Single Parents

Coffee date = Fail

I had a coffee date with a guy on Saturday-didn't mention it here because I figured it wasn't a big deal.  It was actually fine and pleasant enough but we are definitely not in the same place in our lives.  He is thinking of moving away and going to get his Masters (which is fantastic but it basically said to me that we are in two different places).  Nice guy, but no spark, and I think he realized that too.

I go along feeling fine about my life without someone in it but sometimes when I hear about other people dating it makes me lonely.  And I am happy for my friends (and for everyone on this board who is in a relationship, do NOT get me wrong) but sometimes I wonder when/if I am going to meet someone.  It seems like I rarely date and when I do there it usually doesn't go anywhere.  Sorry, just venting.  Thanks for listening ladies!

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Re: Coffee date = Fail

  • At least you are putting yourself out there and trying. Love always happens when we least expect it!

    At this point I can't imagine my life with h, but I can't imagine it with anyone else either. Sometimes I think if I could just get a friend with benefits, I could be single the rest of my life. LOL.

    I honestly have no clue when I will be ready to date, but it's not time yet.

    I like to tell myself that everything happens for a reason, and that there is someone out there for everyone!

    Keep trying, it will happen. :)

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  • mrgnmrgn member
    imageinbetween:

    At least you are putting yourself out there and trying. Love always happens when we least expect it!

    Love this! You're a sassy momma. You will find someone and it will definitely happen at the right time. This is the "weeding" process. Gotta make sure he's good enough to be a part of P's life!

  • imagemrgn:
    imageinbetween:

    At least you are putting yourself out there and trying. Love always happens when we least expect it!

    Love this! You're a sassy momma. You will find someone and it will definitely happen at the right time. This is the "weeding" process. Gotta make sure he's good enough to be a part of P's life!

    Hahaha Morgan!  I LOL'ed at the "weeding" reference. 

    Ann Marie, They are right.  It will happen, when the time is right.  Chin up girl!

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  • Don't expect more from a date then to have a good time and dating will become a lot more enjoyable.  Take the pressure off and enjoy it.   I think your perspective is defeatist.  The date went well if you enjoyed yourself.

    "It was actually fine and pleasant enough" = Date success

    I was forced to fake a fork-to-eye injury and walk 8 miles home = Date fail 

     


  • I know the feeling. I know my divorce isn't final yet, but I'm just talking to this one guy. However, he's been honorably discharged from the navy from some big accident he had, which causes him to have grand mal siezures (I think that's how you spell it). I don't know how often. But another thing he told me is that he moves really fast in relationships. Which, in my case, I don't think I'm ready for that step yet. So I'm still only talking to him, we haven't went on a date yet. And that's mostly cause I'm too scared to. I'm thinking I should just stop talking to him all together for fear that I'm leading him on.

    What do you all think?

  • I know what you mean....I also agree with a PP though in that if you had fun then just leave it at that. There will be other dates in the future, and one day everything will be just *right*.

    The guy I went out with last week pulled a disappearing act, so I know how you feel. It's so disappointing :[

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  • Don't get discouraged....dating is a huge pain in the butt!  You have to go through a lot of duds before you find one that gets to stick around for a while, but eventually you will find the right person.  It can be frustrating but try to have fun with it and just hang in there. 

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  • Yah, I think you all are correct in that it will happen when we least expect it.  It's difficult with our society because it seems like there is so much pressure and expectations to be part of a couple.  I generally am very happy with my life-I have lots of wonderful friends and have made even more since STBXH and I split.  I honestly don't even know if I have time in my life for a relationship.  Every once in awhile I just let the loneliness get me down and it's not a good way to think.  I seriously wish that we all lived closer to eachother because then we could have a single mom's dinner once or twice a month! 
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  • imageYessa83:

    I know the feeling. I know my divorce isn't final yet, but I'm just talking to this one guy. However, he's been honorably discharged from the navy from some big accident he had, which causes him to have grand mal siezures (I think that's how you spell it). I don't know how often. But another thing he told me is that he moves really fast in relationships. Which, in my case, I don't think I'm ready for that step yet. So I'm still only talking to him, we haven't went on a date yet. And that's mostly cause I'm too scared to. I'm thinking I should just stop talking to him all together for fear that I'm leading him on.

    What do you all think?

    I personally think that it is pointless to actively date or be pursued if you aren't emotionally ready yet.  If he is willing to just be friends for now and take things slow then I would continue to talking to him.  If you feel like he is trying to move things along at a faster pace than you are ready for then you might want to slow things down. 

    And you definitely don't want to lead him on.  We've all been in a situation like that before where you know it's not going anywhere but keep talking/seeing the person because you are at least getting companionship from it.  But if you truly know that you are on different pages right now, it might be better to cool it for awhile.

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  • Sorry to hear that. At least your getting out there. You will find the right guy at the right time. Big Smile
  • I agree with what most of the other ladies are saying, at least you are getting out and seeing whats out there. Eventually you will meet a guy that you click with. Had my boyfriend now and i not been friends for 5 years i would still be single right now, not that there's anything wrong with that. I just wouldn't have had it in me to go out meeting new people and getting to know someone. If that makes sense. lol
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