Your sage advice...

Mrsjulybride · May 2010

My due date is tomorrow so I thought I'd ask if there was anything you wish you had known before becoming a working mom, or what advice you would give to a new working mom. Fortunately, I'll have some time with our new arrival and plan to head back to work in September (which part of me is already dreading). Any books that are a must have for help with "work / life balance"? TIA!

AshlynsMom · May 2010

Your house will never be messier. And you can't send your kid back no matter how overwhelmed you might feel. Don't feel badly (or try not to) if you can't/don't want to take on quite as much at work now. (I've bowed out of some committees I had volunteered to be on in the past, for example.)

I asked my DCP to not tell me when my kids hit firsts at her house. I want to think the first time I see him roll over is the first time he's ever done it, etc. I think this is wonderful, even though I know it's weird.

BoxTer · May 2010

The anticipation of going back to work seems to be worse than actually being back. Try not to waste the time you have with your baby worrying about that first day. You might even find yourself looking forward to going back to work and getting into your old routine and that's OK too.

It'll take you awhile to get used to your new routine. Your house may not be as clean, you may not cook as often - you'll be in survival mode at first. Don't try to be a hero. Just prioritize as best you can, take help when it's offered and ENJOY your baby. Oh, and get a crock pot if you don't already have one, lol.

The_Jen626 · May 2010

Know that the anticipation of going back to work is AWFUL. But, going back to work, really isn't that bad!

Schedule a date night with your DH. Pay for a babysitter, it's worth it.

I have a housekeeper and it's WORTH IT. Every Thursday my house is spotless!

trinny · May 2010

BoxTer:
The anticipation of going back to work seems to be worse than actually being back. Try not to waste the time you have with your baby worrying about that first day. You might even find yourself looking forward to going back to work and getting into your old routine and that's OK too.

Totally agree with this. Don't overthink going back to work or trying to prepare your LO and just live in the moment and enjoy your maternity leave. I feel like I stressed too much about getting DD to take a bottle, napping in a crib, illnesses she *might* catch, etc. You'll both adjust and your LO will probably surprise you with how resiliant they can be.

And I also agree about looking forward to work. I was actually really happy to be getting back to things, even though I do miss DD.

rcbuko · May 2010

What helped me was realizing that I couldn't do it all . . . and it was okay. I am very committed to my DD and very committed to my career but not committed to keeping the house clean or having a great meal on the table every day. My DH is an equal partner and that helps a whole, whole bunch but we have both made the decision to put DD first. My house isn't the cleanest but we have a very happy little girl who gets lots of quality time with her parents when we are around.

Congratulations on your baby's impending birth. Being a mom has been the best thing ever for me.

03Tanzanite · May 2010

Ive been back to work since sept... it is hard. Just keep in mind that you cannot do everything. If you are like me, you will try. It will not work. And after a while you will realize you have to let something go. But it is worth it. My baby is the most wonderful that happened to me...

P.G.&A.M. · May 2010

Learning to let the little stuff go was hard for me, but it had to happen. I try to focus on the bigger picture now. If the house is messier now, so be it. I'd rather spend time with the boys after work than cleaning. They grow up so fast, and I know that in 20 years that's what's going to be important to me- the time I spent with them- not how clean my house was.

sgrl · May 2010

ITA with not letting worrying about going back to work spoil your maternity leave.

Consider getting someone to clean your house. We're just now going down this road and I wish we had earlier.

ShoeFanatic614 · May 2010

I've only been back at work for 2 weeks but I suggest taking lots of pictures while you're home. It helps put a smile on your face when you're missing them at work.

2-Step · May 2010

I was very worried about going back, but I found that after the stress and craziness of having a baby and figuring out all that routine etc for three months, work was actually refreshing at first. I was hard to leave DS, but at the same time I was back in a world I knew well and a place that I could control and understand the outcomes of my actions. Learning to live with a new baby is the opposite! So, moral of the story is, yes it is hard, but like pper said, don't worry about it beforehand. You may find that work is a great thing for you and your LO. Right now I would feel guilty taking DS out of daycare, he LOVES it there. Take it one day at a time. There will be good and bad days, but it will be fine, I promise.

michelcreek · May 2010

I'm part of a Womens network at work and they had a speaker talk to us about work life balance. The main point I took from it was to not feel guilty. To do the best you can, and leave the guilt behind. I travel for work and it used to just kill me to leave, until I heard her speak and decided to not feel bad and do something about it. So now I tell my kids a few days before I go, ask what they'd like me to get them from where ever I'm at, and tell them what we're going to do when I get home. It took a while, but now things like that are so much easier. Congrats :-)

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