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htomeo
member
Need big advice.... Every comment helps
htomeo
member
I am re-posting this from another board, because we are at a loss of what to do. I cherish the advice on this board. Please help us out....
My 7 year old has a big problem. She has been caught twice stealing
food/candy at school. Well I just went through her room, and found:
Ritz Crackers box (full size)
Saltine Cracker box (full size)
Cheez-it box (full size)
Wheat Thins box (full size)
Pretzel bag (big size)
All empty in her room. She first said she got them from her friend. Um,
yeah. I don't buy it. Finally she told me and my mom she took them from
school. she has been stealing these items from the snack cupboard. She
said she wasn't hungry, she just wanted them.
Now I am trying to right her wrong. This is the last week of school.
I am sending emails to her teacher, Principal, and school counselor. I
am letting them know what is going on. I am also sending money to her
teacher to replace the snacks, maybe for the class next year. I am also
going to provide a big snack on the last day of school.
She is going to work in my mom's yard/garden this summer to earn back
the money to re-pay me.
The oldest two have told me that she has been caught stealing at their
birth mom's house too. (toys, money, makeup) She does not steal from us
here at home, or at my mom's house.
Here is my question. Where do I go from here? What should DH and I do?
We know this is a sign of a way bigger issue. But we do not know what.
We do know when she is at her mom's house for visitations, she feels
picked on and pushed aside. (Birth mom's actions and words to not help
the situation) She acts out a lot more over there. And is dis-regulated
when they come back home, until she gets back into the regular schedule
of things here.
Help
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Re: Need big advice.... Every comment helps
Ask the school psych. for a recommendation for therapists that work with children. If either you or you H has an EAP through work call them for help she is a member of your household therefore would qualify for treatment through them too.
You didn't do anything wrong, you and your H are not equipt to deal with this alone you need professional intervention. While she needs to be held accountable, she is screaming for help, punishments may not be the route you want to go. She is already starting to become out of control you need a professional to guide you through this.
I think you need the advice of a professional.
This in spades.
I agree... better to handle it now while she is young.
If this is a habitual thing, I would call the local police station and see if they have a Steer Straight program or something like it. My friend's daughter was doing the same thing at 9 years old and they got her into the Steer Straight program. The cops essentially pick the kid up at your house and they see what it is like to be arrested, detained, they tour the jail and talk to an inmate who has been serving a sentence, and in theory it is supposed to scare them into stopping their criminal behavior.
In my friend's case, it helped a ton. I would still look into counseling but maybe that sort of program would be a good way to jump start things.
I aggree with this find her a good councelor out side of school, poor little one this is probly her way of dealing with her mom issues.
I have a 7 year old and it is hard for me to picture her stealing. IMO, that's definitely concerning because of her age. Any older, and I could somewhat see it being due to poor behavior. In this case, I agree that she needs help. Your school should definitely be able to help out with counseling from the social worker. After your SD talks with the SW, the SW can recommend further counseling or what actions need to be taken. We did this for my SD because of emotional issues. We thought they were pretty bad, but she only needed to talk to the SW 3 times and we saw MAJOR improvement.
GL.