- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
m/c 03.08.11 at ~9 weeks
MIL babysitting for the first time but I'm EBF
DH's birthday is this Saturday and for the first time EVER he wants to celebrate. So I got tickets to our favourite comedy club for 11 pm.
LO now sleeps from about 9 pm till morning, but occasionally wakes up sometime between 3 and 5 am for a feed. I haven't started pumping at all, because I EBF and since I don't work, I take DD with me if I need to go anywhere. I really don't want anyone else feeding her (I know that sounds selfish, but it's a special bond that we have) or wearing her (except for DH- they love their BW time together).
But I digress.. My point is that MIL really wants me to leave pumped BM with her in case LO wakes up hungry but I'm only going to be gone between 11 pm and 1 am and I feel like she just wants to feed my baby. I won't be too far away (I can get back within 15 mins if I really need to).. Is this bad? Should I pump just in case? I feel really selfish but she is DH and my DD and I think it should be our call!
m/c 03.08.11 at ~9 weeksThis discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL babysitting for the first time but I'm EBF
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
If you were going to be gone that long, I would definitely leave some pumped milk just in case. What if your DD woke up hungry - would you want to leave her crying for 15 minutes while you drove back?
I EBF and have left DD with my mother twice for about an hour each time. Even though it was between feedings, I still left some pumped BM just in case. She did not have to use them, but it was reassuring knowing DD would be able to eat if needed.
It's your call, but I would worry too much!
this
DD can go from happy to I'm starving feed me NOW in 2 min. I'd hate to think of her screaming for 15 min. Plus why ruin your DH's birthday to come home to feed her. I think if you don't you kinda are being selfish to your LO and DH
DS had only ever taken 3 bottles and barely took them. I saw no point in pumping because I also thought I don't work so I can take him anywhere with me! Well that was until I ended up in the ER last Sunday and then had to have surgery this past Friday and stay overnight in the hospital. Trust me it is NOT a bad thing to know that your LO will take a bottle if only at least in case of an emergency!
Leave a bottle, 15 minutes of crying is a LONG time for a little baby, I highly doubt your MIL just wants to feed your LO. Think about it if you were babysitting would you want to be left alone with the baby with nothing to feed it?
I'd leave some pumped BM with your MIL. Even if she doesn't need/use it, she has it just in case. I, personally, wouldn't want to be with a screaming, crying infant for 15 minutes in the middle of the night while waiting for you to come back to feed.
Enjoy your time with DH and let your MIL enjoy being a grandma!
For sure leave a bottle.
Honestly, it does sound selfish. If your baby is hungry and needs to eat, I understand your MIL wanting to feed her. And I think if she is good enough to watch your baby, she should be good enough to feed her.
I understand loving your child and the special bond, but honestly, it's ok for others to get to experience closeness with your child. It's a good thing.
OP, you can never have too many people that love your child(ren).
Very well said.
OF COURSE you don't leave your two month old with no way to eat if she wakes up hungry. You're 15 minutes away in a best case scenerio--what if you are delayed (parking issue, traffic, accident, etc.)? And even 15 minutes is too long for a baby that young to cry for food.
You're prioritizing your desire to be the only one who feeds her over her potential need for food. If you're not ready to let her have a bottle, you're not ready to leave her.
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1a1ae8.aspx[/img][/url]
I agree with all the PP. Pump.
Honestly, I think it's awful that you'd be okay with your baby starving/crying/screaming in the middle of the night with nothing to eat for 15 minutes (possibly more if there are issues like one PP pointed out) just because you want to be selfish about your "special bond". I'm sorry, one bottle won't destroy that bond. Promise. I also think it's awful that you would leave DH's birthday celebration (the only one he's wanted in forever) to go feed LO because of this "special bond". That gives your hubby the impression you don't really give a fvck about him, his b-day or his feelings.
And one other point that just occured to me. You wrote that your DD only wakes up around 3am and you'll be home by 1am....well, when my DD spends the night away from home her sleep schedule is ALWAYS off. I tell my mom all the time "Oh she's been sleeping til about 2 at night" or whatever and every time I pick her up my mom's like "yeah, she woke up at 1230 and then at 3 and then at...." whatever. So you cannot guarantee that your child will wait till 3am to wake up/be hungry.
I had to leave DD a week after I had her to go to school for the last couple of weeks and I left my DH with a bottle of pumped milk just in case. When I got home he had given it to her and I broke down in tears. I didn't even realize that it would upset me but she really needed the bottle. I was convinced my DH wanted me to fail at breastfeeding and was actually kind of mad at him but it's good that he was able to give it to her. I realized that it was irrational to think that he would give it to her to hurt me or to ruin our bond. Plain and simple, my baby was HUNGRY!
Another thing is you really need to make your husband a priority too. We still need time to ourselves and if that means giving up a feeding with your daughter than so be it. I EBF too and I have milk pumped and frozen but never give her a bottle but I know that if she ever needs it, it is there.