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Anyone else afraid their name will be taken?

austenreader85austenreader85 member
in Baby Names

I have an acquaintance at church who is due with twin girls in August.  We're not very close so I feel like I can't ask her what names she's considering, but I'm so afraid that she'll use the name Grace.  I know that's selfish, but DH and I are so in love with that name for a girl, whether or not this one is a girl.  Is there any way to ask and not sound tacky and desperate about names?  I know she's not tied to answer, but I'd love to satisfy my own curiousity.

ETA:  I forgot to mention that our church is very small and close knit, the children will likely grow up and be together a lot.  And we have last names starting with the same letter, there couldn't even be a Grace A and a Grace B.  Yes, if she were to use it first, I would have to come up with something else.  I suppose I'd just like to be prepared.  I also didn't mention that one of the reasons I can't ask her is because I live 4,000 miles away right now (until August) and she's on bedrest, the babies will likely be taken from her in a few weeks.  Ugh, I have a problem with putting too much information in posts so I tried to make it shorter.  Totally failed.  I know, flame away, there's no way I can ask her about the names, I'll just have to wait.  Just didn't know if I was the only one concerned that someone the child would be in contact with often would have the same name.  She's the only other girl I know who is still pregnant (a few others already born).  The reason why I'm not close to her is because she's newish to the church (last 3 years) and I basically was not able to attend a single social function due to work and school during that time.  I'm a SAHW now, just in the wrong state, and will soon be a SAHM living just a few mintues from her.  See- this is why I didn't try to explain it all.  Sorry to even ask.

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Re: Anyone else afraid their name will be taken?

  • kararae55kararae55
    I don't think I would ask.  A lot of people don't want to share names.
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  • plunderbplunderb member
    Imagine that you ask her and she says that she will be naming one of her daughters Grace. Would you seriously change your mind about  using the name you are both "so in love with" because an acquaintance who you don't know very well gave her daughter that (very common) name months before?
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  • moonfaeriemoonfaerie member
    Grace seems to be on practically everyone's short list, so you'll drive yourself nuts worrying about whether someone else is using it. You're not very close, so why do you care if your daughters have the same name? It's hard enough to find names for the parents to agree on, without worrying what anyone else uses or likes, so I wouldn't worry about it.

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  • Scout05Scout05 member
    If you're not close enough to ask the name, I would think you could have children with the same name. It's not that uncommon of a name, after all.
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  • SeasideBride06SeasideBride06 member
    When I was pregnant with DD, our boy name was Noah.  It has been Noah since before we were even married.  We had a girl, but still plan to use Noah if we have a boy down the road.  Anyways, our friends at church got pregnant right after I had DD.  We were talking about names and they said their boy name was Noah.  My response was, "Oh really, that is our boy name too.  I guess we may end up with two of them around here one day!"  It turned out that they had a girl, but even if they would have had a boy, I would still have used it!
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  • firewife9278firewife9278 member

    imageambrandau2:
    If you're not close enough to ask the name, I would think you could have children with the same name. It's not that uncommon of a name, after all.

    This!

     
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  • *littlered**littlered*
    If you aren't close, I'm not sure why you are so concerned.  My DD is Grace - I never worried what others were naming their daughters - that was our girl name (after my grandmother) no matter what.  In our area, though, it is more popular as a middle name so she's the only one we know.  I know it's more popular in other areas.   
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  • jez_girljez_girl
    imagecollegecouple:

    ETA:  I forgot to mention that our church is very small and close knit, the children will likely grow up and be together a lot.  And we have last names starting with the same letter, there couldn't even be a Grace A and a Grace B.  Yes, if she were to use it first, I would have to come up with something else.  I suppose I'd just like to be prepared.  I also didn't mention that one of the reasons I can't ask her is because I live 4,000 miles away right now (until August) and she's on bedrest, the babies will likely be taken from her in a few weeks.  Ugh, I have a problem with putting too much information in posts so I tried to make it shorter.  Totally failed.  I know, flame away, there's no way I can ask her about the names, I'll just have to wait.  Just didn't know if I was the only one concerned that someone the child would be in contact with often would have the same name.  She's the only other girl I know who is still pregnant (a few others already born).  The reason why I'm not close to her is because she's newish to the church (last 3 years) and I basically was not able to attend a single social function due to work and school during that time.  I'm a SAHW now, just in the wrong state, and will soon be a SAHM living just a few mintues from her.  See- this is why I didn't try to explain it all.  Sorry to even ask.

    Wow, I seriously must have missed something. Everyone's posts were quite reasonable, and you seem to be freaking out a tad... Some PM's, I take it?

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  • mrsseguinmrsseguin member
    I think you are overreacting.  Maybe if an immediate family member used the name, I would change it...but she is an acquaintance.  Who really cares what they name their babies.  If you like the name, use it.  Who cares....really.
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  • Ms MollyMs Molly member

    imageambrandau2:
    If you're not close enough to ask the name, I would think you could have children with the same name. It's not that uncommon of a name, after all.

    This.  I would consider it normal to ask someone what they were thinking of naming their unborn.  Especially if she is a friend of yours.  Also, Grace is a very common name.  I would understand your predicament a little more if your favorite name were super different or uncommon. 

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  • GideonsMomGideonsMom member

    Grace is a top girl name right now so you just have to decide if you want your child to have a name that lots of other children will have or not. If that lady doesnt name her child Grace, chances are someone you know will.

    My DH loves Grace and wants to name our child this too. I dont want to choose a popular name.  

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  • pawcallpawcall member

    I'm not worried about this happening at all.  We know what names we like, and when our baby is born, we'll use one of them, regardless of who else has/hasn't.  My brother-in-law and his wife and expecting a baby less than a month before us.  I don't know what names they're considering, but TBH, even if they choose the name we chose, we're still using it.

    FWIW - I think it's stupid to try to "claim" a name.  We're keeping our choices to ourselves IRL because we're not looking for input.  

    As pp have said, once you choose a fairly popular name, you pretty much have to be okay with the fact that other people will use it.  That's how it got so popular...

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  • amandalorenamandaloren member

    I only tell my names to a FEW choice people now. Not to long ago my fiance's cousin was at our house for a get together and my stupid ass had a couple glasses of wine...This made me blurt out my fav boy name to her because she was having a hard time thinking of names. (She was about 14 weeks preg. then) Well next thing I new her fb status was that she was naming her baby the exact name I told her was my fav.

    Obviously I was a little disappointed but couldn't get mad because it was my fault that I had told her and I know I don't have claims to names. So, don't tell and they won't have the chance to steal...

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  • lderealderea
    Although I do understand wanting your baby to be special and unique, the reality is that unless you make up a name, there will always be another Grace somewhere.  The reality is that it seems like a big deal now but once your LO is here and named, you won't care who else has her name. 
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  • theladygraytheladygray

    you could always just start calling your baby grace and making it publicly known that youa re probably going to use that name...

    then you arent asking her...

     

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  • wallace84wallace84
    Just name your kid whatever you want and let her name her kid whatever she wants. You don't own names. Imagine if one of your acquaintances came up to you and asked you the same thing. How would you feel? It's not a big deal to have two kids with the same name. It's been happening forever. Ask any Jennifer, Jessica, or Ashley.
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  • bulldog_mama23bulldog_mama23

    I think you should just name your child what you want to name it, it doesn't matter if it the same name that an acquaintance has chosen either, in my opinion. 

     

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