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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Home birth that bothers me.....
I don't know why but I am just disgusted by my sister in law, well I guess I know why. It must be that I just disagree so much with her choices that I can't get over it. I am not against home births in general, if it's done the right way. But they don't even have any ultrasounds to make sure that a home birth is safe for their baby and that is what gets me, it just seems so irresponsible all for the sake of saving a few bucks, which is literally why they don't have the US and have the babies by their fireplace on their living room floor. Then she posts on her fb page some link to a site about how many babies are born safe at home, where there is pictures of these ladies laying on their beds breast feeding with literally no clothes on. She is a strict Catholic and pretty much only has sex when it is time to try to get knocked up again, how can she be supportive of a page with pictures of half naked people on it? I just can't get over it, she's about to have another one any day now, I just hope that the baby is safe and healthy. UGH. I know this may piss some people off but like I said I'm not against home births, just seems they are not taking precautions to make sure its safe for their child.
Snuggling after a nap!
Claira 2 yrs and Sophia 11 months
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Re: Home birth that bothers me.....
Our next will be at home. It's not to save money, it's to get away from the process and procedures that "must" be done at a hospital. I do not and will not ever do that again. Some people just do NOT want to give birth in a hospital. Most home birth require you to have a normal healthy pregnancy before they will allow you to give birth at home. So really you don't need a u/s. Try to think back to the old days where it was not a requirement. Lots of birthing was done at home.
Also nudity doesn't bother me personally. But I do think it is strange to post it on your fb.
I completly see where your coming from. When I was pregnant my babies safety was my main concern. And ensuring he had a safe delivery when he needed to come.
I guess your SIL just feel that since women did home births for thousands of years without much medical intervention (and obviously a sonagram wasnt available then) then she will be just fine and health....
No wait isnt that when having a baby more often then not was the lead cause of death in women....Hmm?
And infant mortality was high too
Ummm what does being Catholic have to do with not supporting homebirth and getting panties in a twist over homebirth/breastfeeding pics? Good for her for seeing childbirth and the human body as a natural thing, not something gross.
Most people have two ultrasounds, some only have one, the growth U/S at 20w so it's not like an U/S is going to tell them much anyway. What do you think the mothers of the 70's did without U/S?
I know of someone who had a baby that was not developing right and had an accelerated heartbeat and her midwife said it was fine. So two months later at 41 weeks she goes into labor. She was determined to have a home birth so she goes at it for 12 hours until the midwife decides that the baby isn't tolerating things well. So they take her to the hospital and she immediately gets taken in for an emergency c/s. The baby didn't make it....she was 41 weeks and weighed only 5.5 pounds.
She feels incredibly guilty now knowing that she should have had a second opinion about the prenatal red flags and whether it was safe to have a home birth. No flames...but if I had a baby where there's some possible health issues developing in utero, I would not try to have the baby at home.
Infant mortality in the US is still high.
I'm not opposed to home birth, but I think a home birth without having had ultrasounds is a very risky decision. I was born in 1981, before ultrasounds were standard. I was born 5 weeks early and my mother, a hippy, had considered home birth and her father, an OB, advised against it. Turns out I had a serious complication that would have been diagnosed via ultrasound today and had she given birth at home I would have passed long before help could arrive. If someone wants to have a home birth, that's their prerogative and, with proper medical care leading up to the birth, can be a reasonable decision. But, if that baby has something wrong with him/her that could have been detected, she'll never forgive herself.
Yes, up until the 1920s everyone gave birth at home without any sort of ultrasounds and hospitals in general do intervene more than is necessary. But, I wouldn't want to return to the maternal and fetal mortality rates of 100 years ago. Up until the mid-twentieth century childbirth was the #1 cause of death for women...
I had a home birth.
It was an amazing experience and one that I hope to repeat for our next child.
I had three U/S, all of the same genetic testing, monitoring during labor and loads of photos.
My midwives are two of the most skilled and experienced in CA and I loved that they included me in every step of the way. When they first arrived at my house one of their blood preassure readings had my BP high. They were ready to take me to the hospital right then and there b/c even a mildly elevated BP would not have qualified us for the home birth. Once they took my BP with the cuff and it was fine I was cleared to stay at home.
I am SO thankful that I could be at home for the difficult and mildly complicated birth of Sadie. I chose to have a home birth with people who were top notch medically trained. If I chose not to have the more medical home birth then it would have been my choice.
I get judged all the time for my choices. Even though I would not choose to do what your SIL has done it is her choice and judging her does no one any good.
im so confused!?! what does not having an ultrasound have to do with having a baby at home? will a midwife be there with her? im sure she will have something to check the baby's heart beat and make sure the baby is doing okay throughout delivery and after the baby is born.
my sister had a home birth (her 1st baby) b/c she did NOT want a hospital/insurance company dictating what she could/couldn't do. she had a midwife and i think ONE u/s (again, i'm in total agreement .. u/s bfd.. my mom had 4 kids in the mid to late 70's and not one u/s) and went overdue.
scared the crap outta my mom who is all for birth in a homelike environment w/ all the modern medical equipment around the corner JUST IN CASE. she didn't breathe until she heard that my sister and her THIRD granddaughter were safe and sound.
again, i know of a few averted birth horror stories ... my mom for some reason was the go-to girl when cousins of hers called her frantically asking that she talk THEIR daughters out of doing home births (one time it was a DAMN good thing the baby was born at a hospital - despite being full term, i had a cousin who had not quite fully formed lungs that required IMMEDIATE medical assistance after he was born. something that would NOT have happened had she birthed him at home) ... ironically my mom couldn't talk my sister out of a home birth
ummm... get your head out of your ass and stop judging her
This.
I think you're being overly judgy.
Home birth is not for everyone. Doesn't mean it's not a wonderful option for her.
I admire women who have homebirths. I had a great hospital birth experience but if I had to do it over again, I would have gotten off my lazy_ass and done enough research to have a home birth.
I totally agree with you. I'm fine with home births, but I really think that taking the necessary precautions is so important. What's more important? Saving a couple of dollars, or having a live baby? That's why I'm glad that your country now has government health care--so people don't have to make those kinds of choices anymore. In Canada, my birth cost me exactly zero dollars. We didn't have insurance when we had our DS, and I paid nothing.
ETA: I just wanted to point out to previous posters that she said her SIL is not having any ultrasounds because she doesn't want to pay for them. I take issue with that. She could have placenta previa, the baby could be transverse or breech, there could even be heart problems that could make a vaginal birth risky, but she has no idea about any of that stuff because she didn't get a u/s. So if she has the baby at home and the baby has a heart condition, how are they going to get him/her to the hospital in time? There is a lot that can go wrong. Just assuming that everything is "probably" fine is really irresponsible, IMO.
OK, the OP is concerned about a breech or transverse birth, possibly low aminotic fluid ect. All things that are not fatal to mom or baby if diagnosed by ultrasound. When you think back to the "good old days" remember that many more women and children died in childbirth.
The only thing I see wrong with this is that they didn't get an ultrasound.
I know the midwife can feel if the baby is breach, but I have heard stories of baby flipping the day before delivery and causing huge complications. My son was breach until the night before my last NST ultrasound before my induction. That god he flipped!
The midwife can also not detect heart defects like holes in the heart just by using fetal doppler. This can present huge complications later. It would be better to be aware of this beforehand and not be shocked by a gasping blue baby one night.
If I was trying to have a minimally invasive home birth with just midwives I would still have done the level II ultrasound at 20 weeks.
If they don't want to spend the money on a hospital ultrasound this is fine. There are 3D companies that only charge 100 dollars and they can tell you if the baby is breach, but these techs will tell you nothing (at least mine wouldn't) about the health of your baby.
What would she do if she had GD or PIH that required frequent NST's and U/S's (like me)?
I'm a huge supporter of home birthing.
I get that if you just don't like your SIL in general her choices might annoy you, but that doesn't mean she's being a bad mom for having her kids at home and not having an u/s.
There are quite a few midwives that disapprove of u/s unless there is reason to suspect that there is a medical problem with the baby or mom.
I am very seriously contemplating a home birth this time and it would cost me about 5x more than a hospital birth due to my insurance coverage. I had a very rough delivery with my DD, but I still feel there are some very big advantages to having your kids at home.
Midwives can't feel placenta previa.
But most women don't get an ultrasound when they go into labour. I only had one at 20 weeks and planned a homebirth. The midwife can feel to make sure the baby is in the right position.