My Father-In Law is a Chain Smoker....HELP! — The Bump
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My Father-In Law is a Chain Smoker....HELP!

Any body dealt with this before or have advice??  My father in law smokes in his has and has for years.  Though he doesn't smoke while i'm there and doubt he will when the baby is there, the smell and chemicals are still present in the fibers of the furniture and in their air.  We still leave smelling like cigarettes all over when we leave...and we're only there a few hours.

I'm due in September and very worried about this.  I don't know how to really approach this in a nice way without offending them.  My mother in law will want to keep the baby over I already know and have us all over often.  I want to make it clear that the baby being in that environment for an extended amount of time is unacceptable to me, but they are so easily offended.  I don't want to push them away or make them feel that they can't be part of Lucas' life when he's born.  What to do???!!!

Re: My Father-In Law is a Chain Smoker....HELP!

  • What does your DH think? In my experience, most matters dealing with the ILs are best left to ther child, not their DIL. (I have horrible in-laws, just FYI). If your DH agrees with you, then I think he needs to approach the subject with them himself. They will take it better coming from their son then they will from you. If you & your DH are not on the same page, I think you need to take care of that first before approaching the ILs.
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  • My parents were both BIG time smokers.  Just like you described.  My Dad was a chain smoker.  They just recently stopped smoking and I told my Mom last weekend I was so happy b/c now she will be able to watch the baby.  If they hadn't quit, there was no way.  Not even if they didn't smoke when the baby was there b/c, like you said, everything smells like smoke anyway. 

    It would have been easy for me b/c it was MY parents and not his.  IF it was his Mom, my hubby would have to break it down for her or I would do it myself.  I have bad asthma and I'm pretty sure it was from my Dad smoking all the time.  I don't want my child to have to deal with that too.  :(

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  • It's called third-hand smoke...the smoke/chemicals are trapped in the fibers of the furniture, carpet and the smoker's clothing. Not good for you and the baby. I'd suggest your concerns and possible solutions to DH, but definitely keep baby away from that type of environment...imo.

     It is something that DH will have to discuss with his parents...they may not feel offended if he brings it to them by himself, stating he is concerned for their health and the health of his children.


  • My sister had this same situation with her in laws.  They ended up saying Gma and Gpa were welcome to come over and babysit at their house anytime or to go places with them, but due to the smoke/chemicals, baby would not be visiting inside the in laws house.  Kind of sad, a little mean, but best for the child.
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