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3rd Trimester
Anyone else's MIL acting like you're having HER baby?
Venting...my MIL, normally a very mild mannered, quiet and reserved women, has been going nuts (i'm guessing with excitment-hopefully) ever since we told her we're pregnant. this is the first grandchild, and we're having a girl and she has 2 boys...but sometimes the things she does seems a little odd. She has stocked up her house with tons of baby items to keep there--she got a glider and ottoman, set up a rocking station with books, has some new clothes in NB sizes, a diaper genie, a pack n play and a swing! MIL and FIL live 15 mintues away from us so its not like the baby will be spending a lot of alone time there! This is driving me nuts! It's like she thinks she will be spending all this alone time with our baby and needs all this gear...kind of makes me feel like she is expecting to grandparent as much as I will be parenting this baby!
I am trying to grin and bear it--I know she is just excited but my hormones sometimes get the best of me. Does anyone else find this a bit odd and would you do anything about it? DH just says "oh she is just excited..she knows she won't be keeping the baby!"
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Re: Anyone else's MIL acting like you're having HER baby?
I'm kinda glad they have their own gear since I won't have to lug everything to their houses when LO goes over.
When I get annoyed, I think about DS when he is all grown up and married. When he has a baby, I'll be crazy excited too. Helps with perspective. I know it's annoying though!
Aw she's just excited. Be happy that she is that involved vs. not enough. Trust me....after that baby grows to be a toddler, you'll be begging MIL to take her. I would suck it up and chalk it up to her just being overjoyed.
Does she normally annoy you? If not, you should feel lucky to have her so close. My closest family is almost 3 hours away. I wish I had a built in babysitter!!!
I can tell you that my grandma had my pap buy her a rocker when I was born... I now have it and it was never used by her like she thought she would... and I was always at her house as a baby.
I can also tell you that my MIL keeps a PNP, bouncy, exersaucer, bumbo, tons of diapers, wipes, diaper cream, medicines, baby shampoo and wash, some clothes and a kit w/ med. spoon, nasal aspirator and nail clippers in it. It's a WONDERFUL convenience to know I could go out of the house w/o a diaper bag and know everything is there that we need. DS is 23 months, has ONLY been away from me 2 nights and those were nights I was in the hospital so there was no choice.
My own mother is acting like that. She lives SEVEN hours away in Kentucky, and bought a crib (drop-side, great), and all kinds of random stuff for her guest room. We hardly ever go down there, since we usually just do a big extended family thing for Christmas in Illinois, and she's come up here more since I've been pregnant than she has in years.
And I actually caught her saying "my baby" in reference to MY baby. I corrected her.
"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
I'm sort of getting this. MIL makes comments about needing a PNP, a bouncy seat and even her own diaper bag. I try to just take a deep breath and know that she is excited. Normally she is very non-invasive so I'm trying not to let it bug me. Admittedly though every so often those comments bug the sh!t out of me.
I can see the value in having SOME things at her house, but really, her own diaper bag? I would never drop my kid off without a bag packed for her covering her needs. A PNP, now that seems useful, the rest, a little crazy...
Of course DH's family historically passed babies around quite a bit for babysitting, so maybe she really believes she'll have my kid that much! Hard for me to imagine at this point, though I know there will be a point that I am beyond grateful.
Even though this is my first, I have 10 neices and nephews on my side of the family. My mom has all sorts of toys, gear, a pack n' play, 2 high chairs, toys for older kids, a swingset, etc. etc.
You wouldn't believe how handy it is at family get-togethers, since most of the get-togethers are at my parents' house! My siblings don't have to lug a whole bunch of stuff over, and the little ones can easily take naps while the adults hang. It's awesome.
Since this is the first grandbaby for her, keep in mind that she will probably keep all this stuff for future grandchildren. And there will most likely be occassions where having her watch LO will be extremely helpful!
My sister asks my parents to watch her 3 year old more than she probably ever guessed she would, being that she's a SAHM. For example, she will trying to get some shopping done, and her daughter needs a nap, so she will just call my dad (retired) and ask him if he would mind if her daughter naps at their house. When my sister is sick, my parents will take her daughter. My parents love it!
I bet your extended family will get more use out of all that baby gear than you think!
This for me, too. My mom just asked me what "our plan" (meaning hers and mine) was for my delivery of #2. I was like, "Er... DH and I have a plan and we'll call you when it's over... just like last time..." Complicating our situation is that my brother died just shy of 2 years ago, so my mom is doing everything in her power to turn DS into my brother. I can't be too upset because losing a brother/son is so so so difficult. On the other hand, DS is not her "second chance" (her words, not mine!) - he is a little boy and he is *my* son.
My parents already have one grandchild and they got a bunch of supplies at their house which will be nice so, even though we live close, we won't have to drag a ton over to their house when visiting.
My MIL on the other-hand - I'm totally on the same page as you & other PP. Everytime she asks how I'm feeling, she also asks how "her" babies are and when we're out in public she also uses the term "my" babies when she's telling friends & other people about our twin boys on the way. SHe is usually quiet & reserved and I had no problems with her during wedding planning time but this time she's getting on my nerves!!!!!
Late to answer...but my MIL always says "we" are due in August...umm no lady "I" am due in August not you. I don't know why it drives me so crazy it just gets under my skin. I have corrected her several times but she is clueless.
I also registered at BRU and she insists that she saw something similar at Boscov's...if you don't like what your son and I picked out then don't buy it but be prepared for me to return something you bought if I don't like it.
It drives DH nuts too but he doesn't want to say anything and hurt her feelings. He is in for a rude awakening b/c I am not living the rest of my life worrying about hurting her feelings. After all she has hurt mine several times and never once apologized to me...instead she calls DH and cries.
She's not real up to date on etiquette and it gets me in embarrassing situations sometimes. I find myself apologizing for her a lot more than I would like.