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How do you do birthdays?

alibabbbsalibabbbs
in Single Parents

Two parties? Both sides of the family at one party?

I've been stressing out about DS's first birthday. I don't see the need to do something huge, but I would like to get people together for a little celebration. I can't stand the thought of there being two parties because 1) I can't stand the thought of a celebration of his birthday that I'm not a part of, and 2) I don't want to set the precedent that DS needs to have two separate celebrations.

But I'm also having a hard time with the thought of one party with both sides of the family. It's all I could stomach to invite Deadbeat, but oh god, his mom and sister? I'd die. For some reason they hate me (I only know this because they "unfriended" me on fb!), even though he's the one who left.

What would you or do you do???

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Re: How do you do birthdays?

  • kirbearkirbear member

    For dd's 1st birthday we did two separate parties, but we each went to the other one's party (in fact I planned both of them) but we were very amicable at that point, not knowing if we were divorcing or staying together etc... but his mom had made some rude comments about my family- so no way I was inviting his family to my families boat club!!

    Since then we have divorced and we do two separate parties.  On his side he just has cake with his parents and sisters, so it's not even really a party.  I have a family/friend party for her and then also do a kids party in which I invite him to come if he wants.  I do not invite his family though as they have made no attempt to stay in contact with me or dd.  This has worked well for us, but we get along pretty well most of the time- as long as I have no expectations of him as a dad! haha

    He gets time with her on her birthday as well and at first that was hard- and it still is a bit, but I have learned to deal with it and to use that time to get things done!  But, it sort of is a fact of life when you have to share holidays etc, and it does get easier! Good luck in making a decision that works for you!

    Kirsten DD 4-7-06
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  • fauxshelleyfauxshelley member
    I threw a big party for Pumpkin and invited her friends and cousins on her father's side.  I had a small party for my family, basically dinner and gifts.  Her father took her to dinner with his family and they gave her gifts too.  The only issue we had with that many parties was that she would get WAY too many presents, but we have had this problem for years before we split up.  For the past 3 years, I put on the friend invitation that in lieu of presents for the birthday girl, she would like a donation made to Toys for Tots (her bday is in Nov).  After the friend party, we take all of the gifts to the drop off location.  Anything she gets from family she keeps. 
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  • mrgnmrgn member
    I am hoping we can do one big party, but I'm not sure that his extended family would be comfortable. If they want to throw a party for her, they can. I would be okay with it. I attended a get together with his family a couple months ago so they could meet DD and they were very kind and treated me well. Things have been good with our situation lately so here's to hoping it goes well! There's still 5 months until she's 1 though, so who knows what will happen.
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  • AngiesmommyAngiesmommy
    I throw her one big party. If anyone from her dads family wants to come, that's great. But I dont do anything special to accomidate.
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  • FutureHardingsFutureHardings

    I have already booked the location for Max's 1st birthday party. In my family, the 1st birthday party is HUGE. Then again, so is my family.

    The two sides do not get along in the least bit, and so two "parties" are going to be held. BUT, his family is made up of four people total, so it will most likely just be cake at their house. The actual "party" will be with my family.

    On his actual birthday, I am going to have him. I am the one that put up with the pain of delivery... I get that right, IMHO. Just sayin'.

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  • dimakedimake

    Last year we were separated and my STBXH was still riding the fence on what he wanted, so we threw a party together at the house.

    The plan so far for this year is for him to come to the partes that I will host for the girls, along with his family (he only has his mom, brother, brother's GF, and our niece - all on my side!).  My family is massive.  I plan on telling him "no skanks allowed" though Stick out tongue

    As long as we stay "amicable" that should be the plan.

     

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  • inbetweeninbetween

    I just had dds birthday party saturday!

    When H first left we discussed her birthday party and he left with a 'she's my daughter still, can't I come to her party?' So, I invited him.

    However, 2 weeks ago I found prom pictures of him and his gf plastered all over the internet, and lost it. I uninvited him, and told him he could do his own thing.

    I don't know what or if he did anything for dds birthday party, but my party was a hit!

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