Natural Birth Board

izzourclue · May 2010

I was lurking on the natural birth board and seems to me that it was created simply to make women that can't have a baby without medical intervention feel bad about themselves. I'm all for trying to go medication free, but sh!t happens and I don't want to feel like less of a woman because I end up needing a c-section. Whatever, just venting I guess.

UrbanHippieMama · May 2010

I think it was more created for support for those wanting to go natural. I planned a homebrith last time and ended up at the hospital with an epi and pitocin (along with some other drugs) and the board doesn't make me feel bad.

There's nothing wrong with getting an epi, or csection, or whatever, but those planning to go natural are more in the minority and usually need extra support. I've seen women getting flamed for wanting to go natural, so I'm sure it's nice to have a 'safe' place to post. KWIM?

izzourclue · May 2010

firsttimemama:

I think it was more created for support for those wanting to go natural. I planned a homebrith last time and ended up at the hospital with an epi and pitocin (along with some other drugs) and the board doesn't make me feel bad.

There's nothing wrong with getting an epi, or csection, or whatever, but those planning to go natural are more in the minority and usually need extra support. I've seen women getting flamed for wanting to go natural, so I'm sure it's nice to have a 'safe' place to post. KWIM?

I KWYM, but I think they usually get flamed because they come across all high and mighty that their choice is the only acceptable one because its "natural." They also come across like they just assume that they don't even have to think about what could go wrong because "millions of women give birth every day" or "my grandmother did it this way." FWIW, I am leaning towards trying to go med free. Mostly because I am paranoid about the epi, but I also am shaped like my mom and her pelvis is too small to pass a normal sized baby so I am mentally prepared for that. In the 1700's, I would have probably died giving birth.

nurseJK · May 2010

I think that is wrong! I think one of the really great things about America is that we are free to make our own choices. I plan on an epidural and won't let anyone make me feel bad about it. You want to go natural? Good for you! Then again... am I the only one that watches Baby Story or Bringing Home Baby and gets a small evil laugh out when a mom who swears up and down by her birth plan and going natural gives up and goes for an epidural? I think the best birth plan is like this- in an ideal situation I would prefer this but if there is a problem please explain options, what is best for me and baby and we will decide together on the safest thing. No matter what the birth plan you are setting yourself up for disaster thinking it is going to go perfectly.

I also have a really big beef with people who make moms who do not want to breast feed feel badly about it. You can encourage women to try it but if they don't want to do it then they won't do it!!! I had the best woman come in and talk at my pediatric nurse practitioner school. She was like look, it isn't always easy, it isn't for everyone, not everyone can do it and that is okay. Obviously, as a PNP I am ALL for breastfeeding but come on people. It isn't child abuse not to do it.
Sorry that is MY rant on this.

izzourclue · May 2010

nurseJK:

I think that is wrong! I think one of the really great things about America is that we are free to make our own choices. I plan on an epidural and won't let anyone make me feel bad about it. You want to go natural? Good for you! Then again... am I the only one that watches Baby Story or Bringing Home Baby and gets a small evil laugh out when a mom who swears up and down by her birth plan and going natural gives up and goes for an epidural? I think the best birth plan is like this- in an ideal situation I would prefer this but if there is a problem please explain options, what is best for me and baby and we will decide together on the safest thing. No matter what the birth plan you are setting yourself up for disaster thinking it is going to go perfectly.

I also have a really big beef with people who make moms who do not want to breast feed feel badly about it. You can encourage women to try it but if they don't want to do it then they won't do it!!! I had the best woman come in and talk at my pediatric nurse practitioner school. She was like look, it isn't always easy, it isn't for everyone, not everyone can do it and that is okay. Obviously, as a PNP I am ALL for breastfeeding but come on people. It isn't child abuse not to do it.
Sorry that is MY rant on this.

Agreed on all points.

DaniGirl0517 · May 2010

Oh please. If you medically can't have a natural birth then no one would hold that against you and I highly doubt anyone would say much even if you didn't have a medical reason. That being said, if you already know you can't have a natural childbirth, don't go over there, simple as that! Yes it's interesting and you may want to follow their stories, but I think you are probably viewing it as biased because, well it is. It is biased in favor of natural childbirth but that doesn't make it against the people who choose to do differently, it's only in support of like minded women. Sorry, rant over.

hot_tamale · May 2010

Overall, giving birth is a highly personal decision. To each their own. I think you have people on both sides that can be extreme. I try to stay out of it.

mick64 · May 2010

To me, the comments about millions of women being able to give birth, and our bodies being made to give birth are more like self-affirmation/motivation. I hope to go totally natural, but to be honest, giving birth is kind of scary (or maybe even a lot scary) when you've never done it before. I tell myself these things as a way of saying to myself "you can do it" so that I can at least give it a try. In my observations, people who want to go natural who go in with a plan (like using Bradley, or hypnobirthing) tend to have better success than those who more vaguely hope to go natural. I think it's nice to have a board where people can share their experiences and support each other.

Ceefome · May 2010

I don't think it warrants its own board.

atdowns · May 2010

I do think alot of comments are made to be affirmations and encouragements as it's natural but often terrifying LOL but there are a lot of judgemental people and let's face it women can be pretty awful to one another and some personalities are just set up to put others down or judge people. Mothers judging mothers is an absolutely disgusting culture in this world. There is no tougher job than being a mother and none that a healthy person will put more heart soul and worry into. I htink as mothers it's important that we all check ourselves. Are we being judgemental because someone else takes a different path? are we assuming someone's intent rather than really listening to what they are saying? are we covering our own insecurities by putting others on the outside or putting them down so we feel more secure??

cess525 · May 2010

I don't feel like crap and I had to have a c/s. At 35w6d weeks with DD we got the news that not only had DD dropped she was also breech and thus stuck. At week 36w6d we tried flipping her (something that had worked for my mother) and she would really stuck. At that moment we sched. a c/s and all thoughts I had of a natural birth went out the window. I had prepared myself for the worst all along (you may want natural but it wont always happen) so after much crying and weekly checks to make sure she was still breech my DD was born at 28w6d and yes she was very stuck to the point they thought she might have foot issues (she doesn't).

I was still in the hospital when my doctor and I were talking about next time. We were talking about VBAC and how I was a good candidate for it. We have talked about it so much that the I know even if all goes well on my end (go into labor on my own and no medication) I still have a 40 odd % chance of ending up with a c/s. As long as my baby and I are safe I don't care what the end result is. Would I love natural, YES but am I going to feel bad reading other mothers got to go natural and I didn't, NO.

There are some mothers out there that actually prefer a c/s, My cousins all elected for c/s for their second child, they didn't have a care in the world to try the whole natural thing. Its to each their own.

If you are thinking along the line of fairness I guess there should be a c/s board (I would have loved to know not to pack pants to the hospital and the whole not laughing thing too) and so forth but to be honest we have enough boards as is Stick out tongue

*kendrick* · May 2010

Think about it like this analogy: if there was a board for running a marathon I think that board would be great for people who want to run--learn how to get ready, learn the tricks of the trade, hear stories of success (and failure), use encouraging words (you can do it! running is healthy!, etc.) The board also could be great for people thinking about running a marathon. The board could even be great for someone who can only do half the marathon but then needs to bow out. Someone who wishes they could run a marathon, but can't might even enjoy checking our the posts out every now and then.

Now, for someone who has no interest in running--that board doesn't apply to them, but it is hardly offensive that some people strive to run in a marathon and want to talk about it.

Someone with a health condition where a marathon would be foolish to particpate in? Probably not the board for them. Sure, they can look, but they shouldn't feel offended or judged because others are into running marathons.

Having a board doesn't mean that marathon runners look down on non-runners or those people who end up not finishng the race. It doesn't mean that they don't have respect for people with health conditions that preculde running It simply means that they like marathons and they want to support others with the same goal.

The natural birth board is for people who want to prepare for something that is hard, not mainstream in our culture, and is best done with encouragement and preparation, just like running a marathon. The choice to read is yours.

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