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If baby is crying, but someone trying to comfort her, that is ok?

MarriedToMyLoveMarriedToMyLove
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Just checking. DH cannot get her to stop crying when he takes care of her, but he really tries. I have to be able to get my sleep, so I am trying to accept this. I am pretty dang tired.

So, if he is with her and trying to comfort her while she wails away, will that be ok- she knows someone is there for her?

 

I hate it cause I can get her to stop within seconds :(. Poor DH.

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Re: If baby is crying, but someone trying to comfort her, that is ok?

  • clayswifeclayswife
    In the first few weeks, DH couldn't get DS to stop crying either.  You do need your sleep!  Do you have a sling?? That's what ended up working for DH in those first weeks.
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  • jenifairiesjenifairies
    How long do you let that go on? I mean, in theory, if you're trying to comfort them, it's not really CIO. But I couldn't let DD just scream her head off with my mom and DH just so I could get some sleep.
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  • SuperCuteBenzSuperCuteBenz member
    Same thing happened here. DD was finally comfortable with DH around 2- 21/2 months. It is completely normal. As long as someone is comforting her then it isn't CIO.
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  • RufflesRamboRufflesRambo

    No suggestion for you because we are in the exact same boat. DH can't figure out how to calm DS when he's crying and I can - but I do need a break sometimes - although if he's really screaming with DH I do end up taking him...I'm interested to hear what others think.

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  • MarriedToMyLoveMarriedToMyLove

    If I interrupt, which I have, it just makes DH feel worse. Double edge sword.

     

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  • AgrippaAgrippa
    It's completely ok.  Your DH just has to find what works for him.  For a long time, my DH had methods of calming DS that didn't work for me, but were great for him!
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  • deegandeegan
    We're in the same boat. DH feels bad because he can't comfort him but he tries. I can't rest though when I hear him crying. I think if DH just keeps trying they'll eventually find their own relationship.
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  • jenifairiesjenifairies
    I'd prefer my DH feel bad than my baby scream. You have to give them time, but there comes a point where it's just not happening. At around 2 months she started allowing him to calm her. Now she loooves her daddy.
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  • SBMBride406SBMBride406
    My baby has colic, so I say it is ok. Especially since he is a preemie, its important we not let him waste oxygen and energy on screaming/crying, but if there is nothing you can do, there's nothing you can do.
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  • Amy SchrammAmy Schramm
    Sometimes, I can't sooth DS no matter what I do.  He doesn't cry alot but has maybe one or two short meltdowns a day.  I don't consider it CIO because I'm there with him trying to fix things.  Sometimes, DS will be screaming and I'll be working to fix things and he'll suddenly konk out asleep.  It's weird-- my doula said sometimes babies get really worked up from just eating or being overstimmed and need to yell a little. 
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  • Amrice78Amrice78
    Yes, it's ok. You're DH needs to learn how to soothe DC as well.  I know it's hard to hear them cry Sad
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  • la79alla79al member
    My DH will give up and give her back to me.  But there have been 2 or 3 times when DD was so tired she was crying no matter what I did with her.  I put her down, she cried, I picked her up, she cried.  And these lasted for 45 minutes.  I figure as long as she knows she has not been abandoned, she is fine. 
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  • rubydebrubydeb

    DH had a hard time the first week as well.  Then he read the Happiest Baby on the Block and started doing the shh'ing and swinging thing and now calms DS down pretty quickly.  We have different ways of calming him, and what works for him doesn't work for me...I think you just have to keep trying until you find a method that does.

    I definitely don't think that you are letting your DC CIO if you're trying to  soothe them.

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