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Pregnant after a Loss
I think I was unfriended
One of the girls on TTCAL unfriended me on FB. I don't know why, but it actually hurts. Granted I haven't been around all that much over there but I always thought I was supportive when she was having problems and with everything she was going through.
Oh well, nothing I can do about it I guess.
Oh and I don't like that my account doesn't work and I have to use the standby
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I think I was unfriended
Me too... but I guess that just shows true character.
I'm using my AE as well, the bump is being a dink today.
Harper Oksana, born on her due date, January 20, 2011, and the love of my life
I completely understand that. I think hiding someone and unfriending them is a little different.
I am guilty of unfriending several non bump people when they annoy me. I have even unfriended some from the boards, but mostly because we never "talked" on FB and it was kinda weird to still keep them as friends. I wouldn't let it bother you.
I think this is probably what it was. Not everyone gets the "hide" option. I'm sorry Dana, and I know this sounds weird, but I wouldn't take it all that personally.
I know. It was just surprising. I went on to say something to her (just a hi there) and I couldn't find her. Caught me off guard
Huh, really? I've actually been really happy with the way the boards have been interacting and giving each other support lately.
Huh. I've noticed the opposite, everyone seems to be co-mingling more than in the past few months. I was just thinking how nice it was that things were getting back to normal.
Maybe I've just taken a few threads that were started personally than, although I have still been over there (with the exception of the last couple days).
This. It's the first time I've actually felt comfortable enough to post on PgAL
I didn't want this post to start anything.
I like how the boards have been interacting. I haven't posted on TTCAL because I have my ticker and an u/s pic and I don't want to hurt anyone.
I am glad the TTCAL ladies come here and post.
Get outta town! We'd love to see you post over there, ticker and all.
:side eye:
Or it shows that your friends might be in pain. :shrug:.
I've been friended and unfriended (I assume) by TTCALers and PgALers, etc. I figure some people periodically thin their Friends lists and some people don't. I don't take it personally ever.
But I do know this: It can be very difficult to watch status updates & pics & bump pics, etc. when someone else is going through a pregnancy - even someone I love - and EVEN NOW!!! I hide and/or unfriend people because of it and not because my "true character" is bitter or petty. Because my "true character" is permanently scarred by 4 losses in 12 months.
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Again completely understand and I didn't want this to start a fight. I was just surprised.
Just give them some time. It doesn't surprise me, because during our third loss our minister encouraged me to practice extreme self-care.
My job, my friends, my husband would all be there for me - and would carry 100% of the load if they needed to - you know? I figure at times like this - when I'm pregnant and someone else is struggling to be or going through loss after loss - it's my duty as a friend to give them the space and/or support that they need. I wouldn't be surprised if your person refriends you after a time, you know?
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That's really hurtful that you would think it a reflection of character.
I just had loss #3 with no reason to believe I'll ever have a healthy baby. Unfriending is something I do because it's necessary to maintain sanity. Trust me, unfriending people is not something I relish.
I recently backed out of my bff's son's 1st birthday party. I feel pretty shiity doing that, too. But it's too soon and attending the party would be unhealthy for me at this point.
I hope this was just poorly worded and not truly a reflection of how you feel. I'm sorry your feelings might be hurt. But think about the shiity position the person on TTCAL must be in to feel unfriending is necessary.
I have to say I'm totally guilty of doing this as well, after my 3rd loss. The day I found out, the girl I had on my friends list was at the OB's for her appointment
I unfriended her after awhile because I got tired of the u/s photos. At the same time though, I wish I had hidden her instead of unfriending her and had said something to her in regards to being hurt and needing space (although I think this is also really hard to do when you have to think about your own healing). Either way it's not a win / win situation and is hurtful either way. 
I think that puts it so well. Self-care. That's it. That's what we have to do through all this.
Sorry, that's not really a comment on the unfriending discussion. I just like that phrase. It sums it up.
I agree. I also think we have to remember we were all there at one point and it is hard. It hurts to see posts and status updates no matter how happy you are for the person. For me (and I'm saying this FOR ME ONLY) it was a very painful reminder of everything I wanted so desperately and couldn't seem to get.