Blended Families
Phantomgirl
member
Anyone remember???
Phantomgirl
member
My post about not wanting to marry my Fi because he has a child?
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Re: Anyone remember???
Nope. Can't say I do.
I remember SOMEONE calling their s/o a child recently but it wasn't you. I think it was someone fairly new to the board.
She definitely did...which is fine.
I have stayed out of this for a very long time....but I have to call you out on this one.
I have been here for 4 years now (today is my anniversary). Phantom has NEVER posted about not wanting to marry FI BECAUSE he had a son. EVER.
Hell, I have been known to commented that she is MORE of a parent than FI on a number of occassions....so I highly doubt any of her issues are SS related.
So unless you can find and direct us to the post............let it die.
Unfortunately, I do remember it.
It was back in the days you were still working w/ FI at the furniture place and BM wanted custom cabinets or something. There was a lot going on and it was when you realizing you and he weren't meant to work together.
It was a lot of emotional release and you got a lot of good support.
For the record just you waivered, just because you questioned doesn't mean a d@mn thing except that you are a thoughtful human being and you realized the importance and permenance of your decision. You talked your way through it. Changes were made and you haven't regetted your decision.
OMG I so remember that. Fi and I had just started dating more or less. We opended a furniture shop together after about 3 months of dating. I was only new to the board and it was these things that brought me here I am sure. I worked with Fi for 12 months and then returned to my old place of work in Jan 09. I am currently back here 1.5 years. So we are talking about 2.5+ years ago and I am dating Fi just over 3 years. At the time I posted that I was probably about 3-6 months into my relationship. BM was walking in to the shop like she owned it and wanting Fi to do lots of work to her house. Ironically Fi got tired of it eventually and asked her to stop.
I am not sure I would have said I didn't want to marry him though as we only got engaged last May (12 months ago). That would have been a tad presumptuous lol
I would love to be able to find these post. If only so I can see how far we have come.
If I search nothing comes up.
I think you Xposted here after getting flammed and I probably did direct you here clicky link and all.
I don't think you ever said in so many words about not marrying your FI it was more or less I need to rethink my relationship, I need to redifine my role, I need to find my place, Am I over doing my role as GF/future stepmom? ..type stuff. You were really just feeling your way blind through the relationships and the histories of BM and FI.
I am late to the party (was dropping off DD at my mom's) but THIS RIGHT HERE!
Anyone who will say differently is either seriously suffering from delusions or is lying to themselves and everyone one around them.
I know when DH and I first started getting serious I asked myself that question on a weekly basis. I did the same thing when DD was born.
Oh my! Lol.
I'm now remembering something about a crazy BM who still acted married to your now DH.
How the hell do you guys remember all this stuff?! That'st just crazy. I need to keep a little notepad with all of your backstories in it so I can run back for the last 4 years and call you out on crap. Lol
Was this cross post about three years ago, the June timeframe? If so, then my mind is not RUNNING away from me, just meandering.
I was in Korea/Thailand/China for a month and missed a bunch.
PHEW
This! I have been here since day one of the Step Parenting board...well technically here before The Nest and The Bump so that would be before FI and TIP both and I barely remember anyone's entire story.
That said, having feelings that you are not cut out to be a parent are totally normal, hell I will go as far as to say you likely such as a parent if you never felt that way b/c it shows you are enough to be concerned.