member

    imagebobbyme:
    Awww...he probably feels left out. I think a lot of fathers can get insecure because mommy seems more important. For some reason, though, my DS calms down quicker with DH than with me, and DH has a longer fuse than I do. We are somewhat opposite of the norm in this way.

    same for us

    Report Reply
  • sophie206sophie206 member

    imagebobbyme:
    Awww...he probably feels left out. I think a lot of fathers can get insecure because mommy seems more important. For some reason, though, my DS calms down quicker with DH than with me, and DH has a longer fuse than I do. We are somewhat opposite of the norm in this way.

    This is us, too! Although, I'm blaming it on my sleep-deprivation! ;)

    DD1: Maya 05/10
    DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13
    Report Reply
  • ajetterajetter member

    DH knows that I'm the one with her all day, and she is used to being soothed by me.  Sometimes she will calm down with him, sometimes he passes her to me.  But also, as much as he absolutely adores his daughter, I don't think he is very into babies.  He is just ready for her to be a toddler.

    Even though I can calm her quicker, she is definitely more enthralled with her daddy.  She smiles as soon as he starts talking to her.

    image 

    I can't say I'm not a little jealous of that :o)

    Report Reply
  • mrstarawalshmrstarawalsh member
    This is not what you want to hear, nor is it easy to do but you NEED to let him find his own way of comforting her. It blows his confidence if you step in every time she's crying on him and creates a situation where he is so unsure of himself that eventually he will not even try. I know its hard but unless he is getting frustrated to the point where he is going to do harm let him be. It also gives your LO a chance to get used to someone else calming them.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • hydies33hydies33 member

    imagemrstarawalsh:
    This is not what you want to hear, nor is it easy to do but you NEED to let him find his own way of comforting her. It blows his confidence if you step in every time she's crying on him and creates a situation where he is so unsure of himself that eventually he will not even try. I know its hard but unless he is getting frustrated to the point where he is going to do harm let him be. It also gives your LO a chance to get used to someone else calming them.

    This is the advice I've been given by my friends. It isn't easy, but I'm following it.  

    Photobucket Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image
    Report Reply
  • AzraylaAzrayla member
    imagehydies33:

    imagemrstarawalsh:
    This is not what you want to hear, nor is it easy to do but you NEED to let him find his own way of comforting her. It blows his confidence if you step in every time she's crying on him and creates a situation where he is so unsure of himself that eventually he will not even try. I know its hard but unless he is getting frustrated to the point where he is going to do harm let him be. It also gives your LO a chance to get used to someone else calming them.

    This is the advice I've been given by my friends. It isn't easy, but I'm following it.  

    Ill give it a shot.. its what I tried to do in scenario one.. but after hearing her fuss for so long I felt bad.. I'll be going back to work next saturday and twice a week hell be alone with her for a good 8 hours at least..That'll give him time to learn and I'll try and let him figure it out while I'm around as well..Thanks

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers image
    Report Reply
  • butterbeansmamabutterbeansmama

    imagebobbyme:
    Awww...he probably feels left out. I think a lot of fathers can get insecure because mommy seems more important. For some reason, though, my DS calms down quicker with DH than with me, and DH has a longer fuse than I do. We are somewhat opposite of the norm in this way.

    This is us too!

    Report Reply
  • hoshicathoshicat member
    Has he watched The Happiest Baby on the Block? SO does great with it and LO :)
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • hoshicathoshicat member
    BTW I never have said but I love your LO's name both her and her name are beautiful!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • AzraylaAzrayla member

    imagehoshicat:
    BTW I never have said but I love your LO's name both her and her name are beautiful!

    Thank you very much! Michael is adorable :) And I'll refer DH to that video! I've been meaning to pick up that book..so many things I need to do..

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers image
    Report Reply
  • hoshicathoshicat member
    imageAzrayla:

    imagehoshicat:
    BTW I never have said but I love your LO's name both her and her name are beautiful!

    Thank you very much! Michael is adorable :) And I'll refer DH to that video! I've been meaning to pick up that book..so many things I need to do..

    Aw thanks! :) I never did pick up the book, but I loved the clip. :) There are always things to do! lol

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • SugarnearSugarnear member
    You should be able to get the dvd at the library!
    Report Reply
  • thestewartsrockthestewartsrock member
    imageRooBear:
    DH does get frustrated with DS much more quickly than I do.  This makes sense to me as I think most men just aren't built with the patience for babies that women are.  He does get his feelings a little hurt when DS will calm down for me when he didn't for him but it's just because he wants to be a good daddy. 
    This exactly for me!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"