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Tryingtogetpregnant
member
So, what would you do?
Tryingtogetpregnant
member
Now that Colin is 6 weeks old, we are seriously talking about our options after my maternity leave is over. My current job allows for quite a bit of flexibility when I am in town (think many half days and days off); however, I do travel quite a bit in it. I am gone probably 2-5 nights per month and then have an additional 1-3 very long days in the month. I don't like my job and I'm worried about the longevity of it. It is a very well paying job, but my bonuses have been slashed in the last few months.
So, here are the options we are looking at:
1. Stay at my job, deal with the travel, and ride the wave until something happens (layoffs, etc).
2. Find a new job - I do have a few leads - however, this job would probably be less paying and not as flexible while in town - no travel though and hopefully, I would enjoy it more
3. Stay at home for a year - Financially, we could do this. Of course, it would be tighter, but we would manage fine. Pros - seeing my peanut everyday all day and avoiding daycare and costs for a year. Cons - pressure on my DH in responsibility for all of the bills, etc.
I am really torn. I would love to stay at home for awhile, but I don't want to put the pressure on my DH. I hate my job, but it does allow for flexibility. I cannot imagine leaving my sweet baby for travel, and I can't really even imagine leaving him for daycare at this point. Or, find a different job. I wouldn't have the flexibility, so I'd probably only get to see my little guy a few hours a day, but I wouldn't have to travel. Help!
At this point, I am off until Aug. 2 when he is about 15 weeks......
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Re: So, what would you do?
Do I remember you being in pharma or medical sales of some sort?
If you're in pharma and your job seems stable I'd stick it out. It's a night mare out there. Of course ... it never hurts to interview while you've got a job in hand but my big issue would be training. It's one thing to travel a bit with a new baby but the 2-3 weeks you'd need to spend away for your start up training would have KILLED me with a newborn (not to mention it would have tanked my BM supply). The travel for training alone would have made me stick out an old job until they were older.
If you feel like your industry is stable and you could easily get back in I'd be tempted to sit out a year. I'm stressed as all hell about not having a career right now but LOVING the fact that I'm spending this time with them.
I'm just sad that I've basically ruined my career. I took several flex time contract positions to maximize my time with the boys and it's killed my resume. There's just too many other's getting laid off in my field that don't have a resume and jumpy as mine is.
And... I was soooo used to the flexibility of my job. The 1/2 day thing is worth SOOO much more now that I've got kids. I'd suck up a job that I'm not in love with to try to hang on to that kind of flexibility if you can keep riding that train while they're in school. Nothing beats not having to put them in aftercare because you can pick them up when school's out.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
This is me:
I am the breadwinner (DH is in grad school) and I will say money pressures SUCK. It's SO HARD to have the burden on just me to earn the majority of the family income. DH got a teaching position for the fall and I'm so much more relaxed now knowing the pressure is off some. It honestly led to a lot of stress/fights in our relationship.
I would keep looking for a new job now, and return to your old one while still looking if you haven't found anything. Travel sucks so I'd be more inclined to take a less flexible but no travel job, but I would go back to work at least. You can always quit later, but I would NOT quit now.....but keep following up on those leads.
Is it possible to try to decrease your travel in your current role or go part time in your current role? Or find a part time job? This way you still can see peanut and not feel the weight of no income. I'm all about trying to find clever ways to handle this!!
After the year is up, what will you do? Go back to your current job? If that job will still be available to you after taking a year off, I vote to take the year off!
I took 5 months off, had one month of school, and then it was summer. I was lucky!
Good thoughts ladies.....here are more details:
a) I'm a retirement wholesaler - basically, like a pharma rep but different product. I would not go back to another job with weeks of out of town training. Most of my background is in sales, so I can take most sales jobs that don't have a long training course involved with the hire.
b) When I say ride this train, I will be lucky to keep this job 18 more months. The financial community is just too drained to keep our position, and we are all pretty aware that it won't be too much longer before our specific position will be gone or changed drastically. I was one of the last ones into my company, so I will be one of the first out.
c) No, my job won't be available to go back to in a year. I'd have to find something else. No part time availability in my job either. I wish! And, I won't be able to decrease travel. Ugh!
d) And, I know all about being the breadwinner. I have been for our whole relationship and actually still am now. For several years, it was all on me to pay the bills and IVF wouldn't have been possible without my job. Luckily, we have substantial savings for our FET's, so we won't have to worry as much. I don't want my DH to have this pressure now since I know how it feels, but I also want to stay home for a year!
A part of me feels like I paid my dues and we banked a ton of our money for something like this, but I don't want the stress to our marriage that it could cause.
Bah humbug.
Such a tough decision...and since I don't have a LO yet, take with a grain of salt. All my thoughts might change once LO is here!
If you take the year off (which it sounds to me that you really want to do most of all!) will you be living on DH's salary alone, or tapping into that savings you have? If you're tapping into savings to live/pay bills/exist along with DH's salary, the only thing I would consider is what happens if finding a job isn't so easy in a year and it takes longer than you think - would you still be ok financially?
If yes, then I would totally go for it! Howly make a good point though about the tough job market. How would a year off look compared to other qualified candidates in your market - would you still be a strong contender for those jobs?
All good things for me to think about too, since I've been debating going back to work p/t after baby. Good luck with your decision!