Military Families
Surrounded by Drama
I don't know if it is military base thing or what, but the drama of who's husband is being unfaithful is all around me. I am semi-new to this military world and I just don't recall all this crap when I wasn't just another military dependant!
It is hard to avoid because the these are friends I have made in the past few years of being here. They need to talk to someone. But jeez it sure is a downer....I have to think of a way to not let those negative thoughts and insecurities into my head.
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Re: Surrounded by Drama
I pretty much did this. I see that it's a problem up here as well. Some couples have an agreement that what happens on deployments, stays there. I didn't like that lifestyle nor did DH. I just keep searching for friends with the same morals as me.
This is very common, especially if you live on base/post. Whenever my husband was TDY, some of the wives thought it would be nice to inform me of things my husband did before we ever even met. My husband and I decided when we got together that the past is what made us who we are and that it wasn't all that important to know about or dwell on things that happened years before we knew each other. Living on base is like living in a very small town. I wasn't too keen on the idea of living on base, but after losing my job, it was pretty much our only option. I had a "friend" who would drive by my house and pretty much spy on me while my husband was deployed. It was so annoying. I also think the age and education level of the women you surround yourself with makes a huge difference. I am 25 with two college degrees. I got married when I was 24 and my husband was 25. Most of our friends were 20-22 years old, no education past high school, had been married since they were 18 or 19 years old and had at least one kid. I do not feel like I fit in with enlisted wives because of my education and the fact that I got to grow up and live life before getting married and starting a family. P.S. I also lived in a sorority house and let me tell you, base is a 100 times worse!
Seriously?
Are you serious with this?
I hope this you didn't your post to sound this stuck up. I don't care if people are educated or not, as long as we have things in common and can get along....
I think this is a very rude statement. I got married at 18 and I don't cheat on my husband and I'm not ignorant like you imply, and also just because I was married it doesn't mean I didn't live my life and we didn't start a family until we had been married over 5 years. Like I told everyone when I got married, just because your married, you don't have to have kids right away, and just because I was young doesn't mean I didn't know how to prevent them.
drama begets drama. We live on base, I have plenty of friends on base, know my neighbors, etc and have never had any problems with drama, and haven't really heard any drama stories either.
I am friends with O wives and E wives, and no drama from either group.
I changed my name
I changed my name
Totally agree.
The poster who thinks she is too educated to hang out with enlisted wives should learn what a paragraph is. I do not want to hear a whiny, "I can't make paragraphs, I am on an iphone", excuse either. It can be done; if you educate yourself on how your phone works.
I totally agree with that!! I hate when people give that excuse!
We are like this (doing the point to my eyes point to your eyes thing)
I changed my name
There should be an icon for that.
People are getting on to you, but I get what you are saying about education. I find it infuriating with all of the assistance that is out there that a ton of military wives are content with a high school education, if that. The majority of wives that I have met want to be SAHW/M for the rest fo their lives. They are perfectly happy with letting their DH's finanically support them, even after their children are in school.
My stance is this. What if your DH dies? What if he comes home one day and says, "Honey. I don't love you and I want a divorce." What if he gets kicked out of the military? These are all plausible options. Women need to protect themselves. They need to be able to have something to fall back on when/if the situation warrants it to take care of themselves and their children.
I was married young. I got married at 21, but I had already been to college. I, too, hold two degrees now. I'm 27 now. I don't associate much with other military wives either. The majority of wives that I know are all under 22. I mean no disrespect, but I have no desire to hang out with these younger wives. Many are still in the "I want to party" stage, and I don't drink or go to bars. I just don't have much in common with most of the wives. Education is a top priority of mine, and it just really aggravates me to see anyone waste their potential.
To the OP,
This is the exact reason why I will never live on base again. I have never seen such immaturity and gossip than when I lived on base in the first three years of my marriage. If you received a package, it meant that you were screwing the delivery man. I just kept to myself because I didn't want to be involved in the drama, and guess what? Rumors still floated around about my DH and I because we stayed out of everyone's business. We wouldn't participate in the drama, so the neighbors decided to try to bring it to us.
I do find it to be more prevalent on base because of age. In my experience, it is a much younger crowd who live on base, many just out of high school. They still have that "high school" mentality, and it is something that I want no part in. Many of the "older" wives have their own faults, but I find it to be more consistent with the younger wives.