WWYD: To tell, or not to tell?

Buttercup29 · June 2010

I have 2 friends that were very close to me at one point in my life and neither of them know we are pregnant. I would hate for them to find out from other people, but they don't return calls or emails - and when I do reach out, they are always busy/traveling/away on vaca. Do I just let it go and let them find out when they do or should I just keep trying to reach out? TIA!

natalee215 · June 2010

When I couldn't get a hold of people, I just decided to send a text so that they didn't find out second hand or via FB. A text isn't the greatest, but I think it's a better alternative than the latter.

Buttercup29 · June 2010

Good call. Everyone has been so great about keeping it off FB and we said we would not really talk about it on there until we were ready. Thanks for the advice!

funny bunny · June 2010

either a text, or e-mail an image of the ultrasound, or something like that.

If I was having trouble reaching them, but still consider them to be close friends I would do this.

DreamsBride411 · June 2010

I wouldn't continue to try... If they don't return phone calls or email, their loss.

sillybiochemist · June 2010

Instead of trying to play phone tag with my friends that I stay closest to, I sent an email to each one of them. If they were a couple and I had both email addresses, I sent it to both. In reality it was the same email mailed 10 times but they only saw that the email was to them. It saved time on my part and gave them the opportunity to reply when necessary. I did it in part because I know at least one couple has been trying, at least off and on without having a little one yet. So I wanted to tell her as respectfully as I could but also give her the space that she may have needed. It worked out really well overall with everyone. And my friend who had been trying to conceive sent me a beautiful hand made card. We've been friends since high school, so I'm sure that the length of the friendship helped a bit. HTH. People are busy, and at least with the email (if well written) gives them time to respond but also saves you time and hassle.

MmeBP · June 2010

sillybiochemist:
Instead of trying to play phone tag with my friends that I stay closest to, I sent an email to each one of them. If they were a couple and I had both email addresses, I sent it to both. In reality it was the same email mailed 10 times but they only saw that the email was to them. It saved time on my part and gave them the opportunity to reply when necessary. I did it in part because I know at least one couple has been trying, at least off and on without having a little one yet. So I wanted to tell her as respectfully as I could but also give her the space that she may have needed. It worked out really well overall with everyone. And my friend who had been trying to conceive sent me a beautiful hand made card. We've been friends since high school, so I'm sure that the length of the friendship helped a bit. HTH. People are busy, and at least with the email (if well written) gives them time to respond but also saves you time and hassle.

I sent my two best friends back in the states emails telling them they were going to be uncles! With the time difference I could never get a hold of them via phone, and because of the international fees they would not be able to call me back. I really wanted them to find out from me and not second hand.

Buttercup29 · June 2010

I ended up texting one and she returned with a call. It seems that she is known for being bad about returning calls - and felt horrible that I had been reaching out and could not get her to tell her the news. As for the other friend, I decided to just leave it alone. I think we have been on different pages about our friendship and it isn't worth the effort. Thanks for the advice.

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