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3rd Trimester
Open Letters!
Dear Facebook Friend,
Just because you have had 2 children does not necessarily mean you know more about my pregnancy than my midwife. So please stop telling me she's wrong. While you're at it, please stop insisting on the accuracy of the Draino test or the Chinese gender chart. It sort of tarnishes your credibility as a pregnancy expert.
Thanks, Chickpea
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Open Letters!
I will add an open letter:
Dear Body,
Please make up your mind as to whether you are going to pop out this baby or not. I do not like getting my hopes up and practicing breathing techniques with timeable contractions for a whole freakin' hour, only to have them stop suddenly. Either let me go into real labor now or stop producing contractions.
Thanks Halen0804
LOL!!!
I have one too.
Dear MIL,
Can you please stop hounding me for belly shots to show all of your work friends whom I don't know? It makes me very uncomfortable that they even want to see me. Also, please stop calling me to tell me your same birth stories for all 3 of your children over and over! I've heard them, enough. Just so you know, me and DH will not even be calling you until the baby is actually delivered though you are dead set on us calling as soon as I get to the hospital. I understand this is your first grandchild, I really do. But you have a tendancy to want to be "so involved" and then do nothing when you are needed. (i.e. our WEDDING)
So please leave me alone because you are already smothering me. You have 3 children of your own - please work their nerves and not mine. I have my own Mother and Father to do that
PEACE AND BLESSINGS......
Dear Baby,
If you want to come out in 2-3 weeks instead of 4-5 weeks that would be totally cool.
Love,
Mom
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
Dear DH
Please stop asking me "STUPID" questions, like what is in the shower dispenser LABELED Shower Gel!!!! It is really annoying. It is labeled for a reason I think
Dear Good Friend,
I love you. I tell you many things and really value our friendship. But only my immediate family gets to know when we go into the hospital. So stop trying to convince me to call or text you about when we go in. Sorry, but I will be busy at the time and will not be thinking about you.
I have one.
Dear Fellow Customers at Grocery Store:
I don't believe that sign that says "Express Lane: 15 Items or Less" is difficult to see, read, or understand. Especially since the sign exists above your head and right in front of your face while in that lane. Don't come to the register, unload 15 items onto the belt and then say to the cashier, "Oh...I have a few chocolate milks also. Can I put those up, too?" and then proceed to put 15 individual Nestle' chocolate milks onto the belt. How in the world do you justify coming to the express lane with 30 items? 16 or 17, sure...no big deal. Even 20 and I wouldn't notice. But 30. Really? Walk yourself over to the regular line, wait a few minutes like the rest of the world, and then take yourself back to school and learn some reading comprehension. That is all.
Thanks, ArmyWife3
Dear MIL,
If you try to insinuate again that just because my 2 year old overly active little boy has a bruise on his side means that DH and I are beating our child or putting him in the care of someone that is, you will not see him again. I can not take your constant accusations over why he does the things he does or why he has cuts and bruises. He's a 2 year old boy and he's MY child - stop questioning me! You think you'd know better than to mess with a very pregnant woman!
Dear Baby,
It would be so much easier on you if you just decided to get your cute little butt out here. You wouldn't be woken up every time I eat, you wouldn't get hiccups when I eat, I wouldn't use you as a table anymore (I can tell how much you hate that since you kick my plate, book, laptop or whatever else I rest on you), and you wouldn't have to eat spicy food with me. Best of all, you would make mommy sooooo happy!
Love,
Mommy
Dear newbies on the bump,
I am happy that you joined and I want you to stay. However, read old posts before you write a new one. I don't want to see another Pampers post or a "what to put on my registry" post. I feel like we are way past those issues. Maybe waiting until the 7th month to ask those questions wasn't the best idea...
Dear Family Members,
I realize that we have promised to call when I am in labor, and we will.
However, I have no signs of labor, as I've told you. Therefore, when I call, perhaps it would be courteous to pick up the phone and say "hello" first instead of "is it baby time?". I realize you are anxious. Trust me, no one is more anxious to meet my baby than me. But I still exist and will call you in the meantime for other reasons, perhaps just to talk. And asking if it's baby time yet just reminds me that it's not and doesn't even feel close.
Thank you.
Dear DH
Please stop inviting your young male relatives to our home birth. If I wanted them to see me naked I would not have waited until I was as large as a house and pushing out a human being.
Love, wifey