POLL! did you know how tough it would be?

JezcaM · June 2010

when i was pregnant with aubrey, i met this girl who had a 3-month old. she felt immediately compelled to warn me about how tough it is to have a newborn. she said 'everyone talks about how wonderful it'll be and how much you'll love your baby, but nobody tells you how hard it's going to be! or how alone and miserable you'll feel.' i told her that i was pretty active on a message board for new moms and felt like i was well aware of the trials i was about to face. i'm wondering if other nesties feel the same way?
[Poll]

Faon · June 2010

I'd been reading the baby board for over a year, but I guess I didn't open enough of the posts. Also, it was really stupid of me to not read any books in advance about babies or take classes; just focused on pregnancy and birth. So yeah, it was a big shock and there were a lot of things I didn't know. Maybe my baby is not as easy as some or I'm not as organized?

Hopefully I'm settling into it by now. MAJOR life change that will take a while to adjust to though! If I could go back, I definitely would've gotten things in the house in better order, stocked up more on stuff, and hoarded up more knowledge in advance. Also would've spent more time around really young babies and asked more questions ahead of time.

I've been comparing myself to how other people "seem" to handle it and the whole ideal. It actually makes me feel so much better now and less inadequate when I hear of other people struggling.

bobcatsteph · June 2010

We were super lucky that Caroline was an easy baby! It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. However, she's definitely giving us a run for our money already as a toddler.

brideonjuly8 · June 2010

I wouldn't say it was easier or harder, I just didn't know how tired I would be those first few months. And I had an easy baby.

ditzydi_2000 · June 2010

Nathan is a pretty easy baby. If you meet his needs of food, bath and changing his dirty diapers he is usually pretty content. However, I'm sure that will change eventually.

kiarox2002 · June 2010

I was prepared for a baby, I just don't know that I was prepared for a super high needs baby. I was prepared for sleep deprivation, but I assumed that she would be waking only once or twice by 6 months. She also cried constantly from weeks 2-4 and that was very trying. Other things were much easier than I expected like breastfeeding and cloth diapering, etc. Not to say that breastfeeding was easy in the beginning by any means, but I was worried that my supply would be inadequate because of my PCOS.

CollieJade · June 2010

It was way tougher than I thought. WAY. But honestly, the newborn stage was a piece of cake compared to what we went through months 3-6.

MrsBeckO · June 2010

Actually taking care of Camryn was a piece of cake. But I nannied for twins from birth, so I was prepared for that. She had a couple weeks of nightly "witching hour" around week 6-8 but was always (and still is) an easy baby at night. My biggest concern going into parenthood (in comparison to the nannying) was how I would handle the sleep deprivation, but that was not really an issue at all.

The recovery, however, was MUCH harder than I could have ever prepared myself for. But that was because of the retained placenta and surgery at 2 weeks PP. Had it not been for that and the weeks it took me to be able to function as my normal self, birth/recovery would have been a walk in the park as well. Stupid placenta.

BLONDIE6FT · June 2010

i didn't think it would be as hard as it was. the first few months were terrible. and i felt so bad because all my friends were just happy as clams with their babies! t is definitely a more demanding baby, so that makes a difference, too. i guess i wasn't completely prepared to be as unselfish as i needed to be. i wish doctors emphasized parenting classes instead of birthing classes. you have to give birth no matter what, lol ! sure classes help, but parenting classes would be way more beneficial in the long run.

userdeleted · June 2010

I definitely knew it was going to be hard. In fact, I spent most of my pregnancy worrying about how hard it was going to be. It still didn't even compare to how bad it actually was for us the first three months or so. Leo was a nightmare baby. Good thing he turned out so cute

maribel922 · June 2010

I had no idea how hard it was going to be. No.idea. Even being on the boards, I don't think anyone could have prepared me for the reality of the first few months. Then again, between breastfeeding, acid reflux, weight gain issues and a non-sleeping baby, my road wasn't the easiest.

ACR · June 2010

I knew it would be tough, but I wasn't prepared for how out of whack my hormones were in the first weeks. I told DH that I fully expected the early days to be miserable with patches of joy...but I wasn't expecting to be miserable pretty much the whole time (like I was). It got better after a few weeks, but those were some really tough times. I was so fortunate to have an easy going baby & my mom here to love on DS when I just didn't have it in me.

Taytee · June 2010

I only read parenting and baby books, nothing about pregnancy. I figured my body would do all that on its own. No use reading about it. I felt pretty prepared and spend most my life in a haze of sleep depreviation anyway. The only thing I wasn't prepared for was how difficult and painful breastfeeding would be. I was pretty cool with everything else. Abby wasn't a hard baby at all, but maybe made easier by Happiest Baby on the Block. Emily was a dream baby. I'd almost be willing to have a 3rd if they'd be as easy as her!

I don't think I've ever felt excessively hormonal but I'm not the kind of gal that PMS's either (although DH may disagree!!)

Mrs.Froggianna · June 2010

I didn't vote because it was both. In some ways it was easier, in some ways harder. The sleep deprivation was a LOT harder than I expected.

lilrunner · June 2010

I knew it would be tough and that I had to become completely selfless - which is why it took me until I was 29 to say I was ready. However, I was not at all prepared for colic. I had no idea just how tough it would be to listen to a baby scream 4+ hours non-stop every night.

With DS, I wanted to deliver late b/c I was so nervous about how tough it was going to be. But you know more the 2nd time around, and that helps.

At any rate, it's really just (IMHO) the first 6 months that are the toughest (really the first 3-4 months). What I tell people now is that, yes, it is TOUGH. However, you can't make a decision that will effect the rest of your life based solely on how difficult you will have it for a few months or a year.

JezcaM · June 2010

i was prepared for the absolute worse. my little sister had colic and i remember it well. and i read plenty of nest posts about how tough it was - the toll it'd taken on marriages, isolation, exhaustion... maybe we talked about the troubles more back in 2006? my pregnancy wasn't planned so i also didn't have any romantic notions going into it. i cried all day when i got my BFP because i was terrified. then i had a miserable pregnancy but didn't want it to end because i was convinced having a newborn was going to be worse. so i was PLEASANTLY surprised when taking care of a newborn was much easier than i anticipated. i think the only thing i wasn't prepared for was the postpartum hormones and in retrospect i should have taken some happy pills because i cried every day for at least a month, feeling like an inadequate failure.

thank god for my amazing husband.

Abrooks · June 2010

I think so much of those early days depends on your support system, your baby, your hormones and other factors. I had no idea how absolutely miserable I was going to be. Miserable. I had no idea what to do to sooth my child who was crying for 3 hours straight and how very hard that would be. I had no idea how to help my kiddo sleep better and was exhausted. For me - it was so much harder than I ever anticipated. I think there are some things that no matter how much you read on a board you just can't truly be prepared for. Plus - it didn't help that most of the moms I knew all talked about how wonderful it was, how well the baby slept, yada, yada, yada. I felt like I was the only one that struggled and that everyone else had some magical secret I hadn't figured out yet. The truth was - some babies are easy, some are more difficult and you just don't know what it's going to be like until you're in it.

KittyFX · June 2010

I knew how tough it would be and I can't say it was any easier than I expected. I think it is just hard in ways I may not have anticipated but the severity level isn't harder or easier than I thought. Definitely indescribably life changing as people tried to tell me "you'll just see", etc... I understand now.

Mainer-in-Texas · June 2010

I'm only 6 days into it, but I have to say most of it is about as hard as I thought it would be - the sleep deprivation, crying, etc. Some of it is easier (so far) - we've always been able to figure out why she is crying :::knock on wood::: and I didn't have crazy hormone shifts. I was also nervous that I wouldn't love her right away, but I love her so, so much.

What has thrown me for a loop is breastfeeding. I have already cried a lot over it - I knew it would be hard, I expected that. What I did not expect was things to be sabotaged by her being in NICU and me having an infection. The day she was born, she latched right on and would feed, although she would still fall asleep pretty quickly. But the NICU had her on an (unnecessary, IMO, considering she was there for observation and to receive antibiotics, NOT for weight gain issues) regimented every 3 hour feeding schedule and kept giving her a bottle, even if she wasn't hungry. So, I would go in there and try to breastfeed and she wasn't having it because she was always full.

And I couldn't go to her feedings half the time because I was due to receive antibiotics - which I found out after the fact my doctor had ordered to be discontinued, but the nurses never got the message!

Another thing the NICU nurses did that pissed me and MH off was they often wouldn't call us the few times she actually did wake up hungry so we could come down and breastfeed, despite the fact that we asked them to. And then it took 3 days for us to get a lactation consultant to meet with us, even though we asked like 10 million times.

What this all meant was, by the time we got home, she wouldn't take the breast anymore w/out a nipple shield, and even with the shield, she wouldn't suck enough to get enough milk. To top it off, my milk has been slow to come in because I lost a lot of blood during delivery and had a fever during labor. So now we have to bottle feed her and I am just trying to get her to take the breast at least a little so she won't be completely turned off by it, but she screams every time I try to. And I am pumping, pumping, pumping. And we have rented a scale, a pump, and are paying for a lactation consultant to come to the house today.

MH and I are soooo freaking pissed at the way a lot of this was handled by the nurses at NAMC. They just kept telling us "Oh, the whole 'nipple confusion' thing is NOT TRUE" every time we expressed our concern. Horseshit.

Ahhh, I guess I really needed to vent!

EMTX · June 2010

I was sort of a combo - I had heard and heeded all of the advice & "warnings" but was still fairly shocked by the life change.

The first few months were really hard for me - not necessarily the lack of sleep (which was rough, of course, but not the worst thing in the world), but the pain of breastfeeding for the first few weeks, and looking back, I was definitely dealing with the baby blues. I didn't really admit it or address it then. I don't think I really felt like "myself" until he was 4 or 5 mos. old. It was really hard for me to adjust to not being able to take a shower whenever I wanted, or simply run an errand. Everything seemed like a huge task, but with practice, it all becomes doable.

All of this to say that I knew what it might be like, but I still thought it was harder than I expected!

HOWEVER - to those who are expecting their first, or have newborns, don't let this post scare you. It is all so very, very, VERY much worth it! I am completely in love with DS - you think you couldn't possibly love them more, and it just keeps growing exponentially

JenniferL923 · June 2010

the only thing that threw me for a loop was breastfeeding. I had heard it was hard but I really had no idea that it isn't pleasant, its painful at times, its hard to be on call for her 24-7, its not what the pictures of a smiling mom and content baby portray. that caused a lot of tears early on. it took ten weeks, but finally we've gone a whole week without her rejecting me at least once. You have no idea how pleased I am about this giant leap of progress.

I lucked out and have a very easy baby who I adore to no end. the baby part was a lot easier than I thought it would be. She's a great sleeper, she hardly fusses, she's pretty easy to figure out what she wants most of the time. I think I was prepared for the worst. From week 2 on we've gotten 7+ hours of sleep a night....I was prepared to be up all.night.long. She's been a dream and honestly, I'm actually more nervous to have a second child because she's made it so easy on us that I don't think another baby could be this great.

molliedb · June 2010

neither option really fits for me. i knew it would be hard, but i didnt realize how emotionally difficult it would be. it certainly wasn't easier than i expected it to be.

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