For Those Who Have Endured a Loss....

Sarahp63 · May 2010

Did you ever "just know" this one would be your take home baby? Or did you just hold on and take it day by day? One day I know everything is fine and the next minute I am anxious and worried that something will happen and I won't know. I know these feelings are normal, but it sucks. I can't wait until I am in the second tri so I can breathe. I keep telling me it is in God's hands, but that doesnt always feel comforting for some reason.

shipoopiisforme · May 2010

i have to say i did kind of know this time around. last time i was a nervous wreck and just felt like something wasn't quite right. this time around i had a ton of issues early on (spotting, sch, huge ovarian cyst) but i was really calm the whole time, i just kind of felt like everything was going to be ok.

i was talking to my acupuncturist about all that and she said that she felt it was my "mother's intuition" kicking in early. and i just tried to remember all that when things got even hairier around 16 weeks.

Mrs.Kiltlifter · May 2010

Ask me again in 5 to 6 months! Ha!

JGirl2005 · May 2010

I was anxious my entire last pregnancy. I had a loss in the 2nd tri prior to that and just wanted my take home baby.

I am more relaxed this time, but still I worry.

I think you worry until the baby is with you and then you worry when you are a mom and the baby falls down, etc. The worry never ends.

I just try to say mantras. I am pregnant today, etc. There is nothing that I can do if something happens. It is in God's hands.

Temp848906437505510 · May 2010

Yes and no, I guess. I worried much more when I was still in the cycling process then when I was actually pregnant, although, don't get me wrong, I still worried for 9 months. But, I had to know, somehow, that I was going to eventually bring a baby home or I wouldn't have been able to continue doing IVF after IVF.

nikinikinine · May 2010

I feel much more confident in this pregnancy, but I'm still scared to death.

LCB34 · May 2010

I have just started feeling like Kate is my take home baby within the past 2ish weeks.

I never had a feeling from the get go - and then with the loss of the twins, I never felt safe that Kate would even make it. I still have feelings like something bad just had to happen but, I am trying so hard to enjoy this pregnancy.

I think it is different for everyone but, try to enjoy what you do have right now. My Dad told me something wonderful around 11 weeks that helped me embrace what I did have (even though I still didn't think I was lucky enough to actually make it as far as I have). He said "Linds, your happiness for the baby you are carrying cannot make bad things happen. What has happened to you is terrible and heart wrenching. But, just because you have been in the trenches of loss doesn't mean you can't also be at the mountain tops of excitement for your baby. That excitement will not jinx you into another loss."

It made me realize that I do need to be happy and thankful every day and it helped me set my worries aside b/c feelings of happiness will not cause bad things to happen.

I hope that makes sense!

itsmevkb · May 2010

Oh how I wish I could just know this will be a take home baby for us.

With my last pregnancy, which I lost, I had a bad feeling from the very beginning, like from the minute I saw the positive test. I just thought I was crazy and pushed those thoughts aside. But, they were always there, buried beneath my front of being excited. When we found out the baby had died I actually felt that well at least I wasn't crazy, that a mother knows when something is wrong.

Now that I'm pregnant again I am finding it impossible to distinguish my fear that I will lose another baby from real intutition that something isn't right (or that this baby will be fine).

I keep thinking that the next ultrasound will make me feel better but each time it just gives me more to worry about. Perhaps if I make it past 14 weeks, the point at which I lost my son, I will begin to relax.

Dochas · May 2010

Honestly I couldn't enjoy any part of this until after the NT scan. I had a hard time letting it go. Now I feel pretty good about everything but it's been very, very hard.

juliannat · May 2010

Before my u/s, I know DH was a lot more confident than I was - because this time I just felt so much different than before. Now that we know there are two cooking in there, measuring perfectly the same size and on time, I am relatively calm that they're going to stick...but also TERRIFIED of complications.

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