Northern California Babies
Holy self doubt!
I know that a lot of this is being a first time Mom, and the post partum hormones are not helping things either, but I am having a super rough time.
DH had to go back to work when O was only 4 days old, so I have been home by myself. Family lives on the east coast, so that's out of the question. Of course as soon as DH leaves for work, O starts the uncontrollable screaming and crying, and I can't figure anything out. So I end up crying just as inconsolably as O. I know that things will get better, but right now that seems so far away. And I feel like a total failure as a mom, because I can't do anything to make him feel better. Ugh.
Sorry to vent, I just feel isolated and need to get it all out!
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Re: Holy self doubt!
First, congratulations on your son!
And second, huge hugs! That first week is HARD. You're still recovering, DS is demanding, and you're trying to figure him out. It's a lot!
I know it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel right now, but really, it gets better soon. You're not a failure! Just keep trying your best. You and DS will find your groove eventually.
And don't worry about venting, that's what we're here for! Take it easy, mama.
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I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I could not have imagine being on my own so quickly, that has got to be hard. I 2nd the Moby wrap or something similar. I saved my sanity during fussy periods. Sometimes the only thing that worked was to wrap him up, head out for a fast walk. He'd fall asleep after 10 min or so but if I dared to go home or stop walking he'd instantly wake up. Drove me nuts but at least he wasn't screaming.
Also at that age I had no idea about sleep cycles, have you read any sleep books? A baby should only be awake for 1-2 hours at that age and unfortunately they don't all just fall asleep when tired. As soon as you see tired signs (eye rubs, yawning, although for some babies that is overtired. With my kiddo as soon as he started to get quiet, I started settling in for sleep) I learned that at the 1 1/2 hour mark I needed to stop moving around and make sure there was zero stimulation. I'd sit on the couch with him on my chest and sing rub his back or head, feed him ect and then off he'd drift.
Good luck and hang out here more often, it will help for sure. Where are you?
Big hugs! Ditto pp's. Those first few weeks are so rough. The little ones are so demanding and don't give much back (smiles, laughs etc) for awhile. I agree the Moby was my lifesaver. It was the only way DD got what she wanted (to be on me) and I got a little freedom back (2 hands!)
Thanks for the encouragement ladies, I definitely needed a boost!
I do have a Moby wrap, but get a little freaked out that he isn't sitting right in there and that his chin is tucked too far into his neck.
I am in San Francisco, living in the heart of the Mission. It's great!
Big hugs!!!! we had a fusser too. For us, we also religiously adhered to the 1-2 hours rule, and to get my baby to sleep we had to do the Happiest Baby on the Block routine all the time. It was a lifesaver. If you don't have that DVD it is a MUST buy. Works like a charm. We got those Aiden and Anais blankets and swaddled her up and did the whole shusshing and rocking and bouncing routine all day long. What also worked GREAT was to put on the blowdryer on high. She would calm down to the sound of it immediately. We also had tons of white noise on (and actually still do) when she sleeps. I downloaded a CD off Itunes " help your baby sleep through the night" and basically had it on continuous cycle in her/our room.
For us, outside walks, car rides and babywearing didn't work as well as it does for others. The moby was sometimes good in the cradle hold and sometimes not. I think at this age it worked but a few weeks later she hated it. Now she loves it again because she can face out). But I didn't want her on me all the time.
Is there anyone you can have come over a bit to help out? Even someone like a mother's helper you can pay to at least do a little housework for you so you can get a nap?
First off, big congratulations on your son!!! And big hugs, it will get easier soon.
Carrying the baby worked great with Sarah too, although she hated the wrap, but she loved being in the Baby Bjoern and would sleep for many hours in it. She also loved being in the stroller in the baby seat when she was really little. Basically any movement would put her right to sleep. And the sleep cycles are helpful to know about too.
You are so close to us - we live on Potrero Hill but on the Mission side. I run with Sarah in the stroller all the time through the Mission as it is flat.
Congrats on your son!
ditto PP...they first couple weeks are really rough. We LOVED our moby and it was what kept me sane when DH went back to work when Lilly was 6 days old. She would sleep a good 2 hours in that thing and I could get some stuff done or really, sleep with her!
Sleep cycles are huge too, like pp said. I know a lot of people put 1-2 hours...Lilly is 7 months old and her longest stretch of awake time is 2.25 hours...that is not a lot for a baby her age but she really loves her sleep....but 2 hours at the newborn stage is a lot imo and baby can get really overtired which means more fussiness. This is the guide we follow for sleep:
Newborn: 50-60 minutes (Lilly was at 50 minutes at this age and would take LONG naps)
1 Month: 1 hour - 1hr 15 minutes
2 Months: 1 hour 15 minutes-20 minutes
3 Months: 1 hour 20 minutes-30 minutes
4 Months: 1 hour 45 minutes- 2hours
5 Months: 2 hours- 2.25. hours
Late 5 months/Early 6 months: 2.25 hours- 2.5hours
6.5- 7months: 2.75 - 3 hours (Some babies are getting a little more)
8-10 months: 3-4 Hours (some are getting more)
11-12 Months: 3.5-4.5 hours (Some are getting more especially if moved early to one nap).
The awake time includes the time you take to rock baby to sleep...For example, when 2 hours hits, Lilly gets real fussy and I start to get her ready for bed and she is down in her crib sleeping at 15 minutes later so her awake time is 2.25 hours.
If Lilly shows signs of sleepiness before the guideline time, we put her to sleep early...but if she gets to the guideline time and she seems ok, we still put her down for a nap....she does great with it...takes good naps (2+ hours) and sttn so I figure it must be working. (now that I typed that, she won't anymore...you know how that goes!)
I think I read this sleeping guideline in babywise..
Anyhow..you are doing great...it's really tough...but you'll get through it and it will get easier!