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What to do? Ultrasound tomorrow...

rondo714rondo714
in 2nd Trimester
Ok, so this is my third pregnancy and for the first two my DH and I did not find out what we were having.  I have always been a firm believer in that this is one of life's only genuine surprises.  But now, being this is my third pregnancy, and I already have 2 boys, I'm dying to know what it is.  But I keep going back and forth trying to make the decision.  My husband says he doesn't care either way, and we can do what I want.  The ultrasound is tomorrow morning.  Any wonderful advice that will help me decide one way or another?  And if you did find out, did anyone keep it a secret from everybody until the baby was born??
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Re: What to do? Ultrasound tomorrow...

  • ~Flossie~~Flossie~ member

    Do you think that if you find out you will regret it? If so, I wouldn't do it.

    Honestly, I'm dying to know the sex as well. Unfortunately, DH doesn't want to know AT ALL. So we decided not to find out (we will if/when we have #2), but I can totally relate to how you are feeling! 

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  • Allie30Allie30 member
    Eh. I'm a firm believer that it's just as much of a "surprise" if you find out at week 20 as if you find out at week 40, so I'm probably not going to be much help to you here. I don't see any benefit to not knowing. I figured if we found out the sex in advance, we got a whole week of being excited about ONLY that -- and we did! And then when the baby's born, we can be excited about that. I don't think we'll be any less excited about the baby's birth because we already know it's a girl. 
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  • Abby'sMommyAbby'sMommy
    We plan to find out, we have one daughter already. With her, we found out at the ultrasound and called everyone from the car as soon as we left. This time, we are going to have the ultrasound tech write it down and put it  in an envelope, maybe with a copy of a ultrasound pic showing, and then open it at dinner that night. Our appt is Wednesday, and I can hardly wait. I say if you want to know, find out.
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  • Mt2G1012Mt2G1012

    imageAllie30:
    Eh. I'm a firm believer that it's just as much of a "surprise" if you find out at week 20 as if you find out at week 40, so I'm probably not going to be much help to you here. I don't see any benefit to not knowing. I figured if we found out the sex in advance, we got a whole week of being excited about ONLY that -- and we did! And then when the baby's born, we can be excited about that. I don't think we'll be any less excited about the baby's birth because we already know it's a girl. 

    All of this exactly.  You need to be comfortable with the choice.  I don't understand being team green, but if it is what you want, you should.

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  • CelticWifeCelticWife member

    If you find out, would you regret it? Because if you think you would be sad after finding out I would wait.

    DH wanted to wait to find out with our first, but then two days before our ultrasound he changed his mind. This time he is all for finding out in a few weeks.

    I believe the gender IS one of life's true surprises. But I don't believe that it is necessarily more special to find out after the baby is born. I think it is just as special hearing the news no matter when or how.

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  • SammyJJoSammyJJo member

    It's one of those few decisions where I think there is genuinely no wrong answer, just whatever works best for you and your family.  If I were you, I'd find out - then again, that's because I'm finding out :)  We always felt like, for us the surprise would be more special at 20 weeks (when there's less going on, fewer distractions and such).  It seems to me that it will be a surprise whether you find out tomorrow or at birth.  Again, that's what works for me and DH.

    It's such a personal decision.  It doesn't affect the health of the baby one way or the other, so do what works for you and your family.

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  • la79alla79al member
    We were team green with DD and though DH wanted to find out then and with this one, I won and got to go team green again.  Right about 27 weeks, both with DD and this one, I started really wanting to know, but it was so incredibly cool hearing them say 'its a girl' when DD was born.  I thought about finding out this time, as I think I am having problems bonding with this baby, but at the same time, I feel like if we find out gender and inevitably pick out a name and start using it, yes it will be exciting when the baby is born but more like meeting someone you already know than meeting a stranger (like that really makes any sense).  Really, with DD I was so shocked that she was a girl that I was still processing the fact while they put 6 trillion stitches in me.  Really helped as a distractor...
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  • AngelaLAngelaL

    imageAllie30:
    Eh. I'm a firm believer that it's just as much of a "surprise" if you find out at week 20 as if you find out at week 40, so I'm probably not going to be much help to you here. I don't see any benefit to not knowing. I figured if we found out the sex in advance, we got a whole week of being excited about ONLY that -- and we did! And then when the baby's born, we can be excited about that. I don't think we'll be any less excited about the baby's birth because we already know it's a girl. 

    ditto this

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  • princessmanda33princessmanda33

    The day after I found out someone at work remarked "i thought you would want to be surprised." I said back "i was surprised. Yesterday. when she said "it's a boy!"  Ultimately it's your decision and it is a surprise either way. Gl with your decision!

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