Blended Families
Phantomgirl
member
mom2one
Phantomgirl
member
I totally forget your story or maybe you never shared it. Can you refresh my mind?
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Re: mom2one
I have lived every minute of my son's life for his best interests, following the mantra of "love the child more than you hate your ex." I get extremely frustrated when people are petty about spending extra time or money on their kids. For me there is never a question.
Our income is sufficiently high that the judge agreed it was ridiculous to take money from Ex when it could be better served at his house. I had to sign a million things though.
Maybe it is time to put your interests first for a while and get back out into the world. I am sure you are an awesome mum but your son will eventually grow up and fly to coup.
LOL just because I have put my son's needs in our blended family situation first doesn't mean anything else is lacking. Unlike you, I am not stuck at work feeling resentful all the time. You are still young and don't have to tie yourself down yet. You have mentioned before not being sure being a stepmother is for you. Maybe you should rethink it.
Don't let her get under your skin Phantom.
People who have to profess how great they are as a parent, are usually only saying it to convince themselves of it, when in reality usually the opposite is true. And anyone delusional enough to believe they have never ONCE put anything before their child's best interests is full of malarkey or living in fantasy.
mom2one - Really? Really????
Personally, I'm fairly disgusted with your posts. My situation with BM is ideal. In fact, if DH weren't so weirded out about it, lol, I think we'd be good friends. We go to dinner after SD's events, etc. We all work together to look after SD's best interests and act like civilized adults. We never bash the other in front of her, and try to build up each other as much as possible in her eyes (doesn't always work, since we have extremely different religious/parenting beliefs, but we try our hardest).
HOWEVER, not everyone is in the ideal situation. Not everyone has ex's or BM's that are actually sane, rational people. And even if everyone involved IS by chance sane, they may just not get along.
I get fairly irritated with many of the situations discussed on this board, but I'm mature enough to realize NOT EVERYONE IS IN MY SITUATION. Pull your head out and stop being so rude.
I agree. It's common sense. What isn't making sense to me is why you're choosing to turn a totally valid question into an example of horrible SP'ing.
Tell me in Phantom's situation why you're jumping all down her throat for asking if she can request BM talk with her about her schedule Iinstead of an 8yo child) and try and let her plan her life? How is that not putting DC first? How is that being a horrible person?
This isn't true. Some people deal with things that are just out of control. There are more than a few SMs on here who have BMs who have dedicated their lives to causing problems. There are BMs on here who have ex's who mistreat the children. There are people on here who have done all they can to have a decent situation and there is just no way for that to happen for them.
duchess - I *think* the point she's trying to make is that things can be easy if EVERYONE involved puts the child first. And of course. Duh. Not new information.
But it's NOT easy when only one side puts the child first, and the other causes constant problems and drama.
But here's the thing, I do get along with BM. I have gone out to eat with her, gone to football games with her and just spent an entire day at her mothers house a few weeks ago for SSs First Communion. I also believe that if it were not for the situation we are in she and I could be friends.
She is very supportive of me in SSs life and neither of us ever say a negative word about each other. All SS cloths, games, book everything go between houses and we simply call to each others houses to swap back. She always invites me in for tea and vice versa.
I would argue that we have one of the most ideal BF relationships on this board.
If you are getting I RESENT MY SS from the fact that CS was recently lowered then you are wrong. CS was lowered because when SS was born Fi was earning ?150K+ per year. His company went under in Jan of this year and he currently does not have a steady wage at all. Nothing to do with resenting SS and everything to do with the economy. We told BM in Jan of this year what was happening and lowered CS in May, she had 5 months to prepare.
Continuing to pay her the same amount was simply not possible because we don't have it.
Are you mixing me up with someone else? I have been engaged for 12 months now and I have NEVER reconsidered marrying Fi. I don't remember ever posting about that unless it was like 2 years ago and I reconsidered the relationship.
Maybe it's a cultural thing but I don't understand that saying.
Aagh got ya, I like that one.