I feel like an a$$ - advice needed (long)

When my grandpa found out we were going to do IVF he offered me the money for it on the spot.  Seriously within about 20 seconds of my saying that DH & I were going to have to do IVF he said "how much money do you need, honey?"  and he was completely willing to loan it to me.  He's one of the most generous people I've ever met.  He is my step-dad's father & I didn't grow up around him (mom & SD got married when I was in college) but I consider him as much, if not more, of a grandpa to me than the grandpa I knew growing up.  He has loaned $$ to many of his grandkids, none of whom have even attempted to pay him back.  Some don't even come see him anymore.  When he made the original offer, I thanked him for the offer & told he we were ok.  That we'd been saving for about a year and, combined with our tax return, we were going to have enough.

I never imagined our IVF cycle was going to end the way it did.

After talking to our RE and doing some healing, DH & I are are eager to move on to a FET cycle.  Our RE would really like us to try as soon as we are ready (July or Aug).  It will take us well into next year to save the money (we also have to save enough to cover my salery for a pay period as I am out of PTO & will have to take FMLA).  DH & I were talking to my parents & they suggested that we ask my g-pa if we can borrow the money.  After a few days of thinking about it I decided I am ok with this.  DH & I sat down yesterday and came up with a plan for paying him back & were just trying to find a day that we were both off & didn't already have plans to go talk to g-pa about it.   We're supposed to go up there on Sunday.

I talked to my step-dad today and got the news that my g-pa's health is declining rapidly.  His alzeimers is starting to cause him problems & he just doesn't think that g-pa will be around past this summer.  Step-dad still thinks I should ask to borrow the money.  I didn't feel the greatest about asking to begin with, but had made my peace with it - mostly b/c he had already offered & I know it would make him happy to help.  Now, knowing that his health is declining much more rapidly than any of us anticipated, I just feel like an a$$ for asking.  Ultimately it's my Uncle John who controls the money (he's the POA & lives with g-pa) so we would pay him back if grandpa's health doesn't improve, but ugh! 

Do I still ask?  do I not?  I was devistated when we lost this pregnancy and couldn't see how we were going to ever afford a FET cycle.  Then there was this glimmer of hope when we decided to ask to borrow the money.  Now, I feel like I've been punched in the gut.  My grandpa is probably dying and I'm conflicted about asking for the money.  I don't want to loose any more.  I don't want to loose my g-pa.  I don't want to loose any more time not having a child with DH.  I want off this rollercoaster.  I've had enough.