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Feeling guilty

dimakedimake
in Single Parents

The girls' custody arrangement is the way it is because I designed it.  I gave myself most of the responsibility because I want stability for my kids.  STBXH has one overnight every other weekend. 

I think it's probably a combination of PMS and staying out way too late last night and waking up way too early today (had to go see the SATC movie Cool) but when I got home after picking the girls up from their dad's this afternoon I felt the same way you would feel as a kid when a sleepover or something like that was over.  Just bummed that the good time is over and who knows when it will happen again... 

STBXH is keeping the girls later one evening this week so that I can go have dinner with some girlfriends, though, and I'm sure my next "off" weekend will come quickly.

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Re: Feeling guilty

  • FutureHardingsFutureHardings

    I feel that exact same way at times. STBHX has DS two days per week. Usually, depending on his work schedule, it is almost always one night each week included in those two days. 

    Even though I love the fact that I have him the majority of the time (because honestly, I don't trust STBXH to raise DS) I feel like a huge weight is lifted off of me when I don't have to worry about taking DS with me everywhere I go, etc.

    It makes me feel EXTREMELY guilty... but I try to look at it the best way I can... that I am with him 24/7 for 5-6 out of the 7 days of the week. A few hours away is ok.

    Right?

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  • blondnearbyblondnearby
    My stbx has our DDs 14 nonconsecutive days a year (he only takes about 8-10 though).  I don't even get to enjoy my "days off" when he does have them because I am too busy trying to cram as much as I can do sans kids in.  I usually end up feeling more overwhelmed because my schedule that I stick to every day has been broken and I know getting it back to where we are comfortable is going to take a least a month.  I can completely understand where you are coming from though.
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  • GettinNervousGettinNervous
    I love my "me" time, because it's so hard when I take care of them alone. I know they are in good hands when they are with XH. I usually spend my free time cleaning, shopping (groceries/clothes/whatever), having a bite with a friend or sister, getting ready for the next week. So it's not like I'm hitting the bars or something. Don't feel guilty. I used to, but not any more. I need to recharge my batteries.
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  • ErinC27ErinC27

    I used to dread visits, but now I really do enjoy them. Unfortunately, they don't happen regularly (maybe every other week for 8 hours on a Saturday). I find myself wishing STBXH would take his visits every Saturday like they are scheduled not only for DD, but for me to get something done! I only have 8 more weekends max to get ready for this new baby and I am no where near where I need to be!

     

    Sorry, mini vent over. Don't feel guilty. You do a lot, you deserve some "me" time. 

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  • alibabbbsalibabbbs
    This post makes me hopeful, actually. I am a COMPLETE mess when Deadbeat takes DS. He's only actually taken him twice, each for about 90 minutes (and that's in the 5 months since Deadbeat moved out, and only because his mom was in town). Otherwise, I have DS. But I could not have been more upset during that time. I worried about Deadbeat dropping him, not changing his diaper, etc. but mostly I just missed the HELLL out of my son. I wanted him back with me. I don't think I stopped crying the entire time each time. Friends have told me it will get easier the older DS gets. The opposite of this would be to actually enjoy the time away, which it sounds like you ladies are able to do.
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