Question 2. BFing resources....

Mrs.HisOnly · May 2010

So the plan as of right now is to BF J. I'm not emotionally attached to the idea so if it doesn't work I won't be devastated but it's definitely something I want to try to do for him so I'm commited to making it work if I can.

Besides taking the BFing class at Baptist what other helpful resources can I look at for tips etc. I know that I'd like to BF and pump so Alexis can help with feedings but I don't know when is a good time to start that.

Do the lactation peeps at the hospital help you with all this stuff? Where else can I read up so I know what to expect and what's realistic?

TIA!!

VandRicky · May 2010

I don't have any advice for you because it really depends on the hospital you deliver at and who your LC is.My first time around I had an LC who was a God sent, I could have never done it without your help.

My advice? dont' be afraid to ask for help and remember one thing... it's REALLY hard work BUT completly and totally worth it if you stick it through.

Also, if you can't nurse, don't beat yourself up for it. Remember a happy mommy is a hppy baby.

britishbride05 · May 2010

i didn't bf, i was going to and contacted La Leche League for info and a lactation consultant did come to see me when I mentioned I was thinking of BFing..

I will say, however, that in my experience (and it may not be the case with others) lactation consultants are MEAN. When I told her that I decided I wasn't going to nurse, that we were goign to formula feed, she looked at me right in the eyes and said "well, ok, but i hope you realize what you're doign to your baby. you're starting her off on the wrong foot, you know."

w. t. f.

if you decide you're not going to nurse, DON'T let the LC (or anyone else, for that matter) guilt you into it!!

mjz · May 2010

I've found this website to be helpful:

https://www.kellymom.com/

Aside from this (and I'm currently reading The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins, but I don't know how much you want to read at this point), I plan to work with a LC at the hospital where I'll deliver and contact La Leche is I ever need it.

southmiamiwifejen · May 2010

Mrs.HisOnly:
So the plan as of right now is to BF J. I'm not emotionally attached to the idea so if it doesn't work I won't be devastated but it's definitely something I want to try to do for him so I'm commited to making it work if I can.

Oh my LOL. I had this EXACT conversation with a fellow breastfeeding friend and a non-mommy friend this week. My number one piece of advice to my non-mommy friend was to not get emotional about breastfeeding, which unfortunately is easier said than done. Don't get me wrong, I know there are plenty of women who do it and are able to remain logical and rational about the whole thing, but in my personal experience and with a lot of other women I know, breastfeeding became very emotional very quickly. I don't know if it's hormonal or what, but it's so easy to make it more than just about feeding your baby and to turn it into a huge deal that basically gauges your worth as a mother. I really hope you're one of the "normal" women who is able to stay rational about the whole thing, but if you end up being anything like me, just remember reading this and don't think you're going crazy I finally started to supplement with formula for the first time this week because I couldn't keep up with pumping 3 or 4 times a day at work, and I have been in tears almost every time that I've thought about it.

ANYWAY...having said that...I think it's all about finding the middle ground between not caring enough so that you give up at the first bump in the road and caring TOO much to the point that you become a slave to it and basically make your life miserable for the sake of being able to breastfeed. Where you draw that line is totally up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Breastfeeding is HARD. Very few women do it successfully with zero complications. Whether it's problems with the baby latching, supply issues, clogged ducts and/or mastitis, etc., usually something will go wrong. It's important to have a good resource on hand to help you through those issues. I would have quit breastfeeding for sure if it weren't for my lactation consultants. Emma's latch was so bad that by the time I left the hospital two and a half days after she was born, the tips of my nipples were totally black with scabs Breastfeeding was beyond painful, and had I not gone to the lactation center the day after I was discharged from the hospital, I would have quit. The first few weeks were very hard, to the point that I would dread it every time I knew she was due to eat. But I stuck to it, thanks to my support group (lactation consultants, DH, mom, cousins, friends, etc.), and I'm sooooo glad I did. All the positives of breastfeeding so far have far outweighed the negatives of the first few weeks.

I used the lactation consultants at Mercy (Faith and Anita). I went to the breastfeeding class when I was pregnant, which was SUPER helpful, did two private consultations early on, went to the support groups when I was on maternity leave, and still call them on the phone every few weeks when I have a question. I think they're amazing. I know they have a reputation for being "breastfeeding nazis," which they kind of are, but if you are committed to it and want someone to help you through any possible issue you could have and push you to continue doing it even when times are tough, they are the place to go.

I delivered at South Miami and didn't see a lactation consultant when I was in the hospital, but the post partum nurses were pretty helpful. I'm still glad I did the class beforehand, though, because it really helped me be prepared. I didn't read any books but I've heard there's some good ones out there - "The Nursing Mother's Companion" and "So That's What They're For" have been recommended to me. I read all the portions on breastfeeding in "What To Expect When You're Expecting" and "What To Expect The First Year" and they were good. Kellymom.com is my go-to website and an amazing resource. And this message board

Re: the pumping...per the lactation consultants at Mercy, you should start pumping at 4 weeks to get a freezer stash going (so that you can be away from the baby at some point for more than a 2 hour stretch!), and then introduce a bottle at 6 weeks so that the baby will get used to taking a bottle. Supposedly if you introduce the bottle any sooner, the baby could experience nipple confusion. And as for pumping before the 4 week mark, I guess the theory is that you need those four weeks to establish your supply and overstimulating the breasts with pumping before then can "confuse" them and cause you to oversupply. Don't know how true that is or not, but I followed those guidelines and Emma took the bottle like a champ while continuing to nurse very well and I never had issues with pumping.

GoldieBride · May 2010

I LOVED Kellymom.com They have a message board just like this one and I was able to ask serious questions and get great answers from lactation consultants. I would not say ALL LCs are mean. I worked with an AMAYZING lactation consultant from Mercy named Faith Ploude who I credit completely with being able to nurse my very resistant premie son. He's 17 months now and still nursing 3X a day. Def. keep her name handy because you can schedule a consult with her and she can help you. Good Luck, nursing is really doable, it has a big learning curve in the beginning but 6 weeks into it you will get the hang of it and will be an old pro

southmiamiwifejen · May 2010

GoldieBride:
I worked with an AMAYZING lactation consultant from Mercy named Faith Ploude who I credit completely with being able to nurse my very resistant premie son.

Yay Team Faith!!!

And I ditto the 6 week mark...that's when nursing went from being something I dreaded to something I actually started to enjoy.

taxbride · May 2010

You mentioned the support group at Baptist. I went to them after having my second kid b/c even though I had successfully nursed my son with few (if any) problems, I had some issues the second time around. It was great. I saw a few women come while they were pregnant, and I think that that is a great idea. Maggie, who runs the group, was really easy going. I liked her a lot.

I went one time to the bf class at Mercy (which was $5/session as opposed to the free group at Baptist), and I did not like the LC there at all. Don't know if it was Faith or Anita or whoever, but she just kept pushing homeopathic stuff during the class and started talking about how she can't stand hearing certain baby names anymore b/c there are just too many of certain names out there--and then she names those names without knowing if there are any in the group that day (we hadn't done intros yet)! I thought that was just incredibly rude. But I have heard that they are amazing at making bf work for moms who are having issues of any kind. I was lucky that I didn't need their help b/c I wouldn't have been able to subject myself to them, honestly.

Gator09 · May 2010

I loved bfing. Don't get me wrong...the first few weeks are really tough and you need a lot of support...so trying to prepare is very smart. I read "So that's what they're for" and it was good and interesting. I also took a class at Memorial. When the time came I was still confused and scared and asked for help. Luckily for me my sister had nursed her 3 children so she was added help. The one thing I definitely suggest to other moms to be is making sure your husband goes to the class/es with you. This way if you decide it is the right choice for you then your husband will know more about supporting you and why you made these decisions. Josh knew that at 4am when I was exhausted and not thinking straight that saying "just give him a bottle" was not the right support for me...he knew to calm me down have me walk away for a few min and try again. My husband was my number 1 support. He also had to kick some family members out of my house who were hovering over me while I was trying to get it done the first few days.

Good luck! Again I loved it but I know it is not for everyone.

Mrs.HisOnly · May 2010

SouthMiamiWifeJen:
Mrs.HisOnly:

So the plan as of right now is to BF J. I'm not emotionally attached to the idea so if it doesn't work I won't be devastated but it's definitely something I want to try to do for him so I'm commited to making it work if I can.

Oh my LOL. I had this EXACT conversation with a fellow breastfeeding friend and a non-mommy friend this week. My number one piece of advice to my non-mommy friend was to not get emotional about breastfeeding, which unfortunately is easier said than done. Don't get me wrong, I know there are plenty of women who do it and are able to remain logical and rational about the whole thing, but in my personal experience and with a lot of other women I know, breastfeeding became very emotional very quickly. I don't know if it's hormonal or what, but it's so easy to make it more than just about feeding your baby and to turn it into a huge deal that basically gauges your worth as a mother. I really hope you're one of the "normal" women who is able to stay rational about the whole thing, but if you end up being anything like me, just remember reading this and don't think you're going crazy I finally started to supplement with formula for the first time this week because I couldn't keep up with pumping 3 or 4 times a day at work, and I have been in tears almost every time that I've thought about it.

I learned in TTC that things don't always go the way I expect them to....so my approach to things RE: L&D and thereafter is pretty much to just go with whatever works for J. IF truly taught me that I apparently have no control over a lot of things in life So if it's good for him I'll go wth that.

I also want to say that I love that I can always count on a detailed and informative reply from you THANKS! that actually answered a couple of the questions I already had in the back of my head.

StephE623 · May 2010

SouthMiamiWifeJen:
Mrs.HisOnly:
So the plan as of right now is to BF J. I'm not emotionally attached to the idea so if it doesn't work I won't be devastated but it's definitely something I want to try to do for him so I'm commited to making it work if I can.
Oh my LOL. I had this EXACT conversation with a fellow breastfeeding friend and a non-mommy friend this week. My number one piece of advice to my non-mommy friend was to not get emotional about breastfeeding, which unfortunately is easier said than done. Don't get me wrong, I know there are plenty of women who do it and are able to remain logical and rational about the whole thing, but in my personal experience and with a lot of other women I know, breastfeeding became very emotional very quickly. I don't know if it's hormonal or what, but it's so easy to make it more than just about feeding your baby and to turn it into a huge deal that basically gauges your worth as a mother. I really hope you're one of the "normal" women who is able to stay rational about the whole thing, but if you end up being anything like me, just remember reading this and don't think you're going crazy I finally started to supplement with formula for the first time this week because I couldn't keep up with pumping 3 or 4 times a day at work, and I have been in tears almost every time that I've thought about it.

This conversation keeps popping up, huh?

Justine, you have the right approach if you can detach yourself emotionally from breastfeeding. I think it's great that you are at least going to try. It's worth it to try, but it's not worth it to stress out about it and doubt yourself as a mother. You will love you son no matter what and, at the end of the day, all that matters is that. He won't think you love him any less depending on how you feed him. With that said, Kellymom is a great site. There's a message board on there and on La Leche League's website that are really helpful. The breastfeeding board on the Bump is also good.

taxbride · May 2010

Gator09:
Good luck! Again I loved it but I know it is not for everyone.

Wanted to echo Beth's comment. I know it's not for everyone, but I loved it and still love nursing my daughter who is now 15 months old. If it works for you, it can be an amazing wonderful experience--I remember thinking at 10 days out, "wow, how cool is this?"

princess370 · May 2010

I 100% agree with GATOR 09 AND VANDRICKY

they hit the nail on the head...

I bf my 1 LO till 10months and the 2nd LO till 18months...

It takes peserverence...

HTH

TayLynn · May 2010

The Dade LLL is an awesome group. I went to their Parenting Conference a few months ago. They love having pregnant moms come to the meetings. https://www.lllmiamidade.org/

Ditto pp about www.kellymom.com

Also https://www.breastfeedingonline.com/ Dr Jack Newman's articles and videos are very good.

It's rare that there's a medical reason that a mother can not breastfeed. There are exceptions though like having breast surgery, endocrine disorders, or other conditions that require you to be on medications that are incompatible to BFing. If you have any concerns about your own medical health issues, you can bring it up with your healthcare provider or a Lactation Consulant. Most aren't mean. Sorry to the pp that had the bad experience.

You can prepare yourself with knowledge to help you succeed at breastfeeding. The first couple of weeks can be difficult but with the proper support (get your husband on board) and education, you can do it! Get as much help as you can while in the hospital. You want the latch to be perfect as possible so ask for the nurses and LC to help while in the hospital. Like all people, some nurses and LC are better than others.

Then feed your baby every 2-3 hours or on demand. You can't nurse too often or for too long. That's how your milk comes in and how your supply is regulated. During that first two weeks especially, don't let the baby sleep for too long. They get more sleepy from not eating and then have difficulty staying awake to nurse again because they have no energy. It gets into a bad cycle that can be a struggle to break. Crying is one of the last feeding cues. There are many signs that it's time to nurse before that. It's hard to nurse a crying baby!

Good luck to you. If you ever need more support, don't hesitate to ask here. The more support you get, the more success you'll have and the longer you'll probably breastfeed. They did a study on that and found the husband's support and commitment are very crucial. If you don't have your husband's support, then surround yourself with BFing friends and family.

mrsjessnjorge · May 2010

I think the most important thing is to have support around you. There is a learning curve at the beginning and the last thing you need is people around you that don't support BF'ing and try to push a bottle of formula on you. I knew going in that it was going to be hard but I honestly did not expect it to be as hard as it was at the beginning. Luckily I had my mom and grandmother to help me in the beginning. I think they live secret lives as LC's. I went to a BF'iing class while pregnant but I honestly didn't learn anything from it. It was all stuff I had already read in books. Kellymom.com is a great resource. I called LLL a couple of times to ask some questions and I found them helpful.

As a new mom, I found myself with so many questions. Wondering if what we are doing is right. Are we establishing good sleeping habits, did I put him on tummy time enough, should he be on a schedule, are we spoiling him, etc. But the one thing I know without question I have done right for Nico is to BF. I have loved every single minute. BF'ing is time consuming and can be challenging at times, but with the right support around you, I think it's possible. Even now, I'm finding it important to have the support. At the beginning, I heard a lot of "It's not worth the trouble, just give him a bottle of formula" and now I get the "Why are you still doing it? Are you going to BF until he goes to college". Luckily, my close friends and family understand what I'm doing and are supporting my decision. But if for whatever reason, you feel it's not right for you, don't feel guilty. What matters is that your baby is happy and fed. It doesn't matter where that milk comes from. GL!

FutureHernandez · May 2010

Tracy summed up everything I pretty much had to say!

I always knew that I would breastfeed my child. I read as much as I could about bfing, but I had NEVER seen anyone nurse a baby until I went to the LLL Parenting Conference last year. I was in shock! I couldn't believe that these women were just whipping it out like nothing. They had toddlers walking up to them asking for milk!!! How absurd! I was scared they would catch me staring. But here I am--Matthew is going to be a year on Saturday and he is going to be an extended breastfeeder. And he crawls up to me sits down on my lap and sticks his hand down my shirt asking for milk!

Breastfeeding is so much more than just milk me. It's this connection that I could never explain. The way he looks at me. The way he smiles when I talk to him while he's nursing. It's so emotional. I could be having the worse day at work, but as soon as that boy latches on, all my problems go away. Seriously, it makes me so calm! I feel empowered knowing that I am giving my son something no other person can give to him. It's like our little secret.

Go to a LLL meeting. It's eye opening! Actually, as soon as I'm on my summer vacation, I'll be attending there meetings again. Maybe we can go together.

Another thing--surround yourself with positive people. Ignore the comments. You'll hear, OMG, he's hungry again! People don't understand that it may not be hunger...it might be comfort.

Question 2. BFing resources....

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