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Parenting
DD really wants my divorced parents to come to her party
She is so sweet. She's got a little guest list of people she wants to invite including grandma faraway, my mother, and my dad. My mother and step-father have already committed to coming and have told DD over the phone they will see her here and she is excited. My father wont commit to coming and is making up a new excuse as to why he might not be able to make it everytime i speak to him. FYI, the party isnt until June 19th, and ive already gotten a litany of excuses including today's, Judy (stepmother) just had ear surgery 2 days ago and the doctor doesnt want her travelling for a month. Really? Anyway, i wouldnt care, after 34 years im used to his lame excuses but the thought of him disappointing DD makes me want to kill him.
i guess i just needed to vent.
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Re: DD really wants my divorced parents to come to her party
That is so frustrating....however I would look on the bright side and just be glad that he isn't saying he will come, and then doesn't show. The way it stands now, you can tell your daughter that grandpa won't be coming b/c stepgrandma had surgery and they can't make it. SHE won't know the difference (that it's a lie) and while disappointed, at least it's not a broken promise and she will know ahead of time.
(((HUGS)))
Yea, broken promises (which my parents are the king and queen of) are not allowed in this house. If you aren't going to come, don't you DARE tell my children you will be there. Thankfully, I really only have to deal with this with my mom (as my dad is pretty absent and they don't talk to him but 2 times a year). And with my mom, she knows that I will go up one side of her and down the other if she ever lies to my children.
In your case, I would just avoid having her talk to him. And if you think the opportunity might arise that she does get to talk to him, I would tell him ahead of time that he is not allowed to tell her he will be there....UNLESS he IS going to be there!
I'm sorry he's being like that. DH's parents are like that, while mine are not. they would never miss a grandchild's bday b/c of their feelings about their ex (they're over the divorce, they just annoy each other). I particularly don't get it when the parents are remarried.
Would it help any to call your dad and tell him he's being ridiculous and needs to come for your DD?
My mom tried to throw out a lame A excuse to not come to DD1's 2nd birthday party. I had a come-to-Jesus convo. If I were you, I'd do the same. My mom has broken too many promises with me for me to just let her do whatever with the kids. I sternly told her that these are her grandkids, and they (the kids) did nothing to cause the bitterness that she feels, and if she was going to make poor excuses about why she can't do this or that, she could just stay away. I'm not letting my kids feel like they aren't a priority to her, and I'm not letting her disappoint them like she did to me. She came to the party and hasn't backed out on a party/visit since.