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1st Trimester
blessed_wife
member
What advice have you taken or haven't?
blessed_wife
member
Everyone seems to think that its their duty to give an advice regarding pregnancy, regardless if they have kids or not. Some seem like good ideas, others just make you raise an eyebrow.
So what are you following and what are you ignoring?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What advice have you taken or haven't?
One piece of advice we'll definitely be taking within the best of our ability
"do the housecleaning of your lives now"
lol... that's actually really good advice
Advice I took was to go ahead and start using lotion on my belly early. Yeah stretch marks are gentic, but the lotion really helped with all the itching from stretching, and just felt so good! (also no stretch marks yet, knock on wood)
Also advice I took was to not buy the baby any clothes. I bought only ONE outfit, and my little girl already has so many clothes she will probably not even get to wear them all before she outgrows them!
Advice I ignored... Don't eat lunchmeat, no caffine, don't lift your arms over your head, etc.. I could definitely go on.
OMG I could go on and on about what advice I haven't taken!! People suddenly become "experts" as soon as you mention you're pregnant (even if they've never had kids)! Mainly I ignored everything people told me about what I could and couldn't eat - told them exactly what my doc told me: no raw food, no alcohol and no smoking, other than that, you're good.
Advice I'm definitely following is to listen to my body. I'm usually a very on-the-go person and have a packed schedule, but the baby has changed all of that; my body couldn't handle such a hectic lifestyle anymore and I wore myself out. Now I'm sleeping as much as I can, resting when I can't sleep and taking better care of myself.
My hairdresser (young, no kids) told me to ask the hospital to get the baby on a 4 hour feeding schedule instead of 2 hours. Her reason: "It's so much easier to get stuff done if you're not CONSTANTLY feeding the baby."
IGNORED!
I've had lots of people tell me things I'm allowed to do, just so that I can participate. I'm trying to do the right and healthy thing for my baby girl, so I ignore a lot of "advice".
"You shouldn't be working out", "You can handle some wine if you want", and "Don't worry about caffeine, you can totally drink it throughout the day" were the biggest ones that I just politely said, "you know, you're probably right, but I'm going to have to disagree with you."
Best advice I got: go to the movies with your husband now. It won't happen for a long time after the baby arrives.
My son is 20 months, and I think I've seen a total of two movies in the theater since he was born. Neither was with my husband.
my crazy superstitious family told me not to look at ANYTHING scary or ugly or disgusting, as (GOD FORBID, KNOCK ON WOOD, etc, etc) my child will come out looking like a monster. seriously, they told me that i was forbidden from seeing Clash of the Titans because exposure to the CG monsters would somehow cause my baby to become, i don't know, freaking Medusa. yes, world, my baby will have snakes for hair because i didn't follow my mother's advice.
my doctor told me to "listen to (my) body," and that's exactly what i'm doing. that, and not to read WTEWYE before bed b/c it gives me anxiety. i stick to crappy gossip mags instead
One piece of advice I got and I use was every time you get paid, buy a pack of diapers! I had a closet full of diapers with my first child and I'm starting now with my second. You'll never be sorry you bought them because you will use every bit of them and more! I also buy a box of wipes every other paycheck.
The advice I listen to and make my own decisions about are gray areas and especially having anything to do with "once the baby is here." If there is something that is more about comfort or making something easier or dealing with some aspect of pregnancy (whether is it physical or emotional), I listen and then decide if it will work for me.
The advice I follow is the scientifically-based advice in a few select books and from my doctor ("raising your arms" as a risk has been scientifically dis-proven = IGNORE) and then I personally choose to walk the more cautious line when it comes to the scientifically proven "low-risk-but-risk" rules (for example, lunch meat or more than 100 mg of caffeine a day). When I started to eat blue cheese once, forgetting about that rule, I didn't freak out, but I did stop eating it.
I see those as no different than wearing a seat belt in the car. I've ridden in a car thousands of times and never been in a serious accident. I am probably not one bit better off for having worn a seat belt all those years. But, despite the very low risk, wearing a seat belt is also a very, very low inconvenience or "sacrifice" and if I ever am in that accident where the belt did save my life, I'd be mighty glad I was wearing it. Of course, I won't know when I don't eat that piece of sushi that wasn't quite good enough to not make me sick in my "condition" (despite the fact that millions of Japanese women have eaten sushi while pregnant) - but I can also live without sushi (and Brie, and vodka, and more than the occasional single cup of coffee) for nine months.
Just my POV.
hahahaha I can't believe people say this, I've never heard that before.
CRAZY
Ooh I like the buying diapers with every paycheck one! Advice I'll follow: No caffeine, get lots of rest, try to exercise a little.
Advice I'll flush: haven't really received any yet, it's probably too early for much advice to roll in.
I was told no lunch meats, no processed foods, watch out for mercury in fish, no caffiene, no juice (sugars), ease up on milk and tums for calcium instead (milk could cause constipation), sit down and stand up gently and slowly, dont walk so fast, etc.
I am having a hard time digesting lunch meats, hot dogs, hamburgers, and lettuce some, so not eating those as much. Doc said not to do store bought chicken/tuna/pasta salads with mayo very often because the store may have had them sitting out; on fish high in mercury, when I said I might maybe have seafood once a week, he said I could eat whatever I want, because I would have to have swordfish or shark or other mercury-rich fish 4 or more times a week for it to have even the tiniest effect. I can have 6 sodas a day based on caffiene, he said I need to watch the sugar and sodium on those more, and no undercooked meats, so steaks must be med-well at the least.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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People sure do have their opinions, but here's one my mom told me that I'm making sure to follow.
Just because you are pregnant, doesn't mean you should "give up". Buy some maternity outfits that make you look and feel stylish and possibly even sexy! In my case, I've never had boobs, so I'm showing off my new found cleavage when I can. And always wear lipstick or lipgloss. No matter how crappy you may feel (or look), bright cheery shade of lipstick instantly makes you look more put together.
THIS!! i'm all about this
good call - there's TONS of lovely (aka non-frumpy) maternity wear out there, and there's nothing a bit of red lipstick can't fix 
My mother used to be a nurse in the NICU at her hospital, so she thinks she is the utmost authority on all things baby. Also, she raised three perfectly normal children so she is the utmost authority on child-rearing (I wont get into my brother's drug habits or the time she lied to the cops when I was 14 and said I hit her because we were in an argument so I would get arrested, etc.)
Mostly, she has told me to ignore all kinds of (good) advice, but she has dolled out some silly stuff. It makes me so mad, because I'll be chatting with her about something and she'll interrupt me and tell me I'm wrong and my doctor is wrong and why did I select that doctor? She knows her from her hospital and she sucks.
My mom's gems include:
- Yes, babies can sleep on their stomachs as long as you're in the same room.
- No caffeine period. I drank caffeine with your brother and he has crohns disease.
- If you didn't start taking folic acid a year before you got pregnant (not exaggerating, that is the time-line she said), your baby is probably going to be messed up.
- Don't dye your hair at all.
- The crib from when you were a baby is fine, even though it is a drop side from 1986. Use it or I will be mad at you.
- You're not going to be able to do anything for 9-12 months after labor because your abdominal muscles will hurt too bad. Co-sleep so you don't have to lift your baby out of the crib.
Some good advice I have received elsewhere:
- Baby sites will make your husband feel like a total uninvolved jerk, who is not qualified to care for a baby without supervision, and should only be allowed to babysit on occasion. Support him so he understands you're equals in this not the stereotype the bump, and parents.com want to tell you he is.
- Take pictures while pregnant, and tons/billions everyday after.
- Drink an F-ing cup of coffee every now and then if you want to.
- Ignore crappy advice.
Haha We are using my old crib. Yes, a drop side from 1979. We are fixing it to make it stationary.
Anyway, I think the most irritating are people who tell you that you'll go back on all your "hills you'll die on" after you have kids. Good lord. Keep that to yourself.
Example: we NEVER watch tv, threrefore, we don't anticipate our kids watching. But all my tv addicted friends are looking at us like, "you'll change your mind!" and being super rude about it. It's a lifestyle difference people!
Haven't gotten much blatantly bad advice yet. A good piece of advice I thought was to work out your arms when you exercise now- because once the baby's born you'll be doing EVERYTHING one handed!
Some really random advice my mother gave me was to start scrubbing my nipples with a washcloth in the shower now to toughen them up if I intend to breastfeed! I'm not sure if this is actually true or not, but it was pretty funny at the time. Ever since then my SO has been asking me "Did you remember to scrub your nipples dear?" when I step out of the shower. lol!
The one piece of advise I cringed at was that it was OK to have one glass of wine or one drink every night. Uh yeah, I'm going to trust you when you tell me you did it and your kid "turned out Fine" even though you tell me stories of him having a form of asperger's syndrome and no social skills.
Oh and I'm sorry, but it took me a long time to get pregnant and to stay pregnant, I'm not taking any chances with wine, caffeine or other potentially risky behavior just because it worked out "fine" for you.
I haven't really received any whacky advice. My MIL did mention the raising your arms above your head thing. I laughed...looking back, I'm not sure if she was joking or not. o_O;
I didn't take the advice about caffeine. I didn't drink many caffeinated beverages before, so I basically just didn't change anything. My doctor told me if it was limited, I was fine. So yup.
I'm not sure if this works for everyone, but I actually did receive this advice from a lactation consultant at my hospital, so I assume that there must be some merit in it.
Advice taken: Rest, relax, and just enjoy this time with your hubby. We definitely are!
Really? Because my lactation consultant said no way. She said that your nipples need TLC, and if your baby is latching properly, it should not hurt. Will it be uncomfortable? Probably. But painful? Shouldn't be, and if it is, I should contact her immediately because the baby isn't latching right.
I think the best advice I got so far is from my mother. She told me that when I start shopping for baby clothes, if I see something I really like that's absolutely adorable, I should buy it in a few different sizes. That way, my baby can still look cute and I won't be disappointed when my baby outgrows all their cute clothes.
One of my fiance's friends told me one day that I needed to stop complaining about my fiance smoking (I'm an ex-smoker, so everytime he lights up, I get those cravings). She said if she was pregnant she would suck it up and deal because it was her choice to be pregnant. She's still in high school and has never been pregnant. She's also never had to quit smoking her cigs. So, it really annoyed me.