Community› The Bump Message Boards› Pregnant after a Loss
Pregnant after a Loss
New Discussion

one year ago today, i lost my peanut.

someflower6someflower6 member
in Pregnant after a Loss

one year ago today was the worst day of my life. it was the day i started spotting, and found out i had lost my peanut at 10weeks, 2 days.

i can't even begin to think about it without getting teared up. i don't remember everything about that day, i don't remember what i did that morning... but i do remember at 11:55, i went to the bathroom and saw blood and felt my heart collapse. i remember everything that happened from that moment til 3:45, when the u/s confirmed the peanut had stopped growing. and i remember everything about the phone conversation i had with my ob (actually, it wasn't my ob, i hadn't met him at the time, it was my ob's partner), asking if i wanted to pass it naturally or have a d&c the next day. and really, the only thing i remember after that was feeling complete and absolute devestation even though i wanted so much to be ok and know that it was just "one of those things." i remember in the weeks following, thinking that nothing could have prepared me for just how profound a loss it was to me, and how it was something that i could not rush getting over.

i do still think of my peanut everyday. it took a really long time for me to reach the point where i could think of my peanut without crying. however, whenever i think about that day one year ago, whenever i remember THAT day's horrible events and those horrible feelings that came with it... i don't think i'll ever be able to think of it without crying.

thanks for listening girls, i know you understand all too well. *hugs*

Report Reply to Post

Re: one year ago today, i lost my peanut.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"