XP: Im being a spaz today

CLAYLIOVER · June 2010

Even though my early miscarriage fears have faded I have now begun to worry about a plether of other things. PPROM, fetal demise, etc etc...and being pg with multiples my risks are so much higher. Im being monitored closely. But does that really prevent anything? I feel like I should put myself on bedrest just so I know Im not aggravating anything.

TMI- but- DH and I had sex last night and the whole time I was distracted thinking about what it may cause. I am not one of those dumb girls who thinks sex causes problems either. I am well read and researched. I just cant help but worry.

Any advice from other girls out there who went through similar fears? I know Im suppose to just let go and "what happens will happen" but it was such a long road for me Im scared. I really really want to enjoy this pregnancy. And Im just not. TIA girls.

lax15bsu · June 2010

Quit it, you spaz. You need to relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Sit at work and concentrate on seeing if you can feel movement yet. There is absolutely no use in worrying about anything and everything that can go wrong with the twins, because it will just consume your life.

Unless and until you actually have an actual symptom or two of one of your fears, you have got to quit thinking of what can go wrong.

I know it's hard. But really, sitting there worrying is worse for the babies anyway.

You are already past the biggest danger zone. You ARE being VERY closely monitored (of which I'm totally jealous too), so anything is going to be caught early. You are not going to put yourself on bedrest. That will only give you more fuel to the fire to worry, because then you'll have nothing to take your mind off your fears.

lax15bsu · June 2010

And really, I do know how you feel. I worry every single day that I'm going to get a blood clot in the umbilical cord, which will stop blood flow to my baby boy, and will kill him. And I know I'm on blood thinners to stop that from happening, but what if I miss a shot? Or what if I take a shot too late?

Or what if something else entirely happens? I mean, I have a bigger chance of getting in a car accident than I do of PPROM. But I can't keep myself from ever getting in a car.

You have to live your life. You cannot let your fears take control.

CLAYLIOVER · June 2010

lax15bsu:

And really, I do know how you feel. I worry every single day that I'm going to get a blood clot in the umbilical cord, which will stop blood flow to my baby boy, and will kill him. And I know I'm on blood thinners to stop that from happening, but what if I miss a shot? Or what if I take a shot too late?

Or what if something else entirely happens? I mean, I have a bigger chance of getting in a car accident than I do of PPROM. But I can't keep myself from ever getting in a car.

You have to live your life. You cannot let your fears take control.

You are right. Im just having a moment. Loveeee you!

lax15bsu · June 2010

CLAYLIOVER:

You are right. Im just having a moment. Loveeee you!

Uh, duh!

Addicted2thenot · June 2010

I am sorry you are having a rough time, I will say the worrying goes down the farther along you get.

pepomntpat · June 2010

My only advice is to take each day as it comes and to not focus on the future. Being able to enjoy what is happening right now really does help. Live in the moment. Also, take yoga. It helps you live in the moment.

E&RMommy · June 2010

Try to relax! FWIW, my doctor doesn't want MoM having sex at all during pregnancy - especially 2nd tri and on. Maybe it's a little cautious...but after being put on bed rest at 23 weeks for ctx and cervical shortening I'm glad I didn't have sex prior. O's can make you contract and will just lead to worry. So just do what feels comfortable and ask your doctor. If you are too stressed by sex don't have it.

someflower6 · June 2010

it was right around the 15 week mark that i started getting ridiculously paranoid about everything, too. the whole "relax and whatever happens happens" thing is easy to tell someone, but it's really hard to do. unfortunately, there's not much else you CAN do. what helped me was:

1) recognizing and acknowledging my fears-- it's ok to have them. for me, it was better to admit that i was afraid of something then pretend it wasn't getting to me. talking about it with my husband, or this board, really helped.

2) doing a thorough self-evaluation whenever i started to feel anxious-- if i had an odd pain (which happens a lot during pregnancy) instead of automatically assuming something was wrong, i learned to monitor it. what was hurting, where was it hurting, how long had it been hurting. over time, was it getting better, worse, or staying the same? not only did this make me realize that most of my issues went away, but for anything that i was legitimately concerned about, i had a detailed report to give the dr.

the important thing is not to assume that anything bad is going to happen to you. yes, there are risks out there and it's ok to be afraid of those things (and in my opinion, it's good to be knowledgable of those things, even if knowledge is scary!). but i learned that just because my vag hurt didn't mean i had an incompetent cervix. it took me weeks to learn that, and i still struggle with my fears, but give yourself some time and i'm sure you really will start to relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

sorry for the novel!

CLAYLIOVER · June 2010

someflower6:

it was right around the 15 week mark that i started getting ridiculously paranoid about everything, too. the whole "relax and whatever happens happens" thing is easy to tell someone, but it's really hard to do. unfortunately, there's not much else you CAN do. what helped me was:

1) recognizing and acknowledging my fears-- it's ok to have them. for me, it was better to admit that i was afraid of something then pretend it wasn't getting to me. talking about it with my husband, or this board, really helped.

2) doing a thorough self-evaluation whenever i started to feel anxious-- if i had an odd pain (which happens a lot during pregnancy) instead of automatically assuming something was wrong, i learned to monitor it. what was hurting, where was it hurting, how long had it been hurting. over time, was it getting better, worse, or staying the same? not only did this make me realize that most of my issues went away, but for anything that i was legitimately concerned about, i had a detailed report to give the dr.

the important thing is not to assume that anything bad is going to happen to you. yes, there are risks out there and it's ok to be afraid of those things (and in my opinion, it's good to be knowledgable of those things, even if knowledge is scary!). but i learned that just because my vag hurt didn't mean i had an incompetent cervix. it took me weeks to learn that, and i still struggle with my fears, but give yourself some time and i'm sure you really will start to relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

sorry for the novel!

thank you girl. this really does help.

californiastars · June 2010

I completely understand spazing out. This was me last week.

It is hard not having any control over anything but wanting to keep the babies safe.

I finally had to tell myself that everything is fine and I can't dwell on everything bad that can happen. I just need to keep reminding myself that in 5 months I will have a beautiful healthy baby. Fantasizing about that is a lot better than the nightmare of the bad.