Arrrrgh VENT bad morning already

fricksgirl · May 2010

Alex is NOT adjusting well to Daddy taking over bedtime 100%. My hubby pulls the good cop/bad cop thing at bedtime and totally gives in to anything Alex wants- "I need to wash my hands, I need a snack, I need ____". Then I have to go in and regulate and be the "mean one". It's basically been like this since I've started handing over bedtime duty but I'm sick of it and started having DH do it solo.

So for the past 4-5 nights I've been leaving DH to it himself. And it's out. of. control. Total Super Nanny episode. I'm trying to coach him on what he has to do (say "It's bedtime" and GET OUT) but he keeps caving, claiming that he "talked to Alex and he won't do it tomorrow night"... and guess what? Tomorrow comes and he does it again. And again and again and again.

Every night he doesn't even ask or call or cry for me because he KNOWS I won't put up with it. He doesn't do it when I put him down or at naptime- he's totally playing DH and DH has to learn to stand his ground... but the price we are paying is honestly hellacious, esp when I'm so, so pregnant.

So needless to say the past 4-5 nights Alex has been up waaaay past his bedtime(like 60-90 minutes past his bedtime). Which means he's up all the earlier the next day. And his behavior is absolutely atrocious. And I almost feel like it's not really his fault because I know why he's doing it... he needs his sleep.

I appreciate my DH and I know he needs to find his way but I'm just so, so worried that things won't click in to place by the time the baby comes (um, Tuesday).

Ok. Alex just apologized to me after spending some chill out time in his room and he wants to play. Thanks for listening- hope the day gets better. Any advice is appreciated!

fricksgirl · May 2010

MrsJulieT:
You probably won't want to hear this but we also had daddy take over bed time and Ryan's behavior went down hill really fast. Not that Chris didn't do a good job. He could actually get Ryan down faster than I could. But it was such an established routine that it made him really upset that mommy wasn't doing it anymore. He missed that special time with just the two of us. He needs that special time even more now that we have Taylor. I have taken over doing bed time again. Unless I'm nursing and then he knows that daddy has to do it that night. His behavior has drastically improved throughout the day just with me returning to bed time duty.

Yeah, it's tough. I just feel like I physically can't- his bed is so low down and he wants me to get down low (kneeling by the bed) and sing/tell stories n his ear, which is fine normally, but it just makes me hurt now. Once Baby is here I don't mind going back (I'll probably want to) but I'm just at my wit's end about it now. He's just sooooo tired and I feel bad for him. And for myself.

Ok. Pity party over! I've got to shake it off so it doesn't ruin our whole day- things are looking better.

hersheykiss · May 2010

I am sorry you are having a rough time with the transition. Have you tried explaining the consequences to your DH that occur the next day? Maybe set a timer for both DH & Alex? Like, Daddy can be in the room for X time and then it is bedtime. Or have DH start it earlier?

SweetieP · May 2010

Ugh. I'm sorry.

fricksgirl · May 2010

hersheykiss:
I am sorry you are having a rough time with the transition. Have you tried explaining the consequences to your DH that occur the next day? Maybe set a timer for both DH & Alex? Like, Daddy can be in the room for X time and then it is bedtime. Or have DH start it earlier?

Yeah, he fully knows. I'm really not mad at him about it, he's doing the best he can, it's hard for him as well. He swears A didn't do this when he was doing bedtime when I was going to Jazzer 2 nights/week- but that was different as I wasn't in the house at all. Plus I think A is just sensing all the changes.

We'll get through it, hopefully I can get him down for a good nap today and that will help.

Thanks for all your support guys, it means a lot.

2bearichards · May 2010

Hugs my friend.

What you described is exactly why I do bedtime by myself every night.

Sorry I don't have any advice.

serendipityRox · May 2010

I'm sorry. Anna's been acting up at bedtime too although we're both helping with the routine. She's staying up an extra 60-90 minutes in bed, sneaking books and singing to herself. Tonight we're trying a MUCH earlier bedtime to see if that works.

Kellina71 · May 2010

Ugggh! I wish I had some advice, but it does look like you got some good input. I hope things turn around soon. Like TONIGHT!

SeasonalCook · May 2010

Awwww big hugs m'dear. I know that I'm a full 2 weeks behind you and 2 weeks can make a world of difference, but I force myself to do bedtime. DH just isn't very good at it and he won't take my advice b/c he "parents" his way. There are many times throughout our routine that I'm extremely uncomfortable (getting in and out of the deep cushy club chair in her room where we read is practically impossible now and oof, getting down to toddler bed level is rough) but I muscle through it.

If you can't do all of it, maybe just take over for the last part of the routine? DH does bathtime and pajamas and then I come upstairs and do milk, books, teeth, and bed. Good luck!

Ang&Garrett · May 2010

fricksgirl:
Plus I think A is just sensing all the changes.

I'm willing to bet this is what its all about. Lots of changes. Hang in there! He'll work it out!

jimmysgirl22 · May 2010

All I can offer is big hugs 'cause we're in a similar boat. Hang in there - a new sense of normal will emerge soon and things will get better.

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Arrrrgh VENT bad morning already

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