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I thought I had my familys support....

HappyMommy28HappyMommy28 member
in 2nd Trimester

Even before I got pregnant,  I had decided I wanted to do a natural birth with a midwife.  When I first told my family they seemed supportive of my decision.  Today we were talking and I mentioned that a home birth could be interesting.  My family was completly against that. I understand their concern.  (DH later told me that he would prefer we don't so were not) After that it got insane.

 I felt like I was being attacked.  I began talking about  the difference between a midwife and an OB.  They got loud telling me that I needed this medicine and that medicine.  We aren't in the wild west anymore so I need to use the medicine thats available.  My goodness whatever did women do before modern medicine?  I just want their support on my decision for my kid.   It's going to be born in a hospital by a midwife. Provided everything goes ok.  

The most hurtful comments were when they said that I couldn't do it because I don't like pain. Then they said if anything goes wrong I have to let the doctor come in and do whatever he/she wants, as if I would argue if there was an emergency!  Their lack of faith in me really hurt.  All I want is their support in my decision for a natural birth.   Anyone else deal with this?

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Re: I thought I had my familys support....

  • SweetPeanisSweetPeanis member
    And this is why I don't discuss my birth plans with anyone!  In all honesty, it's none of anyones business how you plan on bringing your baby into this world (as long as it's legal and gets the baby here safely).  I never understood why people felt it their business to know how you were planning on delivering your child. 
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  • KellyD01KellyD01 member
    Yes! My MIL was the worst with dS and still is this time...even tho I rocked my natural med free vag. birth w/ DS... The best advdice I can give you is not to look for them for support. Look to your H and or some type of labor support,  a doula, trusted friend, whatever! DO NOT discuss this with your family any further and if they bring it up change the subject. The best thing you can do for your  natural birth is to stop listening to anyone who says you can't do it!
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  • brownie123brownie123 member

    Did you know there's a new board called Natural Birth?  I just discovered it last night.  Even though it's not for me, I still found it interesting to read the posts and I think a lot of the girls can relate to you!  GL!

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  • LivingANDLovingLifeLivingANDLovingLife member
    Lurking and saw your post! My family was also against a "med-free" birth. When I explained I really wanted to deliver my LO without an epidural, my best friend who is also my sister in law told me she really "didn't think I could do it" (because she did it and says she has a much high tolerance to pain), even my mother told me that I need to use the medication available because "why would I want to put myself through something that isn't necessary?". It frustrated me, and ultimately discouraged me! I would 100% agree with the ladies on this board who say do not discuss your birthing method/plans because in the end your going to get someones negative comment! Good Luck!
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  • pepomntpatpepomntpat member
    This is why it is better to keep your plans between you and your DH. People are not at all supportive. You might want to check out the Natural Birth board as well. It is nice to have other women who are planning the same kind of birth to "talk" to.
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  • ashleydahlashleydahl
    Your plan is to deliver naturally in a hospital with a midwife...and they think that's the craziest thing ever?! I'm sorry you have to deal with that, it sounds as if they just aren't up to date on what's commonly practiced these days, or that there are other options available for women to acutally dictate their own birthing experience. My insurance is through Kaiser Permanente (really great coverage, have had an AMAZING experience so far) and their company-wide policy is that I will deliver in a hospital, with a midwife, and should anything go wrong, a doctor is always on-call, in-hospital to step in. I can make the decision to have the doctor deliver me if I were concerned, but midwives are really good at what they do-delivery is their thing! Don't let your family get you down-you're going to have a great experience, meds or not, doc or not.
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  • lake919lake919
    That would completely piss me off.  You're birth plan should be how YOU want it, not what THEY want.
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  • MSC03MSC03 member

    Honestly, this is why I don't really discuss my birthing plans with many people. It's my decision and deepest desire to go 100% natural and I understand that many people don't get it and never will--I know I won't convert them, so why bother.

    When people ask me specifically, I reply that I'm going natural, that it's how everyone in my family does it, and that I'm excited for it to finally be my turn. Then when they go on and on about pain, meds, etc I just don't say anything and eventually they shut up.

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