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2nd Trimester
koalabear1987
member
FIL can be a real jerk.....
koalabear1987
member
Doesn't it just brighten your day when family members make comments about your weight. First off FIL has always had an issue with my weight (I am 20 lbs overweight pre pregnancy). He has always been judgemental about it and i find it funny esp. since his own wife is 4x's my size and he never says anything to her. Well he really outdid himself the other day when he called to talk to DH. What do you say to someone when they call and ask," how you doing, are you still fat and chubby?"...... He should be glad i wasnt there i might have had a meltdown. Next time he is getting a piece of my mind. He has no right to say that. Since my BFP i have lost 9 lbs and only gained 3, its not like i have put on a bunch of weight. Anyway, i can't vent about this to DH because its his dad. DH does get angry when his dad does this but he never acts on it. Anyone else have to deal with family members that need muzzles.
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Re: FIL can be a real jerk.....
The best way to deal with a family member like that is to speak up for yourself.
Tell him his comments are both inappropriate and unappreciated. And your weight- regardless of what point you're at in your life- is none of his business.
WTF?! I have never heard of a guy, esp. a FIL that would say sh!t like this (except here on the bump.) I'd say something like, "Good thing I'm married to your son, not you"
What a d!ck.
Apparently he finds it funny. I am sure if MIL found out or if he said something like that she would lay him out with a frying pan. I should tell her hes saying stuff like that to me, i am sure she would give him more than an ear full.
Seriously! Make sure you do it in person so you can see the beat down, hahahaaa!
FIL is the one that makes the comments, and among other things as well for me. My husband feels like he owes his dad because his dad was a single dad (husband's grandparents raised him though).
About 2 or 3 weeks ago we had to go to the bar inbetween driving from one hospital to another to try to get his dad out because he was trying to pick a fight with a much bigger guy. So, once we walk into the bar and we walk up to his dad, he looks at my belly, RUBS IT and says "Wow, you can really tell you're packing on the weight! That's my granddaughter in there!" I about died. EVERYONE was giving me looks like they felt bad for me that I had to be there...hahaha...but the bartender was great, she told me, "If you need anything at all, you let me know right away!" Hahahahaha. Perk! If I wouldn't have been in some pain that night, I would have hit him in the face.
Anyway, mine makes comments on my weight everytime he see's me. I know I'm pregnant, I know I'm gaining weight...but I don't need to be reminded of it. I was about 20 pounds overweight pre-pregnancy, and I'm glad I'm gaining for the baby...but seriously...he should shut it.
Father inlaws...GRR!!
I agree with OctoberBabyH, play the pregnancy card. Your husband needs to stick up for you.
My FIL, he is looking for a companion...but in the most wrong possible ways. One thing that really bothers me when he talks about meeting a woman...he say woman...he says betty. "I need to find me a nice betty, get my car, and I'd be set." I know it was slang back in the golden days, but to me...in present time, I take it rudely. And so does every other woman that has heard him say it. Anyway, I hate when he uses the words betty, p*ssy, the "c" word, and I'm sure there are others...but he would use them excessively. Finally I told DH, "If you don't tell him to respect me as a woman in his presence, I am going to freak the f*** out. He needs to stop talking like that around me."
So hubby told him not to talk like that in front of me, but he still does to a degree that is tolerable. Oh! I guess I should mention that once we got the bar, FIL tried to get MY HUSBAND to be his BACK UP...I pulled DH aside and said, "What is worth it? Me or helping him right now?"
Needless to say we left. The next day his dad was all butt hurt because we left.
Ugh...I would love to hear more stories about how crappy inlaws can be.
But yeah...he needs to start putting his foot down with the comments. If he doesn't, they will just get worse and worse...and it will cause problems between you and DH.
I'm sorry, I don't care what excuse your DH has for FIL. He may be his dad, but your the soon to be mother of his child and his wife. End of story.
My in laws are kinda the same way, they make rude comments ALL the time. They once told me I was a bad wife becuase I didn't take DH's clothes to the dry cleaners, I make him do it. Anyways, they made a stupid comment the other day about me not cooking enough, I told DH that I don't want to be around them until they can act like adults and stop with the comments. I havn't seen or spoken to them in about a week, best week of my life