i feel like i'm in the minority, or maybe it's because i've already had a baby and dealt with unsolicited advice in general. the only people who know i am planning on an intervention-free birth are my husband, my dr, my doula and my ILs. Even still, my IL's don't know the "details" of it and they won't be at the hospital when it all goes down.
Re: is anyone else keeping their med-free plans to themselves?
Nope, but I wish we would have. We have gotten lots of negativity from family on both sides, and even the ones who "act" supportive, say differently when DH and I arent around.
I would say that next time we will keep it to ourselves, but if I can do it once then people will probably shut their mouths next time.
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three
Luckily, my family is very supportive of natural childbirth. Somehow, my mom and step-mother escaped the medicated 80s and had six children naturally between them. So, on that front, no problem.
When it comes to friends, however, TOTALLY different story. When I mention that I would like to have a natural childbirth, they really take affront. "Oh, you'll want that epidural, believe me." I'm not trying to say that what they did was wrong, it's just not my plan. So I'm not really saying much to friends.
Most of my immediate family is supportive and knows our plans - my sister is also pg and is planning a home birth, so I can definitely freely talk to her about it, heh heh. We don't talk to our older sister about it, though - she gets really, really defensive really fast about her births.
I don't bring up my birth politics with friends or more distant family members unless it comes up or I'm asked about it directly.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Amen.
Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
for me it's not a "secret" but i'm not going to advertise it and invite negativity before the birth happens, because the privacy and positive energy is important to me. there are so many posters on here dealing with the negative aftermath when they announce their plans to everyone, but obviously it's too late to undo that once it's out there.
Pretty much this is the case for me, too. I fought the fight for the first 7 months and argued with people the pros and cons, but for this last spell I am going into silent mode to keep the nonsense out of my head. No one knows we hired a doula, no one but my husband and doula (and medical staff) will be there, and I know where I am at so that's all there is.
It shouldn't be this way, but going low profile seems to be the better way to go. People seem more eager to send to a mental institute than to suport you. Snide remarks can be very hurtful. However, they make you feel all the more accomplished when you go natural.